Her eyes burning, she nodded. “I realize that now. It’s occurred to me that I didn’t know whether you could give me what I wanted because I never told you what that was.”
“Name it,” he said huskily.
“I know you need me. I think you even love me,” she murmured.
He reached out to lay his free hand over both of hers. “You should never doubt that.”
“I need to know that you trust me.”
He frowned, looking startled by her whisper. “What are you talking about? Of course I trust you.”
“You trust me as a friend. You trust me with your daughter. Both very important. But do you trust me with your heart?”
“I don’t know what—” He stopped, and she saw awareness come into his eyes.
Still gazing into his eyes, she said quietly, “Alexis isn’t the only one who needs reassurance that someone will always be there. I think you’ve been struggling with the same fears.”
She leaned closer to him, enunciating very clearly. “I’m not Brandy. And I’m not Gretchen. I love you. If you ask me to stay with you, I won’t walk away from you when things get difficult or when I need to find myself.”
His throat worked with a hard swallow. “I know you have plans…”
“Yes, I have plans. I’d like to start working toward a doctorate in American literature within the next year or two. Maybe I’d like to try teaching on a college level eventually. It’s not a burning desire or I’d have started already. I enjoy teaching high school students and I haven’t been in a big hurry to stop. But it’s still my ultimate goal and I have every intention of pursuing it, whether I’m with you or on my own.”
He sighed. “I’m going to be swamped with classes and schoolwork next year, preparing for the Step One exams. For two years after that, I’ll be doing rotations, working and studying long hours. For the next three years after that, I’ll be a medical resident. Long hours, relatively low pay. So for the next six foreseeable years, I don’t know how much I can do to help you with your studies.”
“Can you listen when I vent? Can you encourage me when I doubt myself? Can you celebrate with me when I do well, sympathize when things go wrong?”
“Of course I can do all that, but—”
“That’s all I need from you,” she said steadily. “We’ll have to deal with the logistics of hectic schedules and child care and finances and all the other day-to-day details a busy family encounters. We’ll have conflicts and challenges and victories and disappointme
nts. And through all of that, Connor, I won’t walk away. And I won’t let you walk away either. Not if you tell me right now that you love me and you trust me.”
His hands tightened around hers. “I love you.”
“And—?”
“And I—I trust you.”
“Enough to ask me to stay with you for always?”
“I don’t want you to feel tied down—”
She sighed and asked again, “Do you trust me enough to ask me to stay?”
There was a long pause during which she found it difficult to breathe. Had he been hurt too badly to ever take another risk on love? Was he so focused on his own plans that he just didn’t think he had enough of himself left to give? Could he…?
“Stay, Mia.”
Her heart tripped. “Say that again.”
His smile was so sweet, his eyes so tender that her own filled with tears. “I love you. Stay with me. Be a family with me and Alexis. I’ll be your cheerleader. I’ll be your shoulder to cry on. I’ll be anything you need from me. Just promise you’ll stay.”
“And if I make that promise?” she whispered.
“Then I’ll believe you,” he replied steadily. Confidently. “Just as you can believe that I’m not going anywhere either. You’re my best friend. You always will be.”
With a happy sob, she went into his arms, fitting her smiling lips to his own.