Steamroller

“Why?” I quipped. “I only want one thing out of this.”

“To get laid.”

“No, ass,” I snapped. “A date. I want the man to ask me out on a real date.”

“Dating.” He shivered. “And talking… Jesus, why?”

“You did it with Ellie.”

“No, I didn’t. I banged her the night I met her, and it’s convenient, so she sticks around.”

“That’s charming.”

“Why are you glaring at me?”

“Because Ellie loves you, and—”

“Please. Loves me, my ass. Do you know that we had a threesome two nights ago? El likes eating—”

“Oh God no, don’t tell me.”

“You’re such a prude, man. Can’t hear about some girl parts?”

“I have no problem with girls,” I assured him. “I just don’t want to see any naked.”

“Yeah, well, we’re thinking that next we’re gonna get a guy.”

“Really.” I humored him since he was talking completely out of his ass. Him in bed with a guy, who was he kidding? “So you got the guy all picked out?”

“Yep, have for a long time. Although,” he murmured, his voice dropping low, “I’m not that sure I want Ellie there.”

“Which is a whole other discussion for you and Ellie.”

He grunted as I drained either my fifth or sixth margarita. But I’d been drinking since four, so it was nice and spread out. I was about to put the glass down when Kurt moved over to me and took it out of my hand, stepping close enough that I had to tip my head back to look at him.

“You want another one?”

“Yeah, I’ll get Shane to do it when he gets back.” I smiled at him while moving away. “Now go mingle, it’s your birthday party.”

“Come out and stand by me.”

“Why?” I whined that time.

“Because I do better when you’re there,” he told me, shrugging. “I don’t say as much stupid shit.”

I gave him a dismissive wave. “Go host already.”

“Please.”

I looked at him, and he was suddenly grinning at me.

And I noticed, as I always did in those unguarded moments when he wasn’t being a complete and total ass, that his gunmetal eyes glowed when he was amused. The short-cropped white-blond hair with the darker highlights, his elegantly shaped brows and sinful mouth were enough to make a grown man cry. His eyes made the man dangerous, as did the lean muscular body that moved with the fluidity of a dancer. He was the embodiment of carnal pleasure, and he would have made my heart stop if he didn’t know it. But he was more than aware that he was gorgeous and would let you know he knew, and that arrogance, coupled with the casual “love ’em and leave ’em” attitude of his, made him less than desirable. At the moment, Ellie was his girlfriend, but it had almost reached the two-month mark when he began gasping for air, suddenly suffocating, and broke up with whoever he was with.

“Go,” I ordered, pointing, directing him toward the swinging door.

He left, and I got some more trays out when unsuspecting people came in looking for ice or beer or wine. I put things in their hands and they were steered back the way they’d come. After several minutes, Kurt returned, waggling his eyebrows at me.

“Oh God, what?”

His smirk was lethal. “Your boyfriend brought a date.”

I straightened up from where I was, bent over, taking another cookie sheet out of the oven. “What?”

“A date,” he reiterated, drawing out the word for me. “Prince Charming brought his own plus-one.”

“Are you serious?”

He grunted.

“Shit.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” I groused.

“Yeah, no, I’m not.” He smiled at me. “But I guess to him, when you invited him to my birthday party—you did invite him, right? Otherwise I’m throwing his ass right out the—”

“Of course I invited him!” I had called him earlier that day.

“Well, apparently he missed that you were into him and missed the memo on you being gay, because for one, he brought a date, and for two… it’s a chick.”

“No!” I rushed to the swinging door to look.

“You’re gonna be pissed.”

Peeking through the crack, I gasped, and Kurt lost it, howling in his kitchen.

“Holy fuck, that’s Barbara!”

He couldn’t even breathe behind me.

“Wait,” I said, piecing it together.

“I swear to God your life is the suckiest movie ever.”

“That means the biology TA that my best friend’s girlfriend was fucking behind his back is the guy I like?”

Kurt dissolved into laughter behind me, having to clutch the counter so he didn’t sink to the floor.

“Ohmygod!”

Big gulp of air and he wiped the tears from his eyes.

I whirled around to face him. “You fuck! You knew!”

He picked up a potato masher to fend me off. “I thought maybe. Possibly. I saw them together a couple of times.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Awww, you look so sad.”

“Kurt!”

He was cackling. “I had no idea you were into him. We’re not girlfriends, we don’t sit around and talk about boys.”