A Girl in Black and White (Alyria 2)

Had she run from my bed and into his?

Fuck, I was losing it. Could feel the separation of conscious thoughts from feelings. And this was exactly why I couldn’t be near Calamity for much longer.

After the stablehand had left, I watched her rest her forehead on Gallant’s neck, whispering something that was too low to hear. And before I even knew what I was doing, I was walking towards her.

Lantern light lit the stable, sending an orange glow throughout. She wore a slim-fitting, white dress, her hair loose down her back. I leaned against the stable doors, just looking at her for a moment. I could waste a lot of time watching this woman.

She had asked me if she amused me. The truth was, she was the biggest distraction I’d ever come across. She didn’t amuse me—she captivated me as if I’d never seen a woman before.

I’d read her list. Couldn’t really stop myself when I saw it sitting on her desk. My gaze had gone straight to the last number just because she had passed on the question.

But while at first the words had given me some kind of dark satisfaction, I now realized she was playing me, or she meant something other than hate, like a lesser loathing. Because I was sure I’d never gotten such a carefree laugh from her as that stablehand had. If I tried to figure out this woman’s thoughts, I’d go mad a lot sooner.

Some resentment crawled up my throat, and my words came out before I could stop them. “I thought it was a blacksmith you were aiming for.”

She started, probably daydreaming about all the men she had hanging on her every word.

Could I even blame that stablehand for trying? He obviously didn’t know her tie to me, was an idiot, or just entranced when he saw her. Maybe all three. What man wouldn’t try it, if he could get past those dark eyes judging him as if he was beneath her? It was the reason I started calling her Princess. She’d look down on me like she was one. And it’d been the first time I’d ever received that look, even from princesses alike.

She turned around slowly, her gaze flicking up to mine. “A blacksmith will only ever be a dream of mine.”

Who was this woman? And why could I never figure her out? She never did what I expected of her, and especially what I told her. I wanted to get in her head, understand every reaction she made, and it frustrated me that I could no longer hear her thoughts.

“I’m leaving tomorrow night. I’ll have Gallant brought to your stable,” I told her.

She paused for a moment. “But you love him.”

He’d grown on me, sure, but that wasn’t the reason I’d kept him. To be honest, it was different now that I knew she was alive. I wanted the reminder of her then—I couldn’t handle the reminder now. “He’s yours, Calamity. I’ll have one of the hands bring him by.”

“I can come get him.”

“No, I’d rather you didn’t,” I said immediately and harsher than I’d intended. I hadn’t expected to see her again after the night before on the docks. But the last thing I needed was to watch her around the palace grounds, laughing with some other man.

She didn’t calm me like some fucking fairy-tale; she made me irrational, and it was too risky having her near.

Her expression was unreadable, her eyes darker in this low-lit room. “Thank you,” she said, her voice quiet.

My brows knitted. “For what?”

“For helping me with my magic.”

A sardonic breath of amusement escaped me, and I scraped my hand across my jaw in disbelief. Did she just thank me for torturing her? It sent an unshakeable bitterness through me. I was the man who used her, hurt her, and that was where she had placed me. It was probably why she came to me to lose her virginity. That was all she knew of me, all she understood. She reserved the sincere light-heartedness for other men.

My chest tightened, and I didn’t respond.

She walked towards me and stopped at my side, her gaze fixed in the distance. Her voice was soft and smoky, and as intoxicating as it always was. “I hope Elian treats you well. I’m sure someday I’ll hear you became a king there in your own right.”

Fuck. I hadn’t expected that out of her mouth.

I hadn’t seen it many times before, but when she was quiet and sweet . . . it made me want to do anything to see it again.

I itched to reach out to her, pick her up and carry her to my bed. Make her moan my name like she had before, but I forced it down. Because as much I wanted it, I’d been trained self-control since I was able to walk. She’d often made me forget everything I’d been taught, but I couldn’t let myself waver this time.

She walked away, and I forced my feet to remain where they were, clenched my fists to stop myself from reaching for her at the last second. I didn’t move until she left the palace gates because I didn’t trust myself not to stop her.

I headed through the bailey, suddenly relieved to have business that would keep me busy.

Taking the steps two at time, I couldn’t help the uncomfortable tightness in my chest. Bloody hell . . . if I’d ever thought I’d feel this way.