Fake Marrying Her Dad's Best Friend (Her Dad's Best Friend 3)

He beams at me and pats my face with more enthusiasm than accuracy. He's actually patting my earlobe and jawbone.

"It's the thought that counts," I tell Danny. He grins at me even more and then pushes his tiny fingers into my mouth. "Nom nom nom," I say, pretending to chomp on his fingers. He squeals in delight and touches my cheek with the saliva-covered fingers. It feels slimy.

"Ugh," I say, wiping off my cheek and u

sing his bib to wipe his hand. "Are you hungry? I made a bottle for you." I tell him, "Don't move an inch!" I run into the kitchen, grab the bottle, and then head back. He hasn't moved, just staring at me. I bring the nipple of the bottle to his mouth. He opens it but doesn't suck. He gnaws on it, which makes me wince in sympathy.

"Good thing I'm not attached to that, huh?"

He gets bored with the bottle and flings it from him. A few drops spill from the nipple. I sigh. "I guess your daddy already fed you, Danny." I pick it up and set it on the table. "Do you want to read books?"

"Ah," he says.

"I'll take that as a yes." I stand up and grab a thick cardboard book from the shelf. "Where are the eggs, Danny?" I read him a book about finding the eggs on a farm. He's engrossed, but I think that the book might not last long. There are flaps where you can see the animals, but the flaps are made of flimsy paper on top of the cardboard pages. I very gently pull them from his hands. He's still at the age where he puts everything in his mouth, and I don't think that the paper would be particularly palatable.

When we finish the egg book, he stares at the back cover intently.

"Are you reading the barcode, darling?" He just takes the book in both hands and slams it down on the floor.

"Okay then," I say. "More books?"

Chapter 4

Storytime

Elia

By the time that we've made our way very slowly through 5 books, my stomach is growling. I don't know if I've eaten today. I may not have had breakfast. I put Danny on my hip and make my way to the kitchen. He immediately makes sounds warning me that he's about to start bawling.

"None of that, little man," I say, putting him in a high chair. "You're getting a bottle and I'll find cereal or something." He's locked in as I go into the pantry and grab a box of cereal. I bring it back into the kitchen so I can pour it out into a bowl, which is hidden in a side cabinet, and add a little milk. I like my cereal soggy, which is why I made my food first. Danny gets another bottle, half of one, and he seems impatient when I put it in front of him. He jams the nipple into his face, but instead of hitting his mouth, it hits his nose. He's frustrated by his lack of motor skills.

"Here you go, sweetheart," I say, moving it so that he can get it into his mouth and vigorously suck. He continues to drink while I finish off my bowl of cereal. I'm kind of weird and am totally obsessed with cereal that has raisins in it.

As Danny finishes off his bottle, he lets the bottle plunk down onto the tray of his crib. Then he lets out a giant yawn.

"Time to put you down," I say. I'll throw the cereal bowl in the sink later. I unlatch the tray and pull him into my arms. This time, he doesn't make a lot of fuss as I walk up the stairs and into Jeff's bedroom. His eyes are mostly closed by the time I get him into the crib. I make sure that he's breathing deeply before I go down the stairs and clear my dishes.

I notice that the dishwasher is full of sparkling clean dishes, so I start to unload them. I've been in Jeff's house before, of course, but I don't know where everything is. It took a little while to find the bowl in the side cabinet. Trying put things away in someone else's kitchen is hard, but somehow I manage it. By the time I'm done, I am pooped. Danny's asleep for a little while.

I don't dare sleep in Jeff's bed again. He might take it as an invitation. Instead, I go into the downstairs coat closet, where there's a giant blanket. I put it on the ground in Danny's bedroom and just fall asleep. I'll be able to hear him when he wakes up.

Chapter 5

Tiny Fingers

Elia

I wake up to very small fingers going into my nose.

"What the..." I start, but it's muffled.

"It's kind of late," Jeff says. "Maybe you should go home."

I sit up. It's dark outside. Danny is on the ground next to me, his big blue eyes just looking at me. Jeff seems amused. I check my hair. I probably look like a dinosaur, hair spiking up everywhere.

"Oh man," I say. "You have to think I have narcolepsy or something. Danny is always sleeping and somehow it's contagious."

"Not a problem," Jeff says smoothly. "Don't worry about it."