Out on the Serve (Out in College 7)

“Coffee matters.” I grinned.

“Some days more than others. I’m not doing anything that matters at the moment.”

“Are you supposed to be doing something important?”

“No. This is my first real summer break in years.”

“Then all you need to do is have fun…and not take life too seriously,” I advised sagely. “So, let’s play the picnic game. Make up a story. Silly is good. All you have is a pizza box. Go.”

“Um…you want me to make up a story about a pizza box?”

“Yep.” I jumped off the futon and pulled out another slice. “It can be X-rated if you want. Just sayin’.”

Braden snickered. “How is that possible?”

“Dude. I can make anything X-rated. I’m sure you can too. Look, you could say this is actually a magical suitcase. You click open the lock and out comes…” I pointed at him. “You finish.”

“A dildo.”

I threw my head back and laughed. “See? You’re good at this!”

“No, I was kidding.”

“No, you weren’t. Are you blushing?” I pulled at his leg hair, then shielded my eyes and glanced around the room like a sailor searching for land. “How many dildos do you have hidden in this room?”

“None. How many do you have?”

“Three.” I gave a lecherous lopsided grin as I popped my last bite of pizza into my mouth.

“You have three dildos?” he repeated.

“Yeah, one was a gag gift from Tucker. It’s ridiculously big.” I gestured the width and length, exaggerating the dimensions a bit to make him laugh. “It was his way of showing support when I came out, so I’ll probably keep it around. I have an ordinary ten-incher and…I have a double dick.”

Braden pursed his lips in amusement. “A double dick?”

“Yeah, one of those long ones with the equipment on both ends so you and your partner can fuck yourselves at the same time.”

His mouth dropped open. “Have you ever—no. Sorry. Never mind. Do you want another beer or—”

“Ask that question,” I intercepted.

“Okay. Have you ever used it with a partner?”

“No, it’s a newer purchase, and my recent exes wouldn’t have been into it anyway.”

“I’d never ask a girlfriend to use a dildo on me. Like ever,” he said emphatically.

“Why not? Dildos are equal-opportunity toys. But I never asked Anna. I knew she wouldn’t have been on board, and I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

Braden nodded thoughtfully. “She seems cool.”

I gritted my teeth to fight the wave of jealousy. Anna was cool. I didn’t want to ask any more questions about his upcoming date. He sounded more resigned than excited, so there was no reason to be bummed about it. But I was. I sucked in a deep breath and prepared to tell the boy I had a crush on about the girl I used to love.

“She is cool. But I was kind of careful around Anna. She was good and sweet and…I was just a punk from the wrong side of the tracks. I didn’t want to unleash too much of the real me. It’s funny. I held myself back for so long that I felt like I was suffocating by the time I came out. She tried to tell me she was fine with me being bi and even experimenting with guys on the side.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And maybe I should have been into the idea, but it seemed like getting a green light to cheat. It’s not what I wanted in a relationship.”

“What did you want?”

“I wanted…someone who got me. And vice versa. I still want that, but maybe I’m not ready. I probably need time on my own.”

“Same here. I’m not good at relationships. I always feel like I’m going to fail before it begins. I’m never relaxed, and I think it shows. I don’t know how to just be…me. You know?” Braden shook his head. “You probably don’t know what I mean. You’re good at letting it all hang out.”

I smiled weakly. “With my friends, yes. But I tried that with Drew, and it backfired. I think that’s why I took it so hard when he broke up with me. He didn’t want all the crazy. He didn’t care about meeting my friends or going to my games. It took me a couple of months after we were finished to realize he didn’t want to know me.”

“His loss,” Braden said kindly.

I shrugged as I held his gaze. And damn, something happened. I couldn’t say what it was exactly, but it felt like an electric current or a cosmic signal transmitting a bolt of heat and awareness. And fuck, it was stronger than me. I set my plate aside, leaned forward, and pressed my lips to his.

We froze for a long moment. I didn’t want to upset the balance. I figured it was best to let him lead. So I closed my eyes and tried not to sigh too loudly when he brushed his nose over mine and pulled away slightly to lick my lips, then slipped his tongue inside. The kiss was potent as fuck. I felt like I could get drunk on the perfect push and pull of his tongue and the feel of his fingers in my hair. I could have kissed him all night. No hurry. No place else I’d rather be and no one I’d rather be with. Only Braden.