She moistened her lips, fancying she could still taste him. Because she couldn’t make any promises just then about next week—not until she could think clearly again—she merely nodded shortly and turned to let herself out.
She would be back, she thought in resignation as she made the short drive home. The question that nagged at her now was whether the scholarship was still her only reason for spending time with Evan.
She was playing with fire. And terrified that she would be burned again, no matter how hard she tried to protect herself.
* * *
The temperature Saturday evening was cool, but not so cold that the children had to wear coats over the Halloween costumes they’d chosen so carefully. They had both decided to be superheroes this year, so capes and masks and tights had been donned—Daniel in black and electric-blue, Leslie in red and navy. They bounced impatiently while Renae took pictures, then dashed out the door with their plastic, pumpkin-shaped candy pails as soon as Renae gave them permission.
She followed closely behind them as they dashed down the street from door to door. Their little house was on a cul-de-sac in a safe neighborhood, with most of the other houses occupied by young families with children, so almost all the porch lights were on, signaling that trick-or-treaters were welcome. Hanging back, Renae chatted with other parents she knew through their kids. Some of the other parents had dressed in costume, but she had settled for jeans and a black sweatshirt with a Halloween scene on the front.
Daniel soon found his friends, brothers Cooper and Jackson Bishop, who were dressed as police officers. Their dad, Mike, followed behind his sons dressed as a convict in black-and-white stripes and dragging a plastic ball and chain.
Renae smiled at Mike while the kids greeted each other and showed off their costumes. “Looks like you’ve been caught.”
Lightly kicking the plastic ball, Mike laughed. “Yeah. The boys chose our costumes, needless to say. They thought this was real funny.”
“You do look funny, Mr. Bishop,” Leslie said, looking up at him with a giggle.
He scowled ferociously. “I’m supposed to look like a scary convict.”
She giggled again. “You don’t look scary.”
“Come on, Leslie, let’s go,” Daniel ordered impatiently. At a nod from their parents, the twins and the Bishop boys dashed toward the door of a yellow-sided house decorated with white garbage-bag ghosts hanging from the porch.
Mike nodded indulgently after them. “They’re
having a great time, aren’t they? Remember how magical Halloween seemed to be when we were kids? Costumes and make-believe and bags full of candy?”
She had a few fond memories of Halloweens with her cousins. And Jason had loved Halloween, throwing big costume parties every year. He would have so enjoyed taking the twins out trick-or-treating, she thought wistfully. She wanted very much to believe that, despite his mounting reservations in the months before he’d died, he’d have adapted to the demands of fatherhood and what he’d begun to see as the constraints of marriage. He would have fallen in love with the twins, just as she had, and would surely have agreed that no sacrifice was too great for them.
Jason was not like her father, she told herself as she had so many times before when doubts had crept into the back of her mind. He would never have left his children to be raised by others while he was off pursuing his own interests.
“Renae? Did I say something wrong?”
She forced a bright smile for Mike’s benefit. “Of course not. I’m just enjoying watching the kids.”
“Mom, look what we got!” Daniel held up his pumpkin bucket to display his latest candies. “That lady gave us each a whole handful.”
“That was very generous of her,” Renae said gravely.
“C’mon, Daniel, the next house is giving out candy bars!”
Turning in response to Cooper’s urging, Daniel dashed after the other children to the next house.
Renae glanced up at Mike with a wry smile. “We spend most of their lives trying to limit their sweets and teach them healthy eating habits, then one night a year we let them gather as much candy as they can carry.”
Mike laughed. “Theresa and I agreed that the boys get two pieces of candy a day until it’s gone. I keep part of it at my place and they take the rest to hers. They eat all their favorite stuff first and forget about the rest, which we finally throw out.”
Renae admired the way Mike and his ex maintained cordial relations for the sake of their sons. He really was a nice man. And he’d been flirting with her since the party at Janet’s house. She had no doubt that she had only to give him a subtle hint and he would ask her out. But nice as he was, she had no interest at all in giving that sign.
She really was an idiot.
They walked together during the remainder of the leisurely outing, Renae following a few steps behind when Mike teased and carried on with the kids. Daniel obviously loved the attention from his friends’ dad. Daniel was at the age when he needed interaction with men, something Renae tried her best to provide through Tae Kwon Do lessons and playdates with friends whose fathers made time to play with them.
The final stop was the house next door to Renae’s. Widowed sisters Daisy Sinclair and Maxine Whelan, both in their early seventies, had moved in there a couple years earlier and had become fast friends with Lucy, though the sisters were several years older than her. The three women played dominoes every Thursday evening, which was Lucy’s equivalent of Renae’s “mom’s evening out.”
Daisy had a forty-something son serving overseas in a diplomatic post; Maxine had no children. Having no grandchildren of their own, both of them loved the twins and spoiled them shamelessly.