A look of actual pain crossed his face, making her want to take back her words. But short of the definitive words or the commitment from him whose twin was lodged in her heart, she knew nothing would ease her heartache. And being with him, like this, was turning out to be far worse than she’d imagined.
The buggy arrived at the steps of his plane. He got out and waited, his eyes hard and unmoving on hers.
To prolong this would be to prolong her pain. She alighted and climbed the steps into the plane.
Save a single attendant, there was no sign of Javier’s crew. Which was good because she didn’t want witnesses to her heartache.
The plane took off in record time. The moment the seat-belt sign flashed off, Javier surged to his feet.
He paced the space in front of her for terse minutes, before he leaned over her chair.
‘What must I do to prove to you that I can be worthy of you? How can I even do that if you won’t give me a chance?’
Carla’s mouth dropped open. ‘What are you talking about?’
Reaching into his jacket, he produced a familiar-looking sheet. ‘I’m talking about this,’ he snarled. ‘Your Dear John letter.’
‘You...kept it?’
Incredulity lightened his eyes. ‘That’s what interests you in all this? Whether or not I kept your letter?’
He slammed the sheet on the table next to her. ‘Explain it, por favor.’
She licked lips gone dry with trepidation. ‘Which part?’
‘All of it!’
Carla stared down at the words that had killed her to write, her limbs leaden as she reached for the single, most difficult thing she’d ever had to do.
Javier,
I returned to the ice today, and you were right. I love it. It’s in my blood. But I’m not in love with it. Not at the moment. Maybe it will return. Maybe it won’t. I need to give it time.
There’s an old saying about loving something and letting it go, right? But I allowed myself to love it again for the sake of your shoot. I hope you like the result. If you don’t... I’m sorry, but I’m done. Done faking. Done pretending I don’t want what I want.
I deserve better than that. We both do. I still intend to fulfil my endorsement obligations to you. But I think it would be best if I deal with your team going forward. You will most likely be angry with me, but I hope you grant me this clean break.
For all that has gone before, I’m sorry. But please, let me be.
Carla
The paper disappeared as he snatched it back up. A peculiar fire blazed in his eyes. ‘You’re done faking? Exactly which part did you fake with me? The days when you couldn’t stop smiling at each new experience we shared, or the nights you came apart in my arms?’ he finished, his voice a hoarse, bleak rasp.
Her breath shook out in searing recollection. She reached out, for what, she didn’t know, but he turned in a tight, horribly graceless pace.
‘You want what you want? How am I supposed to have a chance of offering myself up to help you achieve it when you disappear without trace?’
‘I didn’t think you’d want me to stay, knowing...’
He stopped. ‘Knowing what?’
She shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter. You said you’d b
e gone for a few days...that you’d call. You didn’t...’
‘So you took it as an excuse to bail? When will you stop running from me? From us?’ He stared down at her, a stiff entreaty in his eyes, before he shook his head. ‘Maybe I’m truly insane. I have to be, don’t I, to keep throwing myself at your feet when you don’t want me?’
She gasped. ‘Javier—’