He collapsed at her side, heart racing and breathing hard. She rested her cheek against his chest, the beat of her heart racing against his side. It would be all too easy to get used to this. Nothing compared to having India Boone in his arms, nothing. He wanted her at his side for the rest of his days, as his wife, raising their children together, maybe adding some more along the way.
He’d spent too much time thinking about the future she didn’t want. And now, instead of enjoying the here and now, all he could think about was what he was losing. “Would you think about giving us a real chance?” he asked, his voice gruff. “For me?”
She stared up at him, cheeks flushed, breathing heavy, and so surprised he cursed himself. He didn’t want to lose this. Even though he wanted to believe they were growing closer, she might not feel the same.
“What does that mean? For you?” Her voice was soft and thready.
He ran a hand along her cheek. “Last weekend here, and our time with the kids, felt good—like the start of something real. Let’s give this a chance to see where it could go—no secrets, no letting our families dictate our choices...and you being open-minded about staying in Fort Kyle.” His gaze searched hers.
She stared at him, f
lashes of a dozen thoughts and feelings rushing across her face. “We agreed, Brody...” She swallowed, her explanations stalling out. “What I needed, what I thought we both needed, hasn’t changed. Has it?”
The sincerity of her voice plucked at his heart. Nothing had changed for him. He loved her. And he was a fool for thinking he could make her love him. “What did you need, India?”
She frowned. “I needed you. The way you make me feel when you’re around. Just...you. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t upset me. You’ve told me from the beginning how things stand.” He shook his head. “I thought I could be fine with just this—”
“Just this?” She frowned. “This is something.”
But not enough. He had a choice to make. Tell her the truth and stop this from ever happening again or accept the way things were. He was the one who was making this hard, not her. It wasn’t fair to get upset now, simply because she hadn’t come around to his way of thinking. But, maybe, it wasn’t fair to his heart to let things go on.
“It is,” he agreed, his hand cradling her cheek. He might regret it, but there were things that needed to be said. “Enough to make me want more.”
She stared at him, so still and quiet he didn’t know what to make of it.
He kissed her. “When I’m with you I have the future I want. Right here. You, me, Cal, the girls, in Fort Kyle.”
“Brody, stop.” Tears spilled down her cheeks, but still she didn’t move.
“I know our families will take their own sweet time coming around, but they will—”
“No, they wouldn’t. My father would never come around, Brody. He’d be mean and hateful to you—and that would put Cal in the middle. And your girls, too.” She shook her head. “And your family? I won’t drive a wedge between you and your family.”
“There’s no way of knowing how things would turn out,” he argued.
“None,” she agreed. “We both know that. Neither of our first marriages had this kind of baggage going in. We’re lonely and being a single parent is hard, but that’s real life. It doesn’t matter how much I love you or if you love me, it won’t suddenly fix everything—that’s not real life. I’d rather spare our kids than risk their happiness.”
He stared at her, filtering through her words. She loved him. She might not have realized she’d said it, but he sure as hell did. She loved him, but it wasn’t enough. “So where does that leave us?”
She drew in a deep breath, bracing herself. “Nothing’s changed, Brody. This is all I can give you. If you still want it.”
He smiled, burying the hurt deep down inside him. “When it comes to you, I’ll take whatever I can get, India Boone.” He kissed her gently, ignoring the pain as she slipped her arms around him and held him close.
Chapter Sixteen
India’s phone started ringing a little after five in the morning.
“Is that you or me?” Brody asked, reaching over her to turn on the bedside lamp.
“Me.” She took the phone he offered, instantly recognizing Scarlett’s number. “Scarlett?”
“Cal’s not feeling well,” Scarlett said. “His throat’s hurting him and he wants to come home.”
“Of course,” she said. “I’ll walk up and get him.”
“No, Dad’s got him—”