“What about my dad?”
Fuck. Do not cry.
I blinked rapidly, then squinted to hold back the tears. “I don’t know.”
“I understand,” he said sagely. “I just—it’s, um…maybe later, when you feel like it, you can come around again. I think he misses you.”
“Yeah,” I choked. “That would be cool.”
“Penny misses you too.”
I smiled. “What about you?’
Parker shrugged but didn’t bother hiding his Cheshire cat grin. “You’re okay.”
I leaned over my guitar and mussed his hair. “You’re a punk. C’mon, let’s rock.”
“Wait. I just…thank you. Thanks for teaching me guitar. And…thanks for being my friend.”
I blinked back tears and nodded. “I’m the one who should thank you, Park. You’re one of the coolest guys I know. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
He smiled and lowered his head, then strummed his instrument.
It occurred to me as I watched his fingers move through a veil of tears that I’d done some growing up over the past few months. I didn’t have any answers, and I still had a hole inside me the size of the Grand Canyon, but I had reasons to hope. I wasn’t the same man I’d been at the beginning of the year. I’d let go of the notion that I wasn’t worthy or that I was a pretender.
No way. I was the real thing. I worked hard and I deserved the success I’d earned. If I couldn’t have everything I wanted, I could at least lead by example. And with a little luck, maybe one day…the right pieces would fall into place.
Later that night, just when I thought I had my head on straight, my cell buzzed.
Message from Penny Gruen.
Hi Johnny. It’s Penny. This is your invitation for dinner tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you!
Sean
Okay, this might be a long shot.
I glanced at the table for two Penny had set up outside next to the pool. She’d fussed over the tablecloth and insisted on cutting roses from the garden to match. Her handwritten menu lay on the plates beside her prized Wonder Woman glasses. Parker had compiled a soundtrack for the occasion and gave me strict instructions to push Play the second Johnny knocked on the door.
If he showed up.
No, he said he’d swing by. I checked our text exchange to make sure I hadn’t bungled the date.
Can you come over tomorrow at 6?
He hadn’t responded for an hour, but when he did, he wrote, Does this have anything to do with the message Penny sent earlier?
It might.
I watched three dancing dots appear, then disappear before I finally received his last text. Okay.
I was well aware that I’d set myself up for the possibility of falling flat on my face. This could all go wrong. I might be disappointed, humiliated, and left to lick my wounds alone, but I had to try.
Ding dong.
Lullah raced through the house. Her incessant barking clashed with the rapid tattoo of my heartbeat.
“Shh,” I scolded in a whisper. “Behave. Wish me luck, girl.”
She cocked her head adorably and waited for me to open the door.
Fuck, he was beautiful. The pop of red on his lips was his only concession to color. He wore black jeans, a black T-shirt, a black leather jacket, and a tentative smile.
“Hi.”
“Hi, come in.” I stepped aside and gave him room to greet Lullah properly before closing the door and moving ahead of him into the house. I pushed Play on my iPad, then waited for him to join me in the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Uh…no. You said this was important and Penny insisted on—” He entered slowly with his hands in his pockets, then cocked his head and pointed at the ceiling. “Why are you listening to this song?”
I shrugged nonchalantly as if surprised to hear “Love Me Do” piped through the speakers. I uncapped a beer and handed it to him. If he didn’t drink it, I would. I was parched as hell and more nervous than I’d ever been in my life.
“No idea. Um, look, I have something to say.”
“Me too. Hey, I’m sorry I put you on the spot like that. It was a crappy thing to do. You shouldn’t ask anyone for more than they can give. That’s a rule, I think. I’m not good at rules or—”
“Fuck rules.”
“O-kay…” Johnny narrowed his eyes. “Are you all right?”
I swallowed hard. “No. Not really.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No, please. Please stay,” I choked. I shook my head and let out a strangled sound when my carefully planned words failed me. “I had a speech written in my head and I can’t remember anything now that you’re here. I just…I wish I had the right words. I wish I knew how to say what I feel and tell you what I want.”
Johnny set the beer bottle on the island untouched and leaned against the counter.