Connor wasn’t up yet, but that didn’t surprise her. She’d gotten up for a glass of water at three that morning and had noticed the light still on beneath his bedroom door. He needed every hour of sleep he would allow himself before the big exam, she thought with a disapproving shake of her head.
She had just filled Alexis’s juice glass when Connor walked into the kitchen, almost hidden behind the gifts he carried. He handed Mia a dozen red roses in a beautiful glass vase. Before she could do more than murmur a surprised thank you, he turned to give Alexis a large white teddy bear that held a big red heart between its stuffed paws.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said, looking at Alexis as he spoke, although Mia could tell he spoke to both of them. “Bet you thought I’d forget.”
Alexis hugged the bear. “He’s so soft. Thank you.”
Mia buried her nose in the fragrant roses. He’d probably given them to her only because he’d gotten something for Alexis, but she was still pleased by the gesture. She loved fresh flowers, and roses were among her favorites. “They’re beautiful. Thank you, Connor.”
“I have something, too.” Clutching the bear, Alexis dashed out of the room.
Mia turned to set the roses on the counter and picked up a small, gold box of chocolates she’d purchased on an impulse when she’d bought a little heart-shaped necklace for Alexis. She’d debated whether to get him anything, not wanting to risk any more mixed signals between them, but it seemed only polite to give him something. She’d figured candies were appropriate without being too ambiguous. And she knew he loved sweets. Eyeing the roses, she was glad she’d given in.
“I bought these for you,” she said, turning to offer him the little box. “I thought you might like a few treats while you’re studying.”
His smile was just a little crooked, the expression in his eyes hard to read. “Thanks, Mia. I’ll enjoy these.”
“Here, Daddy.” Alexis skipped back into the room bearing two large red hearts. “I made one for you and for Mia. We did them at school.”
Accepting her gift, Mia smiled down at the heart bedecked with glued-on white doily, glitter and Alexis’s carefully written “I love you, Mia.” Her throat tight, she glanced at Connor’s Valentine, which read “I love you, Daddy.”
Even knowing the project had been directed by Alexis’s perky teacher, Mia was deeply touched. She would treasure this little paper heart for the rest of her life, she thought as she knelt to kiss Alexis’s soft cheek. “Thank you, sweetie. It’s beautiful.”
Already wearing her necklace with her pajamas, Alexis beamed. “You really like it?”
“I really do.”
“And so do I.” Connor’s voice was just a bit husky when he leaned over to thank Alexis with his own cheek kiss. “It’s the best Valentine I’ve ever gotten.”
Bouncing on her toes, Alexis hugged
her bear. “I like Valentine’s Day.”
“So do I,” Connor said, straightening. And then his expression turned guilty. “I wish I could spend it with you both, but I’m afraid I have to go. I’m going to be working all day in the lab.”
“That’s okay,” Mia assured him. “You need to prepare for your final. Alexis and I have plans for this afternoon, so we’ll get along fine.”
“I’m sure you will,” he murmured, holding her gaze for just a moment. And then he looked at Alexis. “I might be late getting in tonight. You two have a great day, okay? And thanks again for the gifts.”
Still holding the paper heart from his daughter, Mia watched with a dull ache in her chest as he turned and left the room.
Connor could feel the pressure building inside him as each day passed that week. His study group had been putting in long, intense hours preparing for the gross anatomy final while trying to keep up with their other classes. He’d studied with them, with his gross anatomy lab partners, on his own in the library and coffee shops and locked in his room late at night. He’d eaten when he’d remembered, slept in exhausted snatches and walked around in a fog of medical and scientific facts, trying to commit them all to memory.
He didn’t want to question too closely if part of his obsession with schoolwork was to keep him from thinking too much about Mia. If studying at night kept him from thinking about her lying in her own bed only a few yards from his bedroom. Kept him from reliving the feel of heated kisses and soft curves pressed against him.
He might be focused on his education, but he was still a healthy, relatively young male with needs, he thought irritably. The woman he wanted—the woman he loved—was living in the same house with him, doing everything she could to make his life easier. Yet it only seemed to become more complicated the more time he spent with her.
He wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on this way.
More than once during that week he let his thoughts drift back to those easier times a year earlier. And he wondered if he had failed to properly appreciate those carefree, footloose days.
He didn’t know what he would have done without his study group to support him. They, more than anyone in the world, could understand some of what he was going through, because they were faced with similar difficulties in their own lives. Trying to balance the stress of school with the demands of family and other personal responsibilities.
It wasn’t an easy task, which was why medical students were regularly treated to speeches and workshops about dealing with stress and depression without turning to drugs or alcohol or thoughts of quitting or even suicide. Only that week, they’d been informed that a recent study had suggested that as many as eleven percent of all medical students contemplated that ultimate escape during the first two years of training.
While Connor thought he was dealing with the pressure better than that, he certainly understood how despair and panic could set in, especially for students who were struggling and who hadn’t found the emotional support he’d lucked into with his increasingly close-knit study group. And, he admitted, with Mia. Despite his complicated and frustrating feelings for her, he couldn’t have gotten by during the past months without her to take care of Alexis. And him, for that matter. She quietly cooked and cleaned and did laundry and dealt with the day-today issues that had freed him to concentrate on his studies…and he had given her damned little in return.
Guilt swamped him, adding to the weight on his shoulders. After this test, he vowed, he was going to somehow find a way to do more of his share around the house.