Stevie saw a muscle tighten in Cole’s jaw, but he replied evenly, as if the question was one he’d heard too many times to take offense. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“That was all the boy was ever interested in,” Jim said as an aside to Stevie. “Holin’ up in his room with computer games and such. Couldn’t get him interested in sports or hunting or fishing, and he sure wasn’t getting his hands dirty under the hood of a car.”
Cole placed a hand on Stevie’s arm, though she wasn’t certain if it was for her benefit or his own. “I doubt Stevie wants to hear a list of your disappointments with me, Dad. It’s getting dark, so we’d better get back on the road. I’m sure you want to get back to your work.”
Jim’s eyes narrowed with what might have been a flash of irritation, but he merely nodded and said, “Yeah, I’m trying to finish this one tonight. Y’all take care now.” He turned and picked up a wrench.
Cole turned toward the exit, nudging Stevie to move along with him. She looked back over her shoulder as they walked out, but Jim was hidden behind the car hood again.
They were on the road again for less than ten minutes when Cole sighed gustily. “Okay. Let’s hear it. You’re obviously bursting to express your opinion.”
She’d been all but squirming in her seat, her mind whirling with all the things she wanted to say but wasn’t sure how to articulate. In response to his urging, the words gushed from her in a flood of exasperation. “Are you kidding me? That’s the way you announce to your father that you’ve gotten married? That’s the way he responds? What on earth is wrong with you two?”
Cole didn’t look at all surprised by her outburst. “I gave up trying to answer that question a long time ago. I guess Dad and I are just too different to be close. Not that anyone gets close to my dad. He and Peggy get along well enough, but I’d hardly call their relationship a warm and cozy one. She takes care of the house and stays busy with her church. He works, eats the meals she makes him and watches a little TV before he starts again at daylight the next day. The guys who work for him call him a grouch and a perfectionist, but he pays well enough that most of them have been with him quite a while.”
“So he’s a difficult man. That doesn’t mean you should stop trying to have a relationship with him.”
“I do try, Stevie.” Cole spoke just a bit more sharply this time. “Why the hell do you think I stopped by to introduce you to him? You saw how he acted. Like we were an interruption he had to tolerate before he could get back to work. He couldn’t have cared less.”
She twisted a curl around one finger, growing thoughtful as she replayed the awkward encounter in her mind. “I’m not entirely sure that’s true. I think he did care. And I think maybe he was gruff because his feelings were a little hurt.”
The SUV swerved just a fraction on the road, a clear indication of Cole’s surprise. He gripped the wheel more tightly and focused hard on the road ahead. “You’re way off base there. Why would his feelings, if he had any, be hurt? He was the first person we told about our marriage, wasn’t he?”
“Well, you didn’t mention that to him,” she reminded him. “For all he was aware, he was the last to know.”
“You didn’t hear him ask, did you?”
“No. He probably has too much pride for that. That wall between you has gotten so thick I don’t think either of you knows how to break through it. Even how to start.”
“I did my part. I reached out a hand and as usual, he basically slapped it away because he considers it too clean to be a real man’s hand.”
For just that moment, Cole’s composure slipped enough for her to catch a fleeting glimpse of the old pain that he kept deeply hidden, but he recovered almost instantly. “Let’s not talk about this now. It’s not the way I want to end our weekend. I’ll just assure you that you don’t have to worry I’ll be anything like my father when it comes to being a dad. He’s taught me everything not to do.”
She still believed Cole would be a wonderful father. Which didn’t mean he wouldn’t still carry the scars from his past. Or that those old wounds might not open up again someday in the future, to the detriment of himself and anyone close to him.
Because she could sense it would do no good to keep pushing him now while the disappointing visit was still so fresh and raw in his mind, she let it go, changing the subject to their upcoming week’s schedule, instead. But she was going to think about this quite a bit more, she vowed silently. And maybe sh
e’d figure out a way to help Cole and his dad build a door in that stubborn, pride-strengthened wall.
* * *
There was a moment of awkwardness a while later when Cole turned onto the street where they lived. They’d stopped for a nice dinner when they’d arrived in Little Rock because he’d said they were both too tired to cook after the trip. Now that they’d finally arrived home, he didn’t seem sure whether to pull into her driveway or his own garage.
“I’ll carry the baby things into your house first,” he decided, parking in front of her house.
Faced again with the reality of their new living—and sleeping—arrangements, Stevie tried to hide her own attack of nerves behind practicality. “We should go check on Dusty. Do you think she’d adapt to living in my house with us? I don’t think cats like change, do they?”
“Beats me. I’ve never actually owned a cat before. Or should I say, I’ve never been owned by a cat before.”
She laughed. “She does get her wishes across, doesn’t she? Let’s bring her over and see if she finds my house suitable.”
Dusty seemed a bit wary of the move at first, nervously exploring the house while making sure both Stevie and Cole remained nearby. Stevie set up the litter box in the easily accessible laundry area and the food and water bowls in the kitchen, then showed both to the cat, slipping her a couple of treats in the process. Afterward, Cole sat in an armchair in the living room and patted his knee. Dusty jumped up, curled up on his lap and promptly went to sleep, apparently exhausted by the change but content to be back in her favorite place. Her rumbling purr was audible even halfway across the room to Stevie.
“She’s a demanding little diva, isn’t she?” Cole asked, fondly rubbing his pet’s ears. “I’ll help put things away in a bit. Just let me sit here with her for a few minutes to reassure her.”
She was suddenly a little jealous of the cat. She wouldn’t at all mind sitting in Cole’s lap and being petted by him. With a wry smile and shake of her head, Stevie turned toward her bedroom. “Take your time and relax. You did all the driving this weekend. I’ll just unpack my bag.”
Usually, entering her impeccably decorated bedroom was like escaping to a peaceful retreat. This lovely and understated room soothed her, gave her busy mind a rest from the creative demands of her job, from hectic schedules and complex relationships.