“Anything,” he vowed.
“I want your secrets.”
“My what?” His stomach jumped. What could she mean?
“Your secrets, Camden. Why you don’t like crowds. The affliction you referred to the last time we were together. When I look at you I see a strong, handsome man. A brave man who gives willingly to those who depend on you, though I must admit you lack in regards to social skills. But that’s nothing that cannot be worked on.”
He chuckled and she continued. “Yet when you describe yourself, you tend to find everything about you completely lacking. You call yourself weak and unworthy. I don’t believe that. I’ve never believed that. So what happened to you that makes you say such a thing? Believe such a thing?”
The moment had come. It was time for him to confess all.
Hopefully she wouldn’t run screaming from his study when he was finished.
Chapter Ten
Daphne waited for Camden to say something, anything. The longer he remained silent, the more she believed he wasn’t going to say a word. Disappointment flooded her and she hung her head. If he couldn’t trust her now, when could he ever?
“My father…” He cleared his throat and she glanced up, saw the agony etched all over his handsome face. “My father wasn’t a very kind man. And I was a rather timid child. I was his only child and a constant disappointment in his eyes.”
She thought of Camden as a young boy, sweet and shy. And hurting from the tongue-lashing his father most likely gave him.
“I had a hard time speaking. It was difficult for me to get my words out. And when I became more nervous, it became worse.” Shame washed over his face. “I stuttered. I s-stuttered and tripped over every word. Sometimes I couldn’t even get the words out and it drove my father mad. He thought I was an idiot. T-told me I wasn’t worthy of being his son, of inheriting his title. His title, he called it. I didn’t want it.”
“Oh, Camden…” Daphne started, but he cut her off with a look.
“He died and I became Hartwell. I despised the name. Despised the title, hated everything that came with it. It became so blasted difficult for me to move amongst society that I avoided everyone. And rightfully earned my reputation as the aloof, arrogant Hartwell. They started calling me ‘Black Hart,’ for they believed I had one. I th-thought the inaccurate assumption better than the truth, so I never protested.”
Her heart nearly broke. That he’d closed himself off so efficiently, would rather walk amongst society with a horrid reputation rather than have them know the truth, was incredibly sad. The true Black Hart had been his father.
Daphne wondered if Camden knew he wasn’t to blame for his father’s horrible treatment.
He released a shuddering breath. “So there’s my secret. I can hardly speak when amongst a large crowd. Even a small crowd. Hence the reason I don’t bother to talk to anyone. I’m afraid I’ll make an utter fool of myself in front of them if I do. Heaven forbid I make a mistake before the ton. The gossip would spread so fast, I would be the laughingstock of London.”
What he spoke of was true, but she was sure it still hurt him to admit it. “You shouldn’t care what they think. Remember what I told you? You’ll spend so much time worrying about what they might think of you, you’ll waste your life doing so.”
“I wish I didn’t care what they think, but I can’t help it. Their opinion matters. It will always matter. And so does yours,” he confessed, his voice soft, his gaze cast downward.
She studied his bent head, his dark hair, and a thick lock fell across his forehead. He looked like a young boy about to be punished. Her heart ached for him.
Daphne approached him, reaching out so she could place her hand on his forearm. His worried brown eyes met hers and she squeezed his arm gently. Wishing she could convey just how deeply she felt for him. “I would never judge you for the challenges you face. I still believe you a brave man. My opinion hasn’t changed.”
She swore she saw relief brighten his eyes. “What I’ve done to you is the most horrid thing a man could do to the woman he—cares about. Though it was a complete mistake on my part, I can understand your anger.”
Her heart leaped so high she swore she felt it lodge in her throat. “You truly care for me?”
He exhaled loudly. “I know it’s quick. You’ll probably think me quite ridiculous, for we’ve not known each other for very long but…yes. I believe we are quite compatible.”
She smiled saucily. “I’ll say.”
His cheeks flushed though his eyes danced. As if he, too, was reminded of their one wonderful night together. “I believe I would relish growing old together, if I may say so.”
Her heart softened. Her entire body liquefied at his stupendous revelation. So she gave him what he’d asked for. “I forgive you, Camden.”
They moved toward each other in the same moment and he wrapped his strong arms around her, drawing her into his protective embrace. She held him tightly, rested her head against his chest, the steady beating of his heart beneath her ear. She’d never felt so thankful.
“No woman has ever paid me much attention before,” he admitted quietly into her hair.
She smiled and nuzzled closer. “Then they are all blind fools. And I consider myself incredibly lucky. Their loss is my gain.”