I could hear him. He was crying harder. He fell to his knees before me. “Why won’t you listen?” His voice broke. “Oh God, Claire.”
It was cold. The tile floor was like ice but it seemed to be getting warm…wet, slippery under my hands. I looked down. My shirt, the floor, covered in blood. My blood. I was dizzy. But I was still aware enough to feel terror.
He looked confused, his eyes wavering between me and the gun. He seemed very far away. My voice wavered. “Daniel, what about Nat and Will?”
“I’m here for them. Damn you! You’re the one who won’t think about anyone but yourself. Why, Claire? Why?”
There was a blow to my chest and the breath was knocked out of me again. Sounds began to fade, his crying, another bang and a shout. I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t care. But he needed to listen to me so I spoke with all of the breath I had left in my body. The words rasped out.
“Daniel. It doesn’t matter anymore. If you kill me or not, I’m still gone. You won’t hurt me anymore. And you will never see Will or Nat again.” I paused, catching my breath. “You’ll have to live with yourself. Whatever you do now, it’s a choice you’re making.”
Daniel said something, his voice hard and winded. But I couldn’t make it out.
There was another crash. Something was broken? Or thrown into something? I heard someone talking, someone who wasn’t Daniel. Someone else was in the room besides me and Daniel? Daniel was talking to someone. Yelling at them.
There was a scream then. But it wasn’t me. Another voice, a woman, was speaking. But I couldn’t understand any of it.
There was more noise, more talking, but it grew faint. I started to tremble from the cold. I knew I was going to die, and I didn’t resist the blackness that crept over me.
The sound of another gunshot made me wince, but there was no new pain.
I couldn’t see anything. My eyes wouldn’t open. Then it was dark…and silent.
***
I started awake with a shock, images flashing in my head.
I was vaguely aware of my surroundings. I was in an ambulance. I couldn?
??t breathe or talk. Something was in my throat.
Daniel.
Where was Daniel? Had he run? Were the kids in danger?
The kids!God, someone needs to find the kids. They’re in danger.
But I couldn’t say the words. Something warm rushed through my body, making everything feel heavy and my mind lose its train of thought. Medicine? Forcing me to sleep against my will.
Wait…the kids… I forced the words out of my mouth. But the sound I heard didn’t match.
They were giving me something to relax me. The pain was fading, but so was my consciousness. My panic was trapped inside, caught in the drugged haze I couldn’t fight.
Dreams took over.
I was playing hide-and-seek with the kids in the woods behind the vicarage. Josh and the kids were building a tree house in view of the kitchen window. Mom and I could see them. It was lovely. I dreamed of magical stories and peaceful quiet times together. Josh smiled at me, his beautiful smile.
My dreams shifted.
There was a lot of pain. I couldn’t move. I tried, but my limbs wouldn’t cooperate. The smell of alcohol burned my nose. There was a rhythmic beeping and voices I didn’t know. I was under an extremely bright light and someone was telling me to count backward from fifty. I think I made it to forty-one before everything went totally black and quiet. And dreamless.
***
I pried an eye open. I was in a hospital bed. A nurse was making notes on my chart. She smiled slightly at me.
I didn’t know if this was a dream or not. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, so I let the steady beat of the monitor lull me into a deep sleep.
When I tried to open my eyes again, I felt pleasantly drowsy. I could hear my pulse, feel its beat in my cheek and lip. It took a few seconds before my mind cleared.