Who could blame him for disbelieving her? The pile of letters stashed in her bedroom proved she lied. “No. How did you know I’d be here today?”
In a less-self-assured man, the expression that crossed his saturnine, intense face might be embarrassment. “I’ve waited for three days.”
She stared at him in shock. “I don’t…”
He shrugged, still with that discomfited air. “You didn’t answer my letters.”
Oh, Ashcroft…
She felt so sick with guilt and love, her heart cracked. She bit her lip, glanced away, and fought tears. This notorious rake had endured days braving the elements to talk to her. Without his saying so, she knew he’d never done such a thing for a woman before.
And she was achingly aware she wasn’t worth a single moment of his time.
She had a sudden memory of the supercilious rakehell she’d encountered in his beautiful library. So far removed from this devastated, suffering man. Bile filled her mouth, and roiling self-disgust made her wish she’d never forced her way into his life.
Logic told her the anguish wouldn’t always be this sharp. Her heart insisted otherwise.
She ignored her heart. She had a bleak premonition ignoring her heart would become a habit in the future. Rex whimpered and nudged her skirts, seeking reassurance. He’d been jumpy for days, sensing the discord in her father’s house.
Abruptly, she drooped in Ashcroft’s hold, the fight leaching from her. Her voice emerged as a low, choked murmur. “There’s nothing for you here.”
“There’s everything for me here.” He stepped closer, towering above her. If he took her in his arms, she’d shatter. His tone deepened into velvet seduction. She felt as much as heard it. Every hair on her skin rose in longing. “I don’t care what you’ve done. Come back, Diana.”
She knew what it must cost him to say those words. How she wished she could obey the soft entreaty. It hurt to speak. “It’s over.”
He released her and stepped back. Immediately, she missed his touch the way she’d missed him for ten miserable days. She lifted her hands to rub her arms, although it was a warm morning. The coldness lived inside and had nothing to do with the season. Rex crowded her in silent sympathy.
Ashcroft’s jaw hardened. “Tell me why.”
If only she could. She braced herself to lie once more. With all this lying, it should become easier. She reached a stage where she’d gag if she had to force out another falsehood.
Just one more, she promised herself. Send Ashcroft away, then you’ll never have to lie to him again.
But when she read the burning emotion in his face, she couldn’t say the lacerating, insulting words. Instead, she shook her head with dull obstinacy and turned away. “I’m sorry, Ashcroft.”
She managed two steps, Rex sticking so close to her heels, he tangled in her skirts.
“Wait, Diana!” Ashcroft leaped after her.
Wildly, she swerved to evade him. “No, Tarquin.” His Christian name slipped out before she could stop it.
Rex yelped when she stepped on him, and she twisted to avoid trampling the spaniel. Ashcroft dived to catch her as she teetered.
She plastered both hands across her belly in an automatic gesture of protection.
Chapter Twenty-four
Ashcroft froze as if struck by lightning.
He tried to speak. Nothing emerged. He cleared his throat. Tried again.
Gently but remorselessly, he shifted his hold on Diana’s waist and turned her to face him. After brief resistance, she capitulated. Her mouth turned down in misery. She was ashen and trembling.
This time he managed to say the impossible words. “You’re pregnant.”
He thought she was pale before, but the color bleached so drastically from her skin, even her lips turned white. He saw her consider denying the charge and recognized the moment she decided on honesty.
Odd he could read her so accurately, yet she managed to keep such a quantity of secrets.