His grin spread, this time reaching his eyes. “Carry on like this and I’ll have to rethink my earlier assessment of you.”
I knew I shouldn’t ask. I knew that I was playing straight into his hands, but I couldn’t help it. “Which was?”
He leaned down, crowding me with his large, muscular body, his familiar scent tickling my nose and turning reasonable thought to mush. Reaching out, he fingered a stray curl, giving it a gentle tug. “That you were sweet and innocent.”
A strangled sound burst out of my mouth. “I don’t know what gave you that impression.” Unfortunately, my voice sounded all breathy and weak, not the sharp, snappy comeback I’d been aiming for.
“Don’t worry, you’ve educated me.”
What did he mean by that? “Astrid leaving really screwed you up, didn’t it?”
He flinched, his jaw grinding. “In more ways than one.”
“Does she know?”
His gaze lingered on me, then he strode over to the window. “No, and I would never burden her. This is my guilt, not hers.”
Giving him his space, I made my way over to the couch, settling down and tucking my feet up. “Because you didn’t stop her from leaving?”
His posture stiffened, and I wished that I could see his face. “Because I didn’t stand up for her when she needed me.”
“You were young—”
“I was the new Alpha; she was my sister. She ran—not only from the clan—but from me too. I failed her. There was no excuse,” he growled, his shoulders hunching and his hands hardening into fists.
He was hurting, but was too proud to ask for help. Or accept it. “You’re too hard on yourself.”
Minutes passed and I was starting to think he hadn’t heard me, then he rolled his shoulders back and made his way over to his usual chair. Gripping the tall back, he stroked a finger across the spotted fabric, tracing the raised bumps with a deliberate precision that hinted at his hidden turmoil. “Which box are you going to tick?”
Drawing my eyebrows together, I replied, “I don’t think that’s what we should be…” At the look on his face, my voice trailed off.
“You want to fix me, but you can’t. You can fix what’s wrong with my clan, though. Give me a chance to do right by them.”
And what about you? What will you do? The questions rested on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t give them life. “You were never an addict, were you?”
He tilted his head, looking past me and over my shoulder. “Probably not, it’s hard to tell. I enjoyed the buzz. The high. I’m the kind of man who enjoys things that make me feel good. Is that enough of an answer?”
“Why did you pretend to be?”
“What should I have told Astrid? The truth? It was easier this way.”
“But … she could read your mind!” I blurted out. It was there, in the file. Astrid was a Seer—a green dragon—gifted with the power to read minds and see the future.
“What I wanted her to read. We’re siblings, cut from the same DNA. My dragon might have been silver, but I’m an alpha and her brother.”
Might have been. He’d already given up.
“Faye, you should know, I will do anything to protect my clan, including lying if I have to.”
“Is that all?” I injected a good dose of sarcasm into my voice, but underneath it all, I could understand. He’d do anything for those he loved, what more could anyone ask?
“Pretty much.”
“What would you have done with the money if you’d have won?”
He paused, as if not sure whether to share, but then his low voice filled the room, “Among other things, the clan needs a school for our children. At the moment all our children either bus to a neighboring clan, or are homeschooled. If I could provide a means for a stable education, future generations would be better equipped to deal with this new world that we live in. Families would grow and the clan could expand. Businesses would prosper because the workforce would be plentiful and innovative. The circle of life, sweetheart.”
His quiet statement rocked me in it’s simplicity. He had been looking forward, contemplating a future in which the clan members weren’t as reliant on the Alpha family as in olden times. Social and economic growth. I now knew exactly what to do with the small surplus of Astrid’s money that I hadn’t managed to allocate.