Secret Italian Prince's Baby

"I thought you guys offered free beer."

"Yes, but that's later. We'll be here for about an hour before we go to The Woolshed."

"I can come back." I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Nah, we'll just go downstairs and have a chat."

The two people who'd been downstairs walked in at that moment.

"Could you give us a few minutes? I need to explain to them how we do things."

"Yeah...should I sit over here?"

"Sit wherever you want. We won't be long."

I tuned out as a remixed version of Despacito came on over the speakers. There was a heavier beat and it was faster, like a club version. It wasn't with Justin Bieber.

I thought about using the bathroom, and they didn't want me around yet, so I waved goodbye as I walked out the door. "I'll be back," I promised.

I walked downstairs and into the night. I tried to find a public toilet, since I knew that there were signs pointing to them, but I couldn't find one. I eventually walked up to a hostel's front desk. She told me to walk down Wilshire and keep going. As I walked down, I realized there were no streets called Wilshire. So I went back to the party.

I saw the first girl, who was downstairs smoking and talking to a girl who looked like an angel, since she was dressed in white and pretty much looked like she had a halo on. "There are more people upstairs now. I'll be up in a minute."

"Great," I said. I walked upstairs. As she'd said, there were about five other people upstairs. I walked down the hallway and saw that there were single unisex bathrooms, one for each company. There was a guy cleaning them up, but they were all locked. I walked up to one of the coordinators and asked, "Could I possibly get into your bathroom?"

"Sure thing," she said. She went behind the counter and looked at the key rings. "There should be a purple key here, but I can't see it. I'll go downstairs and ask."

"Right." I stood behind a pillar and felt like the most awkward person in the history of the world. The women were dressed to kill with wide expanses of cleavage and long, bare legs. I was dressed like a nun, no cleavage, no bare skin showing on my legs. I was overdressed for clubbing and partying.

I went and stood next to the staircase, waiting for someone to figure out where the key was. When she finally came up the stairs, she said, "Sorry, we don't have the key. Is it urgent?"

"Um..." I hesitated. "Is there somewhere else I could go to the bathroom?"

"You can walk to the Woolshed. They'll have a bathroom there. Just tell them that you need to use it."

I stared at her, cringing inside. I didn't want to walk into the business where the party would be going later and ask them, just out of the blue, to use their bathroom.

"I'm good," I said. "I think I'll just go home."

"Is it really that important?"

I shook my head. "It's okay." I didn't know where the Woolshed exactly was and had a terrible time figuring out where anything was, frankly. "I'm just going to go home now." The hair on the back of my neck was standing up. It seemed strange to have a party where you had to buy and bring your own beer. There was no access to a bathroom and the nearest bathroom was in a place that I'd have trouble finding with my terrible sense of direction. Even using my phone, I'd definitely get lost for at least 10 minutes trying to figure out where it was. I didn't relish the idea of walking in and explaining to the staff that I would be back later that night.

"You should stay!" she said.

"I'm okay. I hope you guys have fun tonight." With that, I turned and went down the staircase. I waved to the angel and the first person I'd seen.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home," I said.

"No! Go upstairs and join the party."

I shook my head. "I'm going to go home now."

"Which hostel are you staying at?"

"It's not really a hostel. The Sharehouse," I said.