I swallowed down all my apprehension and walked toward him. He stopped and only watched me with a heavy gaze. It was a little dark, but he was interested enough to stay where he was.
My heartbeat thumped so heavily in my chest when I reached him. I looked up, meeting his eyes for a moment. It wasn’t fair that he was the one man I didn’t want to want—couldn’t even have—yet the only one who made me feel alive.
A pang went through my chest. After tonight, I’d never see him again.
I stood in front of him, number thirteen clouding the space between us, and sailors surrounding us. It wasn’t the location I wished to do this, but it didn’t look like I had another option.
“You didn’t have to do it,” I said quietly.
His eyes narrowed slightly. “I owed you. I’ve paid it.”
Was that the reason he did it then? To absolve himself of guilt? Because he felt like he was indebted to me?
I almost backed out, my pride was creeping up on me, wanting to cut my words off before I could bare myself further. “Weston . . .” I breathed.
He shook his head, agitation crossing his features, before wiping it away with his palm. “Calamity, let’s not draw this out, all right? I did you a favor. Are we even now?”
Even . . .? I guessed I hadn’t thought of it in terms like that in a while. Or realized that was all there was between us. At least, that’s what he believed. I shook my head, my mind spinning. “Yea, I guess we’re even.”
His gaze settled on me for a couple moments, before he turned his back to walk away.
My stomach twisted, nerves spreading through my body, but I had to do this. Had to. “Weston, wait.”
When he stopped and turned back around, his gaze was dark, furious. But I strode toward him, standing on my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his neck. I didn’t think I’d ever hugged him, and there was something so comforting about it, that I didn’t want to let go. He tensed like I’d surprised him, but his hands didn’t come up to hug me back.
My heart was beating so hard, I knew he could feel it against his chest. And the sailors who were slowing their movements, watching us, made this one of the hardest things I’d ever done.
“I have something to say,” I whispered against his neck.
He didn’t respond, only kept his gaze in front of him while I embraced him on the docks with too many eyes on us. I knew what this looked like; that I was an infatuated maid, and he was only trying to turn me down nicely, but I suddenly didn’t care what a bunch of sailors thought. They were going to Elian. I’d most likely never see them again.
I inhaled a breath, preparing myself. “I just wanted to tell you to have a good trip.” An angry, disgusted sound escaped his lips, and I swallowed hard before finishing. “And I hope you find everything you’re looking for—”
“Calamity, stop,” he said darkly, pulling my arms off him.
“Just let me finish!”
“You’re making this into a fucking dramatic show I don’t need.” He turned his back on me once again.
My frustration built, before bursting. “You’re the most arrogant, stupid, pigheaded man I’ve ever met, milord!”
He froze, and so did all of the sailors, the air stilling completely. He stood there for a moment, his back to me, before saying lowly, “What did you just say?”
I swallowed, glancing at the sailors who were only watching us now than doing their jobs. “I said, you’re the stupidest man I’ve ever met.”
He finally turned around, his intense gaze finding mine. “That’s not what you said.”
My indecision was so strong, it almost choked me. Did he want to hand me a knife so that I could cut my chest open in front of him? “Yes, it is.”
He walked toward me slowly, my heart beating to each step he took until he stood right before me. “What. Did. You. Say?”
I pushed down my uncertainty, finding the resolve I had earlier. It was just much easier to tell yourself you could do something than actually having to do it.
This was harder now that he was staring me in the eye, and so I took a step closer, rested my hands on his jerkin and slid them up around his neck.
Standing on my tiptoes, I said, “You’re the most arrogant. Stupid. Pigheaded. Man. I’ve ever met,” before leaning in closer and whispering, “milord.”
“You promised,” he said roughly.