The sound of the rain hitting her windows should have been soothing, but it was only annoying instead. It had been raining on and off for hours. Turning over to put the clock behind her, out of sight, she found herself gazing instead at the empty pillow on the other side of the bed. She rested a hand on it, wondering fancifully if she could still feel Scott’s warmth there. But no, it was cold. Claiming apologetically that he had a list of things to do to prepare for the to prepare for the busy upcoming workweek, he hadn’t stayed tonight after they’d returned from dinner with his family. He’d left her with kisses and reluctance and a comment that he was looking forward to the time when they made their home together.
They still hadn’t talked about a date for their wedding. Scott had implied that he’d like for it to be soon, which was no particular surprise to her. Once he had a plan in place, he was always impatient to get it under way. They’d talked about a wedding, both with her family and his, but had made no specific plans as of yet, agreeing that they should wait until Christmas was behind them to focus on the logistics.
Something about the word logistics made her wince. It was such a...businesslike word, taking the practicality of their engagement to an uncomfortable extreme. Scott could make her head spin with how smoothly and easily he transitioned from teasing, affectionate, even passionate to briskly realistic and deliberately prosaic. He claimed not to be the romantic type, and seemed to even take pride in the fact, but it was almost as if he were afraid of taking that final step into deep intimacy. Was it fear of being hurt? Of doing something wrong?
Now that she’d agreed to marry him, shouldn’t he be more confident about it? Should she really have seen the faintest hint of panic in his eyes yesterday whenever anyone in their families had alluded to how romantic it was that their working relationship had turned into an engagement?
She thought about her sister. Maybe Ken had given Nina one of his rare lectures about how she should act that afternoon, because she’d been on her best behavior. She’d serve
d tea and pretty little cakes to Tess and Scott in her parlor and congratulated them on their engagement. True to form, Nina hadn’t been able to resist a few complaints that she’d been left out of the loop and that she’d heard about their engagement in such an abrupt, public manner. Tess couldn’t totally blame her sister for feeling slighted, which made her more patient in dealing with the censure. Nina had regally accepted Tess’s apologies, then proved no more resistant than most to Scott’s charming smiles and winsome contrition.
Nina had insisted she would do everything she could to help with the wedding—though of course her schedule was so very full, her presence so in demand, that she wasn’t sure how much she could physically contribute. “We’ll try to arrange lunches during the weeks ahead,” she’d said to Tess. “You can bring photos and samples and I’ll be happy to give you my input.”
Tess could easily imagine how those meetings would go. She would potentially spend hours choosing colors and dresses and music and other details, and Nina would shoot down every option with an indulgent comment about how Tess’s ideas were “cute,” but perhaps she should consider Nina’s much more fashionably inspired suggestions instead. Tess had smiled noncommittally and politely promised her older sister she’d let her know when she needed advice.
The only truly personal moment between her and her sister had come just as the visit was ending. Scott had dashed out in the downpour with an umbrella, having chivalrously volunteered to bring his car close to the front door for Tess. Waiting just inside the door with her sister, Tess had been surprised when Nina gave her a firm, apparently impulsive hug.
“I am pleased for you, Tess,” she’d said. “I hope Scott will make you very happy. You deserve to have someone take care of you for a change.”
Startled, Tess had almost replied that she was more comfortable taking care of herself, but sensing a rather touching sincerity in her sister’s words, she’d said only, “Thank you, Nina.”
Dinner with Scott’s family could not have been more different. The whole Prince clan had been there, including the twins and baby Henry, all gathered around the big farm table in Holly’s dining room, all talking at once, laughing, teasing, treating Tess as if she was already part of the family. They, of course, had already been aware of the change in Tess and Scott’s relationship, so it was easier for them to process the announcement of their engagement.
“When’s the big day?” Jake had demanded.
“We haven’t set a date,” Scott had replied, squeezing Tess’s thigh beneath the table, “but I’d like for it to be soon.”
