Looking out the window at the passing holiday decorations, she let her head fall back against the headrest. A song ended and a new one began. She bit her lip when she recognized the opening piano notes to A Great Big World’s “Say Something.” The lyrics expressed the singer’s longing to hear that his love was returned before he gave up on the relationship. He’d have swallowed his pride and followed his lover anywhere, he insisted in audible pain. All he’d needed were the words.
Say something, I’m giving up on you.
Funny. She’d heard this song dozens of times during the height of its popularity. She’d always liked it.
Only now did she fully understand it.
The last mournful note faded away just as Scott parked in the space beside the rental car. She’d have her own car back next week, she thought in relief. It was taking longer than she’d have liked, but that was probably to be expected this time of year.
Her car, at least, could be repaired. Brought back to its original condition, she’d been told, with no one the wiser at a glance to the damage that had been done to it. As for herself—well, maybe the damage wouldn’t be visible at a glance, but she wasn’t sure it would ever be fully repaired.
She and Scott both had their arms full of bags and gifts when they entered her condo. “Just dump it all on the couch,” she said. “I’ll put everything away later.”
He turned to face her, his now empty hands planted on his hips. “All right, Tess. Spill it. What’s wrong? Did someone in my family say something to upset you or make you uncomfortable?”
“Of course not.” Not intentionally anyway. “Your family is wonderful. They were all so gracious to me.”
“Then, what is it?”
She pushed a hand through her hair, her restlessly wandering gaze pausing on the Christmas tree. She hadn’t turned on the tree lights so it was dark, the symbolism not lost on her. Should she wait? Was it horrible of her to do this on Christmas? But no. It would be worse to lie and tell him everything was fine. She and Scott had insisted on honesty from the start.
With her back to him, she slid the beautiful ring from her finger and looked down at it for a moment, struggling for composure. Only when she was sure she had her emotions under control did she turn to him, the ring closed in her fist.
“I asked you once what you would do if I told you I didn’t want to go along with your plan. If I decided I’d rather not marry you.”
His eyes wary, his expression guarded, he nodded. “I remember.”
“Do you remember what you said?”
He nodded again. “I said I would be disappointed but I would do everything I could to put it behind me. I said I wouldn’t let it affect our work relationship or our friendship. We could agree that it had been worth a shot and then go on with our lives just as we’ve been doing for the past six years.”
She swallowed in pain before asking softly, “Do you still think you could do that? Even now?”
“Tess—”
He took a step toward her but she held up her free hand, palm out, and stopped him. “Please answer my question.”
Lifting one hand to squeeze the back of his neck, he gave it a moment’s thought before replying slowly, “I’m not saying it would be easy. As close as we’ve been the past month, as much as we’ve shared—hell, it’d be hard. But yeah, eventually, I could do it. Whatever happened between us, I would do anything I could to make you comfortable at the office, to assure you that your job would not be affected by any personal decision you make about us.”
“And you’d be able to go back to seeing me as your office manager? Your employee?”
Again, a lengthy pause followed her question.
Say something, Scott.
“Yes,” he said finally, the word a knife straight through her heart. “I could get to that point again. It might take a while, but we’re adults, right? It would serve neither of us well to mope about our plans not working out.”
“That’s very...practical of you,” she whispered. “You’ve always been so proud of your ability to compartmentalize your life. I guess that’s part of what has made you so successful in your business.”
She thought back to the end of his previous engagement. How long had it taken him to get over Sharon? A week? A day? She’d thought at the time he’d seemed almost relieved the relationship had ended, freeing him to concentrate again on the business he truly loved. Maybe it would take him a little longer this time.
But maybe not.
“Tess, you’re really confusing me.” He dropped his arm to his side. “I don’t know where this is coming from.”
She took pride in the fact that her eyes were dry when she looked at him. “I’m so very sorry, Scott. I wish I’d understood sooner what I wanted. What I needed. It wasn’t your fault that I let myself get swept up into a fantasy. You did everything you could to warn me. You were nothing but honest with me from the beginning.”
His eyes were wide now. Dark with dawning comprehension. “What are you saying?”