“You going to school tomorrow, bud?” Ronan asked.
Evan shifted in his seat. “Yeah. I can’t let them win, right?”
Ronan nodded. “Right. Just be careful. I have an idea that might help, but I need a couple days to pull it together, okay?”
“Okay.” Evan paused. “Does this have something to do with asking for Mr. Humphries’s email?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, Ronan. I trust you.” He looked at me. “You too, Liam.”
I pulled him in for a fast hug. “Good man.”
We ate ice cream after the girls got home. I sat on the steps while Paige put Lucy to bed, and Ronan and Beth stayed with Evan. Paige came outside, sitting beside me. I slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.
“Lucy settle okay?”
“Once she was sure her unicorn was tucked in too, yes.” She chuckled. “That thing you won her is as big as she is.”
“Bigger,” I agreed.
“Sorry about our date.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. Ronan says he’s coming over tomorrow. We can go out then.”
“Oh, ah—”
I cut off her objections. “They’ll look after Lucy, and it gives them some alone time. I want to take you out.”
“All right.”
I pressed a kiss to her head. “So enthusiastic.”
She laughed and snuggled closer. “I just feel guilty.”
“Doing something for yourself, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“I told you, your life is changing, Paige. What happened before is the past.”
“Sometimes that lingers,” she whispered.
“Your ex,” I said.
I felt her nod against my chest. I waited, but she didn’t say anything.
“You don’t have any family?” I asked.
“No. My parents split when I was little. My mom died when I started university. It was just her and me. I never saw my father aside from a few pictures. He was older than my mother. He passed a few years before she did.”
“Was she ill?”
“Yes.” She swallowed. “We weren’t, ah, close. I think she always blamed me for my father leaving us. I mean, she was nice and treated me okay, but there wasn’t any affection, and she encouraged me to leave as early as possible. She always treated me like a friend or a little sister, not a mom. I learned how to do things on my own pretty fast.”
“Sounds lonely.”
“It was. I always swore my kids would know how much they were loved.”
“Lucy knows.”
“I hope so.”
“Hey.” I waited until she met my eyes. “You are an amazing mother. In fact, you’re the whole package, Paige. Loving, caring, beautiful, sexy—” I stopped at the subtle shake of her head.
“You brush off my compliments all the time.” I narrowed my eyes. “Between your mother and your ex, you have no idea how special you are, do you?”
She played with the hem of the sweater she was wearing. “I-I don’t know how to answer that.” She swallowed. “Alan was very critical. I mean, when we dated, he seemed uptight at times, but once we were married, he became controlling and, ah, very vocal about my shortcomings.”
“Your shortcomings?” I repeated. I didn’t really want to have this conversation here, sitting outside, but since it had come up, I decided we needed to address it.
“I was too slow, I didn’t keep the house tidy enough, my clothes didn’t fit me the way they should since I was, ah, fat. Nothing ever pleased him. He constantly compared me to his friends’ and coworkers’ wives. They were prettier, sexier. Thinner.” She snorted. “Taller too, not that I could do much about that.”
“Yet you stayed with him.”
“I didn’t have anywhere else to go. He had taken over my life without me even realizing it.”
“Lucy?” I asked.
“All his friends’ wives were getting pregnant. He always wanted to keep up the appearance of a perfect, happy couple.” She sighed. “It was like a competition. Someone got a new car, he had to have one. They got the latest cell, he bought a better one. They remodeled their bathroom with a soaker tub, he got a hot tub. Always more. It was never enough.” She shook her head. “Nothing, especially me, was ever enough.” She rested her chin on her hand and canted her head toward me. “He wanted a baby too. I thought maybe if we had kids, he’d relax. Be happy. Be a family.”
“Didn’t work, did it?”
“No. I had a hard pregnancy. I was sick all the time, and he complained. He never came to a doctor’s appointment with me. He told me I was making it up—faking being sick to get out of cleaning the house or cooking or going to one of his stupid work events.” She shared a small smile. “I have to admit, I didn’t miss those boring things.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“When the ultrasound showed Lucy’s arm not growing properly, he freaked. Blamed me. Said he wasn’t going to have a baby that wasn’t perfect in his life. He ranted and raved. Threw things. Stormed out.” She shifted, wrapping her arms around her knees and drawing in on herself.