Did you love her? Why did it end?
‘You want more personal details, Sadie? Then marry me.’
My breath caught, those two words tapping into a secret well I didn’t want to acknowledge. Because within that well dwelt a fierce yearning to belong. But to be worthy of consideration for myself, not like in the past, because it suited my father’s professional ladder climbing, or because I was carrying Neo’s child now.
‘Will you marry me, Sadie?’ he pressed, his voice low and deep.
‘It’s nice to be asked. Finally. And thanks for answering my question.’
‘No—efkharisto,’ he breathed heavily.
Yesterday he’d said that meant thank you. Surprise held me mute for a second. ‘For what?’
‘For going the extra mile to tell me about the pregnancy even when I made things...unpleasant.’
‘You’re welcome. But still...why?’
‘Because, as much as my brother is overjoyed at the existence of his son, the time he’s missed weighs on him. I wouldn’t have wished that for myself.’
‘Oh.’ I drew in a shaky breath as that unique place inside me threatened to soften.
Silence echoed down the line. When he ended it, his voice was tense. ‘Do you have an answer for me, Sadie?’
My heart lurched, then thundered as if I was on the last leg of a marathon. ‘That depends...’
‘On?’ he bit out.
‘On whether your status two months ago still holds true. I know this marriage will be in name only, but if I’m going to make someone “the other woman”, even for a short while, I’d like to be forewarned.’
The background noise had faded completely, leaving the steady sound of his breathing to consume every inch of my attention.
‘You have my word that there is no other woman, and nor will there be as long as this agreement between us stands.’
Even as the knot inside me inexplicably eased, that last addition sent a bolt of disquiet through me. I smashed it down, dwelling on the positives in all of this. My child would be getting the best possible start in life. My mother would receive the help she’d denied she needed. I could concentrate on finishing my degree and finally starting the career I’d yearned for.
But, best of all, the fervour with which Neo wanted his child meant there wouldn’t be a repeat of what my father had done to me. No postcard would ever land on my baby’s doorstep, with a few words telling him or her that they’d been abandoned in favour of a better life.
So what if every facet of this agreement made me feel surplus to requirements? That, although my child wouldn’t suffer the same fate, it felt as if I was reliving the past, and again others’ needs had been placed above my own?
I couldn’t deny that the benefits outweighed the momentary heartache. I would get over this. As long as I placed some firm rules of my own.
‘There will be no sex in this marriage. Do you agree to that?’
A sharp intake of breath. ‘What?’ he demanded tightly.
‘No sex. Or no deal.’
He uttered something long and terse in Greek. Time stretched, tight and tense. Then he growled, ‘If that’s your wish.’
I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping for a miracle solution that didn’t involve committing myself to a far too magnetically captivating man for the foreseeable future.
You’ve already been given a miracle.
Whatever had happened to make him believe he couldn’t father children, our encounter had proved otherwise. We simply needed to make the best of the situation.
‘Sadie?’ His voice throbbed with authority that said he wouldn’t be denied.
With a deep breath, I gave my answer. ‘Yes. I’ll marry you.’