Curious (The Finn Factor 1)

“He makes me forget how to breathe.” He could say that much and not give Owen away. “Makes me forget all the reasons I should hold back. He touches me and I’m willing to do anything he wants as long as he doesn’t stop. As long as he stays.”

“Well slap my ass and call me Lucy,” she breathed. “You sound like you’re falling.”

He shifted uncomfortably. “Let’s finish that sentence with in lust. I’m definitely falling in lust.”

“Fine. I’ll give your lusty lover another week to get over his shyness and then I want to meet him. I promise I won’t scare him away or suggest a threesome. Not until I know him better.”

“You’re a doll.”

Tasha laughed at his arid tone. “I am! And I’m happy for you, Jeremy. You need some of this in your life. Someone who makes you feel like this. I’ll tell you a secret. In our small menagerie of kinky, oversexed friends, I always thought you were the one who’d be happiest in a monogamous relationship.”

“Really? The bisexual you like to have three-ways with? I’m the one who’d be happy with monogamy? You know I don’t do that, Tasha. You’re wrong. I’m not built for it.”

“Yes you are,” she insisted. “You have the right heart for it, and somewhere in that thick skull of yours you must know it, otherwise you wouldn’t guard it so closely. When you really fall in love, it will be for keeps, and that is the scary, unadulterated truth.” She paused. “I said almost the same thing to Seamus about Owen not too long ago. Leave it to me to befriend the two lustiest, relationship-phobic men on the planet.”

Why was she mentioning Owen? Had she guessed? “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’ve only been seeing this guy for a few days, and I’m not planning on getting married anytime soon. I don’t even have a dog. We should see if I can handle that kind of commitment first.”

After they hung up, Jeremy had gone back to work, but now he went over the conversation again. A few things stuck out in his mind.

First, she’d slept with a Finn brother—and not the one who’d been playfully after her on and off since high school, but one of his siblings. Jeremy couldn’t help but wonder how Owen would feel about that and if he should tell him. If they weren’t together, he wouldn’t be tempted. That was Tasha’s story to tell, not his.

Then there was the fact that she’d turned Owen down all this time because of him. Somewhere, some part of him must have known that, but Jeremy was still surprised. Even when it seemed like an impossible crush, she’d silently been on his side. What would she say if she knew what Owen had asked for on his birthday? That he was the one Jeremy was hiding from her?

He hadn’t kept the secret just because Owen told him to. He wasn’t that far gone. He’d kept it because he was still pretty sure that other shoe was going to drop at any minute, and he didn’t want her pity when Owen moved on, found the perfect woman for the Finn family to embrace and forgot all about that one short episode when he couldn’t get enough of seeing Jeremy on his knees.

He looked around his house and sighed. This was a family home. The real estate agent had said as much. Sure, he’d turned one bedroom into a workout space and another into his office, but it was still too big to live in alone. He’d never thought so before. He’d relished the space, his room to breathe. His aunt’s place had been the size of his bedroom closet. This house…well, it reminded him a little of the sprawling Finn homestead.

Now it all seemed excessive. It wasn’t like he ever planned on having children, and not just because it was difficult to imagine finding someone he could spend the rest of his life with. His parents had screwed up his head by demanding a refund when their child didn’t work the way they wanted him to. That was their legacy to him, and he didn’t want to take the chance of passing it on.

He sighed. “Maybe I should get a dog.”

Sliding open the patio door, he headed down the balcony stairs toward the water, thankful most of his neighbors were the holiday kind. The sun had gone down an hour ago, so even if they were visiting, they wouldn’t be able to see much. He stripped as he walked out onto the dock and dived in without hesitation when he reached the edge.

The lake was the only place he ever felt at peace. It was the reason he’d bought this house. The water lapped against him in a soothing caress as he pushed himself a little deeper, a little farther out. Nothing could touch him here. Not his memories or his doubts. Not his fears about his feelings. He held his breath and let the water wash it away.