He grinned. “It’s getting late.”
Late. “Oh.” She pressed her eyes shut. Late as in she’d be turning into a wolf soon, not losing her virginity.
“I’ll be with you,” he said, still lying on top of her.
She didn’t open her eyes. “Okay.” She wanted him close, but she suspected his presence wouldn’t make it hurt less.
“Olivia?” He was worried; she could hear it in his voice.
She opened her eyes, staring up at him. “Were you sleeping on top of the blankets?” The thick comforter she was covered with was squished between them, effectively pinning her beneath him—and separating them.
“Thought it would be a good idea.” His hand smoothed the hair from her forehead.
“Because I might attack you in my sleep?” She frowned. Ellen’s warning worried her more than the pain of the shift. She knew she’d survive that; she’d seen Mal do it. But she’d never be able to live with herself if she hurt someone else.
“No.” Mal slid off her, sitting at the edge of the bed. “Because I might attack you.”
She rolled her eyes, sitting up. “You’re hilarious.”
He stood, running a hand over his face. “I wasn’t trying to be.” He looked at her, the hunger in his eyes making her breathless. “I want you so damn bad. I think about the way you felt, hot and tight around my fingers. How you taste. Watching you come.” His voice was hard, almost angry. He stared at her, his gaze devouring her mouth, his jaw muscle working. “I can’t lose control with you.”
Olivia’s insides melted. She throbbed, his words pricking sweetly at the end of every single nerve. Memories crashed in of his scent, his mouth, and tongue. She blew out a deep breath, gripping the comforter in both hands. “Why?”
“I’m trying to be the good guy,” he bit out.
“Don’t be,” she begged. “Please.”
His nostrils flared. “Stop.”
She kicked the blankets aside, her frustration mounting. “Stop?” She tugged Jessa’s borrowed gown into place. “Stop what? Responding? Aching? It’s you. You did this”—she pointed to herself—“to me. You made me crave things I never wanted before. You look at me and kiss me and say things that—Oh God—make me burn. You touch me and it’s all I want. I don’t know how to stop this. Don’t tell me to stop. I don’t want to.”
“Fuck.” He ran a hand over his face. “Tonight, you need to focus on shifting, that’s all. You’re right—this is my fault. I know better, and I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“If you apologize, I will bite you,” she snapped.
His jaw clenched, his hands flexing at his sides.
“Tonight. When I’m a wolf…” she clarified, stunned by his reaction. He wanted her to bite him? Not the response she’d expected.
“Relax. Being angry or upset can make it harder to shift.”
“Harder? As in more painful?” she asked.
He nodded.
She’d try not to be upset if he’d stop looking at her mouth and acting like it was taking 100 percent of his concentration not to toss her onto the bed and do everything she wanted him to do. Of course, she could be reading him wrong, and he was just mad. But she’d seen Mal mad plenty of times, and this was different. Having him look at her that way was amazing, empowering, and frustrating. “Then you stop,” she muttered.
He frowned. “What?”
“Looking at me like that.” She hugged herself. “If you’re not going to throw me on the bed and do what we both really, really want”—her voice broke—“you need to stop looking at me like that’s what you want to do.”
A sharp knock on the door made them both jump. “Get ready,” Finn said.
Olivia stared at the door then at Mal. He’d recovered. He didn’t look like he wanted to jump her now, he looked worried. She preferred the other. “What do I do? What should I bring?” Her head was spinning now, the reality of what was about to happen slowly sinking in.
“Nothing,” he said, finally closing the distance between them. “We go to the woods, you shift.”
“With Finn?” she asked, nervous.