"You make me sound as though I am less than a man. You can see the scars on my body. I can fight."
"You can fight in mock battles, true, but can you kill? Could you look a man in the eye and kill him?"
He held her hand in his and looked at it. "I would kill whoever touched you."
"Yes, you probably would." She sighed, for she didn't have any idea how to explain what she meant. He didn't understand hatred. He had no idea what it was like to feed off hatred—to have hatred consume the souls of those around you.
"Could you look into a man's eyes and kill him?" he asked.
"If he were a Howard," she said before she thought, then she turned to look at him, a feeling of horror growing inside her.
"I am a Howard," he said softly. "Could you look into my eyes and kill me?"
She didn't know what to say to him. She knew that she could not kill him. Or could she? If he were to threaten on
e of her brothers, what would she do?
She shivered, then looked at him. "I have many times looked into your eyes and killed you. You have no stamina. You are a weak and puny thing who cries 'Enough' after only a few hours of coupling. We Peregrines are—" She didn't say any more because he started kissing her again.
It was in the middle of the third week that Zared's happiness came crashing down about her head. It was barely dawn, and since living with Tearle she had grown so lazy that they were still in bed when the door burst open.
One of Tearle's knights hurried into the room, his face red from exertion, veins pounding in his forehead. He was so out of breath that he could barely speak. "He comes."
Zared looked up, rubbing her eyes. She had been safe for so long that danger seemed a long-ago experience to her. She saw her husband nod at the man.
"How many?" Tearle asked.
"Hundreds. They come armed for war."
Again Tearle nodded. "Prepare the men. Remember they are to aim no weapon. These men are now my relatives. I will have no blood shed this day."
At the mention of blood Zared came fully awake and sat up, clutching the top sheet to her. "What has happened?"
Tearle dismissed his man, then turned to his wife. "Your brother has come with an army. I believe he means to kill me and take you to his home."
Zared didn't say a word, but felt as though the blood drained from her entire body. She started to roll to the far side of the bed, but Tearle caught her arm.
"Here, what is this you plan to do?"
"I will go to my brother. I will not allow him to kill you. You have been good to me."
His hand tightened on her forearm. "In spite of the fact that I am a Howard, I have been good to you." There was sarcasm in his voice. "And now you plan to leave me."
"I mean to stop a war!" she shouted.
"You mean to take care of this?" he asked softly.
"Aye." Her mind was working quickly. "I will tell my brother that I wanted to marry you. I will tell him that my lust overcame me. He might understand that. Although Rogan is a man of great honor. He would never allow his lust to make him do such a dishonorable thing as I have done. He would have died rather than marry the enemy, and he would have hated the enemy until the end of time. He would have not done as I have and come to… to care for the enemy."
Through this long speech Tearle had been silent, just looking at her.
"Do you mean to stay there all day?" she snapped at him. She didn't want to think that it was the last time she would probably ever see him again. She had no doubt that her brother would never allow her to remain with a Howard. Rogan would have the marriage annulled, saying that his sister did not have her brothers' permission to marry. "Why are you looking at me so strangely?"
"You still see me as a Howard, not as the man that I am. You still think that I am a weakling and that your brother, with his violent ways, is all-powerful. Can you not yet see that violence is not always the answer?"
She shook her head at him. "I will see if you say that when my brother's sword is moving toward your head." She went to the chest by the window, withdrew the clothes she had taken from the cook's son, and began to put them on.
"No!" Tearle said, bounding out of the bed. "You are no longer a boy. You are not a Peregrine boy, you are a Howard woman."