“So you really like those things?” I asked, stepping closer.
“No. I hate them,” he whispered.
“Hate? That’s a little strong.”
“Okay, you’re right. They’re blah. Not worth the calories. What did you do with the actual M&M’s in this bag?”
“I ate ’em.”
I chuckled at his exaggerated scowl, then cast a quick glance around the dim utilitarian area. It was cramped and smelled vaguely of cigarettes and water damage. The walls were covered with ancient concert posters. Some dated to the fifties. Under decades worth of grime, there was a sense of intimacy here that made me feel a little brave. I ran my fingers along his side and turned slightly to make sure it was just us and the band. Johnny and Justin were harmonizing, and Tegan was twirling his sticks anxiously. Gray must have left. The coast was clear.
Charlie’s lips parted slightly as I sidled closer. His eyes took on a sex-hazed look that made me want to wrap my fingers around his throat and push my tongue into his mouth. The insta-electric current of lust and need was mesmerizing and strong as fuck. If I wasn’t careful, I’d do something dumb and give us away. I didn’t care, but Charlie might.
“What are you doing after the show?” he asked.
“You,” I quipped.
We chuckled. When Tegan turned toward us, I pulled my bass across my chest and strummed a riff from our opening song in a lame attempt at neutrality.
“I’m a bad idea,” he blurted.
“I know. But I’m worse…by a long shot.”
Charlie watched my fingers on the fret before meeting my eyes. He chuckled softly. “You are. Break a leg.”
I met his smile with one that threatened to split my face in two. The butterflies did their thing and my heart sped up another notch, but I felt light and breezy. And I had no desire to run or hide from the feeling. I wanted to revel in it ’cause just being around him felt good.
Someone called his name and broke the spell. He gave me a harried smile before heading for the door. I sucked in a deep breath, then joined my bandmates.
Tegan tapped his drumsticks together, sparing me a quick sideways glance. “What’s up with you two?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t play dumb, Baldwin. You were flirting with Charlie. Again. What’s up with that?”
“A little flirting never hurt anyone,” I bluffed.
“Right.” Tegan looked over at Justin and Johnny and tapped his sticks together when I nodded in agreement. Conversation over. Except…not quite. “Charlie isn’t like those other guys. Be careful, Ky.”
“What other guys?” I was immediately sorry I asked.
The second the words left my mouth, my brain started connecting the dots. It wasn’t that I’d forgotten that Tegan and I had known each other more than half our lives. It was just that we were never close friends. We hung around the same circles, but not really. Tegan had always been mature beyond his years. He’d never had a problem walking away from users and losers and never-ending parties. I did. Past tense. Bottom line…Tegan knew just enough about me, or “the old me,” to know I had a bad reputation.
“You know what I’m talking about. I know you aren’t straight, man.” Tegan sharpened his gaze and leaned closer. “You can tell me to fuck off. I totally respect that ten years have gone by and I’m overstepping some boundaries, but Zero is your family now and that makes you my brother. As your older, wiser brother…be careful with Charlie.”
“Fuck, I’m not gonna do anything to him, T.”
Tegan scoffed. “It’s the other way around, Ky. Charlie’s smarter than the four of us combined. He will literally eat you for lunch and spit you out before dinner. Don’t underestimate Charlie, and don’t let him fool you. This isn’t high school. This is the real world, and if we want this band to go anywhere, we can’t fuck up the chemistry. Don’t start something you can’t control.”
“Mind your own fuckin’ business,” I hissed.
Tegan held his hands up. “Hey, just a friendly reminder, Baldwin. That’s all.”
The hard nudge to my shoulder felt like more than a reminder. It felt like a message. And I didn’t need any fucking messages…so I lost it. I shoved him hard enough that he stumbled back a couple of steps. He looked surprised at first and then pissed. Justin and Johnny looked up just as Tegan charged at me.
I should have been nervous. I was roughly the same height as Tegan, but he was built like a Mack truck. His biceps had biceps. It didn’t take a genius to know he could kick my ass and not break a sweat. But I wasn’t feeling so smart at the moment. I just wanted him to shut the fuck up. I didn’t want to be reminded of where I was from or any of the stupid mistakes I’d made. Zero was my second chance. And maybe I owed Tegan for giving me the opportunity, but it sure as fuck didn’t give him the right to use it against me.