“I wish I were.” At the dark look that crossed Josh’s face, she realized her mistake. “Not that I still wish I was with Marty, no. Not at all. Us getting a divorce was probably the best thing we ever did for my sanity.” She blew out a harsh breath, hating that she rambled. “It’s just…I was supposed to have Kyle and Chandler for the holidays and he sprang this on them as a surprise. I mean, how could I say no? Their father is taking them to Hawaii and he’s getting married. This is an important moment in their lives, right? I can’t deprive them of a fun vacation and the welcoming of their new stepmother.”
“Min…” Josh started but she cut him off with a look.
“Don’t feel sorry for me or think I’m sad because Marty’s already moved on and I’m still in love with him or whatever. That is so not the case here. I’m glad he’s moved on. I wish I could say I regret marrying him but then that would mean I regret having my boys and I definitely don’t feel that way.” She smiled but it felt brittle, so she turned back to her cutting board. “I just wish he hadn’t moved so fast, you know? I miss my boys. I didn’t have them last Christmas either.”
Mindy breathed deep, desperate to keep her emotions under control. It was amazing how life could change so quickly. She went from being the quintessential mom with the Christmas decorations everywhere to the bah-humbug scrooge who hadn’t bothered with even putting up a tree last year.
This year, she’d gone all out, believing she’d have her sons to indulge in. Now that had been taken away from her. Again.
And she really hated Marty for doing that.
“Hey.” Warm, capable hands settled on her shoulders and she flinched, startled that Josh had approached her so quietly and she hadn’t noticed. “I know you miss them and they mean the world to you. This must be tough.”
“Very,” she croaked, sniffing. No way would she cry in front of Josh. She refused. It was bad enough how she looked right now. She really hoped he didn’t think she still missed Marty because that was the farthest thing from the truth.
Josh squeezed her shoulders, his touch reassuring. “You can have a second Christmas with them when they come back, right? I’m assuming they didn’t get a chance to open up their presents from you?”
She nodded, pressing her lips together. That wasn’t a bad idea.
“So just hold onto the Christmas spirit I see all over your house until they get back. They’ll be thrilled, getting not just one but two Christmases out of the holiday. Gotta look for the bright side, you know?”
A smile tickled the corners of her mouth. “Thank you. I needed the pep talk.”
“Anytime,” he murmured just before he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and went back to his bar stool.
Leaving her shocked and completely frozen.
Chapter Three
Dinner had been good despite her nerves and wanting to impress him. She’d known Josh what felt like her entire life, yet he had her so twisted up in knots it was ridiculous. She thought she was stronger than this. A grown woman shouldn’t be nervous and fluttery just because the man she’d stupidly rejected oh so long ago was now back in her life, in her house, stuck with her for who knew how many hours and she couldn’t get her stuff together?
It was foolish. And if it was happening to someone else, she might even find it cute.
But considering it was happening to her, she didn’t find anything cute about it whatsoever. Josh Powers unnerved her. With his big, burly chest and really nice forearms. Forearms he’d put on perfect display when he shoved up his sleeves and helped her wash dishes. What sort of man helped wash dishes?
When she’d asked Josh where he learned such efficient dishwashing skills, he’d laughed and said the fire station. No one was off the hook there. They all had to share their chores equally.
She couldn’t help but admire him. He’d done something with his life, something good and heroic. He’d worked his way up the ranks and was now an arson investigator. How cool was that? And what had she done?
Stayed home and taken care of her kids and husband. She had no career, nothing to be proud of beyond two pretty great sons she could brag about.
Frowning, she rinsed the pot she used to make the pasta. Raising her boys was a major accomplishment. She’d done it without much help on Marty’s part, either, since he’d always been out of town for so-called work. More like trysts with the girlfriends he had on the side.
“What’s up with the frown?” Josh asked, his deep voice breaking through her thoughts. He had a nice voice. She wondered what it sounded like if he might whisper in her ear right before he kissed her. “I remember you used to hate washing dishes when we were kids, too.”
She laughed, unable to hold it back. Heck, she was glad she didn’t hold it back. It felt good to laugh. To feel happy and carefree. Too much sadness had happened in her life this past year and she was sick of it.
“You know I hate how the water always wrinkles up my hands,” she joked, halfway meaning it.
“Such a diva,” he teased, nudging her shoulder with his.
She nudged him back, trying to ignore the flight of butterflies fluttering around inside her stomach. Having him so close, feeling his body heat, made her nervous—in a good way. “Give me a break. I had to wash a lot of dishes back in the day, what with that big family of mine and people always hanging around wanting to eat dinner with us. Like you.”
“Hey, it was fun hanging out at your house. Patrick was one of my best friends. So were you,” he said nonchalantly, but his words were like a physical blow.
They had been best friends. He’d done all the g
uy stuff with Patrick and sometimes even Cam, but with Mindy, Josh really talked to her. They went on walks together, bike rides around the lake. They liked the same TV shows and movies, so he’d come over almost every weekend with a couple of rentals in hand.