But after, when she sat in her bed, alone and cold, her melancholy returned. She almost gave in to it. Why not sob into her pillows? Wail a little? But she couldn’t do it. It was too much like...giving in. Instead of thinking about what might happen after, she needed to enjoy every second of the before—the now. She’d crushed her pillow to her chest, immediately distracted by Spencer’s scent clinging to the cotton pillowcase. She hugged it, breathing him in until she was smiling, and leaped from the bed. A cup of coffee and a long, hot shower had her perking up. So did putting on something pretty. When Lucy arrived with tea and some yummy little finger sandwiches and cakes, Tatum was feeling downright optimistic and full of enthusiasm.
“It’s nice to have someone to hang out with,” Lucy said, sipping her tea.
“Especially like this.” Tatum grinned. “I feel like we should be wearing fancy hats and using my grandmother’s china.”
“Next time, definitely.” Lucy grinned. “You going to be okay with Spencer going up for auction?”
Tatum frowned. “For auction?”
“You can buy one of our first responders for work around the house or something.”
“Something?” Tatum asked.
“Last year a bunch of the elementary teachers put their money in to get a fireman to visit the school. Of course the whole station got into it. They spent the day there, making copies, playing with the kids, showing off the fire engine.”
“And the money goes for?” Tatum asked.
“It’s split. Half goes into the library and its literacy programming. The other half goes to the youth soccer association here. You know what a big organization it is here. They make sure there are scholarships and equipment, field repairs and referees for the games—that sort of thing.”
Tatum nodded. Growing up, everyone had played soccer in Greyson. “So improving young minds and young bodies. Sounds like something that’s easy to support. I’m sure he’ll bring in a lot of money.”
“Uh-huh.” Lucy smirked.
She sipped her tea, then set it on the table. “How awkward is this going to be?”
“Very,” Lucy said. “You’re back. After...well, you know. People will be watching you two. And wondering.”
&nbs
p; Tatum stared into her tea. She did know. She could remember every horrible word he’d said, the horrified looks on the faces of her friends and classmates—
“Tatum, don’t go there,” Lucy said. “You don’t know... He...” She shook her head, sat back in her chair and sighed. “He has regrets. Big regrets.”
Tatum jumped up, busying herself with tidying the kitchen. “The past is in the past.” She shot Lucy a smile. “I’m not stupid enough to let myself fall in love like that ever again. It wasn’t healthy to be so connected with a person.” She shrugged. “All I want is great sex.”
Lucy looked doubtful.
“It’s totally great sex,” Tatum assured her.
“I don’t want to know,” Lucy laughed. “I just want you to be happy. Both of you. And I know he hasn’t been really happy since you left.”
Lucy’s words bothered her. Surely that wasn’t true. Too many years had passed. She wanted him to be happy—even if it wasn’t with her.
Tatum waved a hand at the containers of treats. “Let’s load this up and see if your aunt needs any help.”
“She and Spencer are probably already there,” Lucy said. “Aunt Imogene is on pretty much every board in Greyson, so she’s there in some official capacity or other.”
They loaded Tatum’s baked goods into her backseat. Lucy slid her sheet cake in and sighed, hands on hips. “You’re making me look bad.”
Tatum laughed as they climbed into her little beige SUV and headed to the other side of town. She drove slowly, the ice making her tires slip more than once. But going slow had other advantages. For one, she could enjoy every dazzling holiday display. For another, she could prepare for the night.
There wasn’t much appeal in being surrounded by her past—especially the painful parts. But confronting them, making peace, was the only way to move on. And since she was sleeping with the person who’d actually hurt her, she figured handling the ones who’d simply watched the whole humiliating event wouldn’t be too hard.
“Looks packed,” Lucy said as they parked. “Ready? You certainly dressed to make an impression.”
Tatum glanced at her red dress. It was modest. A sweetheart neckline, fitted sleeves and a full skirt. Lucy was wearing slacks. “Is it too much? I thought I was being festive.”
“It’s not too much. I just mean you’re going to make tonight hard on Spencer.” Lucy giggled as she climbed out of the SUV.