She didn’t want to leave him. He knew she didn’t, and this had nothing to do with Jeremy. The days of behaving professionally were over. Vic had instincts, too, and before long he’d act on them.
* * *
CLAIRE LEFT HER parents’ at nine thirty and headed back to Vic’s house. It had been good to see her sisters, who both worked. They wanted to know which job she’d decided to take and envied her for having such great opportunities now that she’d received her degree. But she told them she was still thinking things over.
Kaye, particularly, couldn’t understand how Claire had ever decided to be a nanny in the first place. Everyone wanted to talk about the kidnapping. Barbara kept asking about the dishy Texas Ranger she worked for. “He’s a complete hunk, Claire.”
She really didn’t want to discuss him. “He’s a wonderful father. Today he bought Jeremy a miniature horse.”
“Oh...” both her sisters said at the same time.
“I have some pictures.” She passed her phone around so they could see Jeremy playing with the horse. “He’s named it Daken, son of Wolverine.”
Everyone laughed. Her mom looked at her. “These pictures are priceless.”
“I agree.”
Her father studied the photos for a while. “When are you leaving them, honey?”
“As soon as he’s hired a new nanny. Vic’s interviewing some applicants on Monday and Tuesday. He wants me there, too. As soon as he’s made a decision, then I can go. I went to Houston yesterday and found several condos for sale that are decently priced and in a good neighborhood.”
“When the time comes we’ll help you move.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’d better go now. Love all of you.”
When she got out to her car, she sat there for a minute, resting her forehead against the steering wheel. Wow. It was really going to happen. Talking with her family had made it a reality, but she’d never felt such pain in her life.
Before her family noticed she hadn’t left yet, she pulled away from the curb and took off for the highway. The more she tried to deny her true feelings, the more she hated the thought of leaving Austin. Jeremy and his father had been her whole world for nine months. It ripped her heart out to think that next week this would all be over.
It didn’t have to be over if she was willing to stay on. But was she really willing to hang on to a life that wasn’t truly hers, living on the outskirts of a family without being a part of it? Without knowing Vic’s love? For how long? Until he married someone and she had to leave?
Over and over Claire went through this thought process in her mind. Every time she ended up coming to the same conclusion. Nothing but marriage to him could ever satisfy her. She wanted Jeremy to be her little boy. If she never had another child, it wouldn’t matter.
The way Vic had looked at her while they’d been at the farm today had set her on fire. She could still feel it, making her body tremble. Was she mistaken, or had she seen desire burning for her in the black depths of his eyes? Maybe she wanted him so much, she’d imagined those moments at the fence when she could hardly breathe.
When love hits, you know it.
He might have been talking about Jeremy and his new horse, but it seemed to her he’d meant it to mean something much more personal. Had it been his way of telling her how he felt about her? Did she dare think it? Believe it? If she didn’t get an answer to those questions soon, she didn’t know how she could go on living.
They’d both been so careful all these months to honor boundaries. In the beginning she knew he was still trying to put his grief behind him. Claire had been so careful not to intrude on his private thoughts. He was a man who kept things close to his chest, especially with the enormous responsibilities he carried as a Ranger.
She knew from the first day that she loved her job and wouldn’t say or do anything that could jeopardize his faith in her. She could imagine the women who wished they had the inside track on him. But it would take a very special woman to penetrate the casing that guarded his heart.
He’d been so shattered over losing his wife and parents, it was a miracle he’d been able to carry on. Jeremy was the one responsible for giving Vic a reason to go on living. She’d learned that long before Jeremy had been kidnapped.
When she’d realized he wasn’t coming out of school that day, her heart had almost died because she knew the news would tear Vic to pieces. If he’d been killed, then she knew Vic would want to die. They had to find him and find him fast. Someone upstairs had heard her prayers. His son was now home and safe and sound.
After parking the car in the garage, she entered the kitchen and tiptoed down the hall past the den. The door was closed, but she could see light shining through the crack. Vic didn’t want to be disturbed. He was probably talking with his friends about the case he couldn’t investigate further until his boss told him he could get back to work.
She peeked in Jeremy’s room. He was asleep. The poor kid had to be worn out after such a huge day. To be truthful, Claire was exhausted, but it was the mental kind. After taking a shower she got ready for bed. She didn’t know she’d fallen asleep until she heard Jeremy’s voice. He’d come into her room and stood at the side of her bed in his pajamas.
Her watch said 2:00 a.m. Alarmed, she sat up. “Hi, honey. What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”
“No. Dad’s in the den and the door is closed. Can I sleep with you?”
After the horror he’d lived through, how could she turn him away?
“Okay. Climb under the covers.”