Bang (Club Deep #3)

I laugh under my breath. “No. And I already cleaned the studio.”

She shrugs, “Oh well. They’ll all be back for Thanksgiving family photos.”

“Won’t that be fun.”

Sandra swats me lightly on the arm, but she’s laughing. “Well, at least we’ll try to make it fun.”

We both know that holiday family photos are the worst. Half the family doesn’t want to be there and it’s hell trying to get them all to smile and have their eyes open at the same time. But I stay here because Sandra pays me well and gives me plenty of time to pursue my own photography goals. She pokes her head over my shoulder. “What are you doing?”

I blush, trying to close the window before she can read, but she starts to laugh loudly. A laugh that I’ve only heard a few other times, filling up the studio. “I knew you hadn’t had any in a while, but I didn’t think that’s the way you’d do it. Good for you.”

“Good?” I’m trying to ignore the burning in my cheeks.

“Of course! You think I’m going to judge you for that? If you knew what went on when I was younger you’d be redder than you are now.”

This isn’t happening. I close the browser window and pretend that I’m buried in a hole where no one can see me. “Spare me those details, please.”

Sandra waggles her eyebrows. “I don’t know, maybe it would give you some ideas.”

A stab of pain goes through me. She’s right. I’m not that interesting a person, not that talented, not that beautiful. It’s one of the reasons I left Aguila. I was exactly what everyone said I was—completely average and on track to stay there and do nothing and be nobody. Just like Catherine said on the phone, I’m probably going to end up alone. But just for tonight, I thought it would be fun to imagine what a man like Hudson would see in me. I didn’t lie to Catherine, I am happier here in the city, and I have ambition. I want to be a successful photographer, and I love that Sandra is helping me with that goal. But she’s not wrong, I’m not a person that would do something crazy like this. Or at least I wasn’t until I spilled coffee on a ridiculously handsome man named Hudson.

“Sandra,” I say, “This is embarrassing.”

“Sweetie, at my age, nothing is embarrassing. Throw me a bone.”

I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. “I…ran into a man this morning,” I say. “He mentioned this club.”

She grins, “And you want to go see him?”

“Yeah...”

“Good for you, girl,” she says. “It’s a costume party?”

I laugh nervously. “Yes. But I think there might be more lingerie than actual costumes.”

“Ooh,” she smirks. “Sounds fun. Maybe I’ll buy a ticket.” The look on my face must be horrified because she starts laughing again. “I’m just kidding, dear. I’m too old for all that. Well, I’m not, but I understand why you wouldn’t want to go to a sex party with your boss.”

“I mean…I’m not going to stop you,” I say nervously.

Sandra rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry. I have no plans to infringe on your sexy time.”

“Oh,” I hold out a hand, “I don’t plan on—I’m not going to—” my breath is shallow in my chest, and the words come out in a whisper, “have sex. I just think it would be fun, intriguing, to see what one of these things is like.” The thought of going to this and actually having sex is overwhelming and embarrassing. Even if Hudson did call me beautiful…

Sandra raises an eyebrow. “So… you’re telling me you bought a ticket to a party you would never normally go to, to see a man you’ve only just met, and you’re not going to fuck him?” Blood flames in my cheeks again and she nods like she’s gotten a confirmation. Oh, God. Next time I need to do my research at home. I love Sandra but this isn’t something I want to talk about with her. “Keep telling yourself that, dear. But when the time comes, I hope you get some.” She glances at her watch. “We’re not going to have any walk-ins at this point. Go get yourself something sexy.”