“There’s not much to tell.” Oh, there was, but she didn’t want to rub it in.
“Liar. Mom said she ran into you two with the kids at the grocery store last night. I’m assuming Lexi is feeling a little more accepting about the whole thing?”
“She is. Sort of.” Lexi mostly just treated Chris politely. “What did Mom say?”
“Um, that you seemed happy and Chris had this look on his face like he was dumb in love.”
“She did not.” Oh, goodness. In her mother’s mind, she probably already had them married by now. “He’s not in love with me. We’re taking it slow.”
“Slow as in he’s hanging out with you and your kids night after night and sneaking out of the house at four in the morning?” Mindy arched a brow. “I think it’s sort of hot. How he sneaks out like a thief in the night.”
“I don’t want him there when the kids wake up. It might be a shock to them,” Jane defended. “You act like we’re doing this every night. He only stays over twice a week, tops.”
Okay, she lied. He’d stayed over three nights that last week. The more time he spent at her house, with her children, the more at ease they all seemed with each other. It touched her heart, to see Chris play with Sophia, read a book to Logan, tease Lexi gently until she finally laughed. Slowly earning her children’s trust had earned her trust.
And eased Chris into her heart.
“That’s because he works long shifts. If he didn’t have to stay at the station, I have a feeling you two would be together constantly.” Mindy smiled, the first smile Jane had seen since she arrived. “I think it’s cute.”
“It makes me nervous.”
“What, him sneaking around? Don’t want anyone to catch wind of your relationship? Trust me, they’re already talking.”
Jane knew they were, and that part didn’t bother her. Too much. “No, the so-called relationship between Chris and me. I don’t know what’s going on.”
“What do you mean?”
“I…I don’t know his intentions.” Jane waved a hand as if dismissing her feelings. “It sounds ridiculous, but I don’t know what he wants from me and it’s scary. He acts like this is serious, but what if it’s not? What if he ends up breaking my heart? He doesn’t do relationships. He told me that himself.”
“So you can’t just go along for the ride and have some fun? Personally, that sort of thing sounds wonderful.” Mindy made a face. “Damn his hide, I’m still not over Marty.”
“Of course you’re not. No one expects you to be, either.” Worry filled Jane and she shook her head. “I shouldn’t be over Stephen.”
“What are you talking about? Who says?”
“I say. Don’t you think it’s wrong, how fast I’ve gotten involved with someone else?” This is what ate her up at night, made her worry, made her feel guilty. She’d lived and he’d died. She’d moved on, and if he were still here, they’d be married.
“Stephen’s been gone for two years. No one doubts you loved him, but come on, Jane. Haven’t you suffered enough? Wouldn’t Stephen have wanted you happy? Life goes on. And trust me, Chris is a keeper.”
“You think so?” She didn’t know if he was a keeper. Mac, out of brotherly love and protection, had warned her just last week that Chris was the type who didn’t do commitment. Some sort of lone wolf with a crappy childhood and neglectful parents. Chris had proclaimed more than once to Mac that he didn’t need anybody to make his life complete. She’d known this, picked up on hints and similar stories from Chris, but hearing it from Mac frightened her. Everything did. She was a big scaredy-cat mess.
“Well, I thought he was a keeper. You don’t think so?” Mindy looked concerned.
“I don’t know what to think.” If she kept talking like this, she’d confuse Mindy almost as much as she confused herself.
“Aren’t you maybe thinking about this a bit much? You’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks.”
And Jane was already more than halfway in love with him. She’d never been one to linger or worry over her feelings. Once she knew, she knew. And the more time she spent with Christian, the more she fell for him. He was dangerous to her heart and her mind and her well-being. In a good, free-fall sort of way.
“I know how I feel. I wish I knew how he feels,” Jane said firmly.
“Maybe he doesn’t know. Men usually don’t like to be pushed.” Mindy made a little tsking sound. “I found that out the hard way.”
Jane knew this. Of course she knew it, had lived it with Stephen. She’d pushed him into a corner more than once and he’d pushed back, usually over the stupidest things. “You’re right.” She shook her head. “I’m being ridiculous. Melodramatic. I think it’s the holidays; they bring out the crazy in people.”
“You can say that again. I’m so not looking forward to Christmas. I know Mom is going to make me nuts.”
“You don’t even have a tree,” Jane pointed out.