Diagnosis: Daddy (Doctors in Training 1)

“I know. But there will still be fewer interruptions without us. I’ll have my cell with me, of course, if you need anything.”

“I’ll be fine.” She hadn’t even mentioned this weekend trip before, he thought with a frown. Had it been something she’d considered earlier—or was she jumping on the excuse to run because of last night? “Have a good time.”

“We will. Thanks. And good luck with your studies.”

Slipping the phone back into its holder on his belt, he turned somberly back to the group gathered around James’s table. His good mood of earlier had just taken a sharp turn back into doubt and insecurity.

Was Mia having regrets today? She’d certainly been fully involved last night, but maybe she was having second thoughts now that she’d had time to think about their actions. Maybe she was afraid that too much had changed between them now, and not necessarily for the better.

“Is everything okay at home, Connor?” Haley asked, looking up at him in concern.

He spread his hands and answered with complete honesty. “I don’t have the faintest clue.”

Ron shook his head in sympathy. “Dude. Glad I’m not in your shoes.”

Haley punched his arm. “Ron!”

“Ow. I’m just saying—”

With a wry smile, Connor slid into his seat. “Let’s just get back to work, okay? Everything will work out for the best somehow.”

He had to keep telling himself that in an effort to make himself believe it.

He studied late into the night Saturday. Because no one was there to disturb, he kept all the lights burning in his house and made no effort to be quiet when he rambled around in the kitchen for snacks and drinks. As it was a little cool in the house, he wore a ragged sweatshirt and fleece pants, but he could be studying in his underwear, if he wanted to, he thought with a wry smile. After all, no one was there to see him.

Leaving dirty dishes in the sink to put away later, he carried a cold can of soda to the table where he was studying. He looked around the empty room for a moment while he took his first sip. Several times during the past few weeks he had remembered what it was like to be on his own, responsible for no one but himself. If he ignored the doll peeking out from a sofa cushion and a coffee mug sitting by the coffeemaker with Mia’s name printed on it, he could almost imagine that he had gone back in time to those solitary bachelor days.

Shaking his head, he reached for a notebook, then frowned when he realized it wasn’t where he’d thought. He must have left it in his room.

Grumbling, he wandered through the living room and down the hallway to his bedroom. He found the notebook on his desk. He looked at his bed on his way out of the room. Would he ever see that bed again without remembering Mia in his arms there? Without wanting to be with her there again?

Turning abruptly, he left the room, then paused again, his gaze turning toward the two bedrooms at the other end of the short hallway. Both doors were open and the rooms beyond were dark. Empty. The silence settled heavily around him and for the first time in his memory, he felt lonely in the little house he’d once considered a cozy refuge.

What if he could go back in time, to those earlier, easier days? What if some quirk of magic or fate gave him that option? Would he choose to place himself on a basketball court with his buddies a year earlier, laughing like an idiot and having nothing waiting for him after the game but a takeout and a stack of papers to grade? Back when Mia had been a comfortable friend to call for a shared movie or pizza and neither of them had worried overly much about their future? Back before anyone had ever called him “Daddy” and expected him to provide shelter and guidance and security?

Would he go back if he could? The mental question seemed to echo in the hushed shadows around him, as if the house itself waited for his answer.

He gave a hard shake of his head and moved toward the kitchen, back to the lecture notes that awaited him. Stress and lack of sleep must be getting to him. It wasn’t like him to be so foolish and fanciful.

“It is what it is,” he muttered, plopping down into his chair again. No going back. No rewriting reality.

Yet even as he opened his book, he knew there was no real doubt what his answer would have been had he been given that impossible choice.

He wouldn’t go back.

Mia found a note from Connor in the kitchen when she and Alexis returned from the weekend at the lake house her family had owned since Mia was a teenager. He would be studying in the lab and with his group until late, the note said. Don’t wait up for him.

Alexis looked disappointed and Mia knew the feeling. “You’ll see him tomorrow. If not in the morning, then after school. His big test will be over then and he’ll have time for you to tell him all about your weekend with Nicklaus and Caroline.”

“Okay.”

“Go put away your things and I’ll make us some dinner. You’ll want to take your bath and get in bed on time tonight because you were up late last night.”

Alexis and Mia’s niece and nephew had lain awake until almost ten giggling and chattering in the two sets of bunk beds set up in what the family referred to as the kids’ room. There were four bedrooms in the rambling cottage, all surrounding a large great room that served as living room and dining room with an open, attached kitchen.

The weekend had been noisy and active and a little chaotic with five adults and three children in the house, playing games, watching sports, taking hikes along the water’s edge and through the nearby woods in the crisp, cool air. It had been exactly what Mia needed. A few days packed too busy for worrying and stewing, surrounded by people who loved her unconditionally and expected nothing from her but love in return.

She turned in early that night. Partially because she was tired, but maybe as a way to avoid facing Connor for a few more hours. She didn’t fall instantly asleep, but lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling until she heard him arrive home just before midnight.