“It takes a while to plan a wedding,” Libby had warned. “You have to reserve a space for the ceremony and the reception. Caterers and florists and cake decorators and musicians are often booked well in advance, so as soon as you choose a date, you should start putting down deposits. I have a friend who’s an excellent florist, Tess. I’d be happy to go with you to talk with her, if you like. Bet I can get you a discount.”
“My cousin is a caterer,” Christina had chimed in. “She did our wedding and it was great, wasn’t it, guys? And I’ll get you the number for our videographer and photographer. Jake and I were very happy with their services.”
“I would love to help you with whatever you need from me,” Holly had added eagerly. “I can make calls or address envelopes or anything else you want me to do. And I have a connection with a cake decorator who does some of the most beautiful work I’ve ever seen. I’d be pleased to introduce you to her, though of course I won’t be offended if you decide to use someone else.”
They had all been so excited, so eager to help, yet Tess hadn’t felt at all as if they were trying to take over. They were just making themselves available to her in any way she needed them. She’d found that incredibly sweet.
All in all, it had been a very nice day. So why was she lying awake in the middle of the night, thinking back over the gatherings and trying to analyze why the more thrilled everyone seemed to act about them, the more Scott had seemed to withdraw into himself? Oh, nothing of the sort had shown in his behavior. He’d laughed and conversed as heartily as anyone else at his mother’s table. He’d participated in the discussion of possible wedding venues and teased Tess about hiring an ’80s-revival heavy-metal band for the reception. He’d kissed her good-night with the same heat and hunger that had made their previous embraces so exhilarating and he’d looked genuinely regretful when he’d made himself leave her.
Was she only imagining that he was holding a small part of himself back? Was she mistaken in sensing a tiny kernel of doubt deep inside him—or was that a projection of her own lingering misgivings? It had all happened so fast. She’d been swept along by his enthusiasm for his brilliant idea, his enticing verbal pictures of an ideal future together, her own yearnings and long-suppressed attraction. And now that everything seemed to be settled, now that everyone knew about their plans, now that it would be incredibly awkward to call it all off, now that she couldn’t imagine not marrying Scott—a tiny part of her feared that she’d made a mistake.
With a groan, she punched her pillow again. She really was an idiot.
Maybe she was just tired.
Pulling the covers to her ears, she sank into the bed and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push those silly doubts and foolish fears away. And wondering why she, who almost never cried, felt suddenly on the verge of tears.
* * *
Scott spent most of the following week out of town visiting job sites and attending planning meetings for the new year. Their hectic work schedule prevented them from spending much time together, but they spoke by phone every evening and managed to share a couple of pleasant nights together. By the beginning of Christmas week, both were tired and looking forward to the end of this hectic holiday season. Tess was ready to focus on their future together outside the office, something they’d barely had time to even think about since they’d become so unceremoniously engaged.
The shortened workweek ahead made Monday ridiculously busy in preparation. Wednesday was Christmas Eve, and Scott had announced the offices would close at noon that day and wouldn’t officially reopen until the following Monday, which would also be a short holiday week. If any crises occurred, essential personnel could be called in, of course, but they all hoped the holiday would be problem-free.
The stressful day finally over, she was driving to Stevie’s for a pre-Christmas celebration. But her mind was preoccupied by what had happened that afternoon.
Scott had called an early staff meeting to confirm the week’s schedule. Then he’d wished everyone a merry Christmas as he handed out generous gift cards to an upscale local restaurant. End-of-the-year bonuses were included in their paychecks, but this was a little treat he’d been in the habit of providing on his own behalf for the past few years, telling his employees they deserved a nice night out to relax after working so hard and so loyally for him.
“Before we adjourn,” he’d added, holding out a hand to Tess, “there’s one more announcement I need to make. I’m sure the rumors have already begun and I want you all to hear the news from Tess and me.”
Moistening her lips, Tess had pasted on a confident smile and taken her place at his side. Some of the staff looked puzzled, and she figured they wondered if a promotion or resignation was being announced. A couple others smiled knowingly, which meant the gossip had already made its way to the office.