“You got you into this shit, Brian, and unless you call Ms. Baldwin right now, she’s liable to approach you through the commissioner. It would be a lot better if you could tell the commissioner you got the Feds involved and worked out a deal with them.”
Doyle didn’t say anything for a moment.
“Look,” Stone said, “if she calls me back, I’m going to have to tell her more.”
“Don’t threaten me, Stone.”
“It’s how it is, Brian. Now go deal with it.” Stone hung up. His sandwich was cold again.
43
STONE SAT AT ELAINE’S with Dino, gulping bourbon.
“What’s the matter?” Dino asked.
“What’s the matter?” Stone made a moue. “Well, let’s see: I’ve been assigned by Eggers to save a fair damsel from the clutches of an evil fortune plunderer, as a result of which I’ve become embroiled in an NYPD undercover drug operation; I’ve been shanghaied back into the department, reporting to Brian Doyle, of all people; I’ve been fucking his undercover detective and her girlfriend at the same time, all the while trying to protect Carrie Cox from her evil ex-husband while fucking her; Tiffany Baldwin has reared her beautiful but addled head again and wants me to fuck her, and she’s going to try to shanghai me into working on her undercover operation to bust Sig Larsen. Let’s see, did I leave out anything?”
“Well, mostly, it sounds as if you’re fucking every woman in sight. What else is new?”
“Two undercover operations.”
“They don’t sound all that daunting.”
“They’re plenty daunting, believe me; multiple opportunities to get one or more of these women killed along with myself.”
“Wear armor.”
“Brian Doyle has thoughtfully provided that along with an ear bug that’s hell to get out once it’s in. Did I mention that?”
“I don’t remember,” Dino said. “Have another drink.” He waved at a waiter.
“You talked me into it,” Stone said, draining his glass and setting it aside to make room for another, which arrived with lightning speed. “It’s hot in here,” he said to the waiter. “Please make it cooler.” He patted his forehead with his napkin. “It’s always too hot in here.”
“It’s the bourbon,” Dino said, “and all this talk about sex.”
“I used to enjoy sex,” Stone said disconsolately.
“Don’t you still?”
“There are too many demands being made on me.”
“Most guys would be very happy to have those demands made on them.”
“Maybe I’ll just go up to the Maine house for a while,” Stone said. “Nobody would think of looking for me there this time of year.”
“That’s because you’d freeze your ass off this time of year,” Dino pointed out. “You wouldn’t enjoy it; you don’t like extremes of temperature.”
“It seems a small price to pay for a little peace.”
Eggers came through the front door and headed for their table.
Stone looked up. “Oh, shit.”
Eggers hung up his coat and sat down. “Evening, gentlemen.”
“Evening,” Dino said.
Stone just stared into his drink.