“Oh, Christ, I can’t stomach this! Why do you have to go? Why, mo gradh?”
He flung himself away from her and prowled restlessly around the room as if he couldn’t contain his frustration when he remained still. “Hell, I thought it was clear enough. You were happy to be my lover for a few weeks in the glen, but you always meant to seek your independence.” Angrily, he ran his hand through his hair. “I’d even accepted it. God knows, after what I’ve done, you’d be deranged to stay with me.”
He came to a furious halt in front of her. “But I was wrong, wasn’t I? You’re not leaving because you want to. It’s what you’d like me to believe, but it’s not the truth, is it?”
“Kylemore, don’t,” she pleaded, vulnerable to this sudden attack.
He ignored her entreaty. “Tell me, Verity—back at the glen, you said you wanted me. Was that true?” His eyes burned in his pale face and a muscle jerked in his cheek.
“There’s no point in this.”
“Was that true?”
“Yes, it was true. You know it was,” she said wearily, unable to lie, although it would have been better for both of them if she had.
“You still want me. Tell me I’m mistaken, Verity.”
She bent her head, unable to bear the stormy torment in his eyes. Why was it so hard to do what was right?
“No, you’re not mistaken,” she whispered and lifted a hand to ward him off as he made a convulsive move in her direction. “But it’s more complicated than what we feel. You’re a duke. I’m a whore.”
“For God’s sake! You’ve had three lovers. My mother goes through more men in a week. And she’s received everywhere.”
Regretfully, Verity shook her head. “My protectors paid to use my body. The whole world knows it and condemns me.”
“I don’t,” he said steadily.
“Perhaps not. But that doesn’t mean there’s any future for us. You must marry and have an heir, Kylemore.”
“You’re the only woman I want to marry,” he said gravely. “Verity Ashton, will you grant me the unparalleled joy of consenting to become my wife?”
She fought back another searing flood of tears. “You do me too much honor.”
He stood straight and oddly still as if any untoward movement might startle her into running away. “If your fear is I’ll tire of you and abandon you in favor of another, it’s misplaced.” Then on a burst of feeling, “By my soul, mo cridhe, I have wanted you without ceasing from the first moment I saw you
. Surely you cannot doubt my steadfastness.”
The strange thing was, she didn’t.
In spite of the dissolute habits of the society he moved in. In spite of his charm and manifold attractions.
She’d accepted that what he felt for her went far beyond physical desire, powerful as that physical desire was.
But still, it wasn’t enough.
She shook her head. “I cannot marry you, Kylemore. Our children would be outcasts. You’d be a pariah.”
“Society can go to hell,” he said shortly.
“You say that now. But you’ll repent giving your name to a woman like me. I couldn’t bear to cause you harm. It’s better we separate now.” Her voice broke on a sob, although she’d promised herself she wouldn’t cry. “Don’t press me, I beg of you. I’ve told myself a thousand times we can defy the world and live for ourselves alone. But we can’t! We can’t, Kylemore. All I ask is that you don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
He finally came to rest near the windows. He looked strong, controlled, arrogant. Infinitely dear.
How can I bear to leave him?
Because it’s what I must do for his sake.
“I’ll give you the world if you stay.” His voice was low and laced with deep feeling. “My God, woman. Don’t you know I’d lie down and die for you if you asked?”