“Like I said, it’s just an observation. I could be wrong. You look like the kind of guy who’d slay dragons and scare away monsters. If I were into sports…and I’m not, I’d want you on my team.”
“Thanks. I think.” I traced the ink on his hip bone with my forefinger, then asked in a small voice, “What do you suggest?”
“Suggest? I told you, I don’t know about parent stuff,” he argued.
“You know about people. You connect with him. How?” My tone sounded desperate to my own ears. “I do all the things you do. I talk to him. I ask him about his day and what he’s into and—”
“Yeah, but he thinks he has to tell you what you want to hear. He doesn’t have to please me or be afraid of failure. As far as guitar is concerned, he’s sure he’ll fail, so the bar is low. I’m easy. You’re not.”
“Geez,” I sighed, swiping my hand over my beard.
“Hey, don’t be hard on yourself. It probably comes with the territory.”
“I don’t know about that. Penny doesn’t seem to have any issues.”
“Penny’s nine. Her time will come,” he said sagely. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a downer. You shouldn’t listen to me anyway. I told you I don’t know about family things. I don’t have one.”
“At all? What about aunts, uncles, cousins…”
“Nope. My mom’s brother used to come around when I was little to check on her. They didn’t get along and after a while, he stopped trying.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Doesn’t matter anymore. I lived vicariously through TV sitcom families, so in some ways, I’m an expert.”
I smiled. “You’re smarter than you credit yourself, Johnny. What would you do if you were me? I’m open to suggestions.”
He bit his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Okay…do something as a family that you might suck at. Put yourself on even ground…if just for a minute. What are you bad at?”
“Nothing,” I quipped.
Johnny chuckled softly. “Basketball?”
“I won state in high school.”
“Rock climbing?”
“There’s indoor climbing at my gym.”
“Hiking?”
“Love it,” I replied.
“God, you’re a monster. How about board games?”
“Uh…”
He whooped and sat up. “Boom, there it is!”
I set my jaw stubbornly. “I’m not playing a board game.”
“Oh, come on,” he cajoled. “Which one do you hate the most? Monopoly, Clue, Life, Risk?”
“They’re all terrible.”
He eyed me shrewdly. “It’s Monopoly, huh? You get sent to jail on the regular, you never win the pot, and you can’t afford your rent on Boardwalk. Gotta be tough on a real estate dude.”
“It’s hell,” I confirmed.
“Then that’s the game for you!”
“Well, thankfully I don’t own it.”
“I’ll buy it for you. We’ll call it an early Christmas present.”
I rolled on top of him and ruffled his hair before giving him a noogie. “Fine, but you have to play with us.”
“Nah, that should be a family thing.”
“Chicken,” I taunted. “You hate it too, don’t you?”
“No, I wouldn’t want to make you look bad in front of your kids when I kick your ass.”
“That wouldn’t happen.”
“Right, ’cause it’s a family thing…I’m not playing,” he insisted stubbornly.
“It’s a four-person game. We need you.”
“Three people can play, and what happened to your rule about keeping your private life separate? I don’t like breaking rules,” Johnny singsonged.
I laughed. “Bullshit. The kids would love it and…so would I.”
He smiled but didn’t reply right away.
“What about Fiona?”
I furrowed my brow. “What about her?”
“Oh, come on. All your secrecy must mean they’re her rules too. For the kids’ sake.”
“They’re mainly my rules,” I admitted.
“Well, according to your lame-ass rules, I’m not supposed to be here at your house when they are.”
“But you teach Parker guitar and he considers you a friend, so I think that rule can be bent. Besides, they don’t know about us.”
“True, but Penny saw me kiss you. Just because they didn’t tell on us doesn’t mean they forgot,” he huffed.
“It was a while ago. Not a big deal.” I caressed his chin, then lay back on my pillow with my hands tucked under my head. “But hey…it’s not like I want to play Monopoly, so it’s kind of a moot point.”
“You’re afraid I’m gonna win.”
“Not true. And it’s not exactly a game of skill,” I replied haughtily.
He snorted in amusement. “That’s what you’ll tell yourself, but we’ll see how it goes. Losing is tough.”
“I’m not going to lose.”
“So you say,” Johnny taunted. “Let’s make a bet. Winner gets to make one demand of the loser. It can be simple…like eat a whole jalapeño or a blowjob on demand. You can handle either of those.”
“I’m not going to lose,” I repeated.
Johnny jumped on top of me, straddling my waist before tickling my sides. “I’m so gonna kick your ass.”
I easily switched positions, caught both of his wrists in one hand, and proceeded to tickle him until he almost kneed me in the nuts. I retaliated by flattening myself over him. Bad call. Johnny lifted his hips to meet mine, rubbing his semi against my pelvis seductively. I might have been on top, but he was the one in control. And for once, I didn’t mind.