"It might have to do with your brothers killing my brothers," Tearle said softly, then he paused a moment. "If our marriage and our producing a child will not settle the feud, then I see no reason for our being married."
"Nor do I," she answered, looking straight at him.
Tearle looked at her a while, and then he smiled. "I have done foolish things in my life, but nothing like this. Lady Zared," he said, sweeping off his cap, "I apologize for having forced you into marriage with me. I apologize for thinking that I could make you care for me. I see now that I was a fool. The Peregrine hatred is stronger than the Howard love. Since there seems to be no way to compromise in this feud—since both sides ask for complete surrender—then I suggest that we end this marriage."
"H-how can we do that?"
"I shall petition the king. I am sure that with a little land deeded to him he will allow the marriage to be annulled. Then we can all go back to where we were. Your people can spy on my people, and mine
can spy on yours. Does that suit you?"
"I'm not sure," she said hesitantly.
"Not sure? What alternative is there? You hate me, and you'd rather die than allow me to touch you, so there can be no hope of children. For myself, I would like to have a few brats. My proposal is that we stay at my mother's house until we have heard from the king. I do not think that I would like to stay with you and this formidable brother of yours, nor do I think that you would like to stay with my brother."
"No!" she said quickly. "I don't want to stay with the Howards."
"Then it is settled. That is, if this is all right with you. I no longer want to be accused of forcing you—of forcing you to marry me, of forcing you to go to bed with me. As you said, you'd rather mate with a… what was it you said? A three-legged hunchback with the mark of the devil on his cheek. Do I have it right?"
Zared looked away, her face red. She had said many things on their wedding night and didn't remember half of them. She would have said anything that night to keep him from touching her. She nodded.
"Good, at last we seem to agree on something. The sooner we get the marriage annulled, the sooner we can get away from each other, and the sooner I can find myself a few willing women." He smiled in a way that Zared had not seen before. His whole face softened. "At the tournament there was the prettiest little green-eyed blonde. She had hair…" He stopped and cleared his throat. "Well, then, it's settled. Shall we clasp hands on the bargain?"
Zared took his hand and quickly and firmly clasped it, then she looked away, frowning. She had what she wanted, but for some reason she wasn't happy at all.
The sight of the house owned by her husband's mother made Zared even more unhappy. It was a house—not a fortress protected by high walls, but a beautiful, large house made of pink stone. There were trees in the large park surrounding it, and she saw deer roaming under the trees. Everything was clean and tidy and utterly beautiful.
Part of her said that the house was useless in defense, that it could be taken by anyone who wanted it, but another part loved the beauty of the place.
When they rode up to the courtyard their horses' hooves clattering on the cobblestones, people came out of the house to greet them. There were three older women, all exquisitely dressed in brocade, their headdresses sparkling with jewels.
Tearle introduced her to the ladies who were kind enough and polite enough to make no reaction to her boy's clothes. Zared had planned to dismount and curtsy to them, but she bent only a little before Tearle caught her arm and held her upright. He told her that the lovely women were to be her maids, that they were to care for her just as they had for his mother. She was to go with them, and he would see her at supper.
As Zared looked at the women, looked at their beautiful gowns, she felt something akin to fear. Until that moment she hadn't considered what it was going to mean to her life to dress as a woman. She had been so involved with her anger at her husband that she had not considered the issue. She thought of wearing a silk gown and felt some excitement, some part of her wanting to feel the fabric against her skin, but another part of her was terrified. With longing she looked back at the Howard men. They were no doubt going to the stables or to the men's quarters to drink beer and brag to one another about the tournament. How she would have liked to have gone with them! She would feel more comfortable with those bragging, belching, scratching men than with the ladies.
She looked from the men to Tearle and saw that he was watching her. For the first time she didn't look at him as though he were her enemy; he was the most familiar person to her. She gave him a little smile.
He didn't return the smile and seemed to be puzzled by hers.
"This way, Lady Zared," one of the women said to her.
Zared gave Tearle a look of pleading, silently asking him to help her, to allow her to go with the men.
Gradually he seemed to understand her meaning, and he smiled at her. "I will come to you soon," he said.
The words made Zared blush, for they sounded as though she couldn't bear to be parted from him. She put her nose in the air and followed the three ladies. She'd show him that she didn't need him.
Upstairs it was worse than she had feared. The women seemed to think that she was dressed in boy's clothes for protection and that she was dying to put on a silk gown. They apologized for not having made her room ready.
Zared looked at the large oak-paneled room and wondered what could have been done to make it more ready. There was no room in her family's castle that was half as nice. She went to the big four-poster bed and tentatively touched the hangings.
"Shall we help you bathe and dress, my lady?" one of the women asked.
Zared did not want to show her ignorance. "No, I… I will do it myself." She saw the women look from one to the other and knew that she had done wrong.
"Very well, then, we shall have your bath sent to you."
Zared gave a silent nod, and the women left the room. Within minutes four men carried the big wooden tub into the room, and women followed with hot water, soap, and towels.