She drew her coat more snugly around her. “I’m sure that’s not the way you’re accustomed to spending your evenings.”
“No,” he admitted. “I’m accustomed to spending my evenings sitting on the couch by myself in front of the TV and wishing you were there with me.”
That didn’t encourage her. “But I can only be there one night a week, occasionally two. And when you come here, you have to run the gamut of Lucy’s dirty looks and the kids and the dog climbing all over you, and you and I barely have time to exchange a few words.”
“That will surely get better once everyone’s used to having me around.”
“I can’t blame you if you aren’t in any hurry to repeat the experience,” she said, thinking that despite what he said, he must have more interesting ways to spend his time.
“If tonight was a test, I think I passed,” he said, an edge to his voice. “I’m not running, Renae. I’m not looking for excuses to avoid future family dinners. I’m not even angry with your mother-in-law for doing everything she can to sabotage this relationship. Frustrated, maybe, but not angry. I don’t scare off that easily.”
“It wasn’t a test,” Renae muttered, noting his use of the relationship word.
“Maybe it’s time you start having a little faith in me, Renae. I knew when we started seeing each other that you have obligations. Your kids, your job, your mother-in-law who would be perfectly happy for everything to stay exactly the same for the rest of her life. If all I wanted was an easy affair, I’d be content with the occasional Wednesday evening with you. Maybe that was all I wanted, at first. But maybe you’ve noticed I’m the one who’s been pushing for more lately.”
She bit her lip.
He stroked his thumb across her mouth, easing her lip from between her teeth. “I’m not going anywhere, Renae. Not unless you’ve grown tired of me. In that case, I’ll stay away.”
Her long sigh was visible in the air between them. “I don’t want you to stay away. I just—”
—don’t know why you want to keep coming back, she completed silently.
The kiss he gave her then was partially an answer. He drew back slowly, smiling down at her in a way that revealed little of his thoughts. “Thanks for dinner. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
She lifted a hand in a wave as his truck disappeared from sight. Only then did she turn back toward the house. Her hands deep in the pockets of her coat, she stood for a moment studying the lighted windows behind which waited her family.
Maybe Lucy wasn’t the only one who had been clinging to the status quo. The question was, how could she make sure the changes she made would make their lives better? Renae knew there were no guarantees in life—but when she was being pulled in so many directions, it would be nice to have some sort of sign about what would bring the least chance of disappointment. For all of them.
* * *
It didn’t snow often in Central Arkansas. Once, sometimes twice in a winter, they would see measurable accumulation, generally less than four inches. When snow did cover the ground, most activity in the area ground to a halt because of lack of snow removal equipment. Grocery shelves emptied, schools closed, even many businesses closed for a day or two until the snow melted.
The twins were delighted to wake up on the last Friday morning in January to find the ground hidden beneath a rare blanket of snow, with more still falling. Up to six inches were predicted to accumulate by the end of the day. Renae didn’t even have to check the local morning news to know that school was dismissed, but it was habit to tune in. The snowfall was the leading story that morning with school closings running continuously across the bottom of the screen.
Her phone rang early with a call from Ann to inform her that there was no need for her to come to work that day. “Stay home with your kids,” she urged. “We’re not expecting many patients to show up today anyway, and there’s nothing that can’t wait until Monday. Cathy lives close enough to get to the office easily and she said she can handle the desk today.”
Because she hadn’t been looking forward to slipping and sliding her way across the river along with the other local drivers who had little experience with snow, Renae accepted the offer gratefully.
“Looks like we’ll all be home today,” she said, setting her phone aside.
The twins did celebratory dances at the breakfast table while Lucy turned from the stove and smiled. “Yay!” Leslie exclaimed. “Will you play outside with us, Mama?”
“Can we build a snowman?” Daniel wanted to know. “There’s enough snow for a snowman, isn’t there?”
“We should be able to build a snowman,” Renae conceded with a laugh, predicting a cold, wet mess on the kitchen floor later. She didn’t care. The kids would have a great time frolicking in the snow, which meant she would have fun, as well. She hadn’t quite outgrown her own delight in the rare sight of the clean, glittering white blanket draped over the outdoors, and the falling snowflakes dancing in the air.
Stirring oatmeal, Lucy said, “We’ll have hot cocoa later. And maybe I’ll make snow cream. I used to make that for your daddy when we had enough snow. He loved it. It’s like homemade ice cream made with snow.”
The twins grinned at each other in shared anticipation of winter fun.
Renae’s phone rang again and she murmured an apology at this second interruption. “Good morning, Evan,” she answered.
Lucy clattered her spoon against the pot of oatmeal she was scooping into bowls.
Hearing Evan’s name, Daniel spoke urgently. “Tell him to come build a snowman with us. Okay, Mom, please?”
“I’ll take this in another room,” she said, avoiding Lucy’s frown. “I’ll be right back,” she promised.