Remembrance

“What can console me now, this moment, for the loss of the son of this woman I loved so much?” Gilbert asked.

For a moment John was at a loss. What more could he give than everything he owned?

“There is a horse…,” Gilbert prompted. “And a few gold goblets. I need something to drink out of. But, alas, I have no wine in that old castle of mine. Perhaps a new roof might keep the rain out.”

With hatred boiling inside her, Alida listened for nearly an hour as her husband “bargained.” It could not rightfully be called bargaining, since John gave that contemptible man everything he asked for. He gave him wine and cattle and lead for his roof, as well as craftsmen to install the roof. He gave away the six gold goblets that Alida had brought to him upon their marriage. They were beautiful things, set with rubies, chased with designs of the lives of the saints, and her family had used them for generations. She had meant to give them to her eldest son’s family, but now they were going to this dirty man who she had no doubt would melt them down within hours of receiving them.

After a while she stopped looking at her husband and turned her attention to the sleeping children the wet nurse held. Here was the cause of all her problems.

Perhaps it was the years of misery, of the constant, ceaseless belittling from her husband. Maybe it was nineteen years of praying and not receiving what she begged for, but in that moment something inside Alida broke.

Alida could no longer believe she would ever win her husband’s favor. She had been a good wife to him, running his estates cleanly and efficiently. He never had any idea how things inside his houses got done, how food was properly cooked and put on the table. He left all of that to his wife, and Alida had done a brilliant job of it. She had managed servants while nearly constantly pregnant. When there were problems, and there were many, she took care of everything and her husband was never disturbed.

Now, after nineteen years of being an excellent wife to him, he was giving away everything that had been her family’s for centuries to a child who was of no relation to him. He was ignoring his own children, children who were intelligent as well as handsome, to bestow everything on that creature.

She looked at the black-haired child cradled in the fat arms of the wet nurse and a hatred such as she’d never before known existed came over her. And every fiber of her hatred was directed at the baby still sucking life from that farm woman. Already today the child had killed his mother and now he might as well have killed her too. He had robbed an entire family of its rightful inheritance, of its future.

15

I will name the boy,” John said and there was a new light in his eyes, a light that his wife had never seen before.

It was a full day since she had given birth and out of exhaustion she had been able to sleep, but not so John. He had insisted that a lawyer be brought to him straightaway and that documents be drawn up between him and Gilbert Rasher. He was afraid Gilbert would change his mind about the child and take him away.

After the papers were signed, John had gone to the wedding guests below and announced that he had been delivered of a son. For being able to give this lie without contradiction, he had agreed to pay Rasher three fields of grain every year for as long as the boy lived. This in addition to all the other riches he’d promised him.

There was much rejoicing when John told his news. To show off his new son, John snatched the boy away from the wet nurse and again the boy, as well as the girl, began to scream so loudly even the riotous laughter of the guests could not cover the noise.

Quietly, Meg went to John and handed him his daughter into the other arm and instantly the crying of both children stopped. For a moment John could not think what to do. He was terrified that the people would guess that the boy was not his and know that this girl was what his cursed wife had given him.

Gilbert, seeing the rage creeping up John’s neck, stepped forward and announced that since the children were born on the same day, they would be betrothed to each other.

At that there was more cheering and more drinking.

John glanced with disgust at the girl he held, looking as though he might drop her as he would any distasteful object.

“Hold my daughter up,” Gilbert said. “Let the people see how beautiful she is. None of you knew I could breed such beauty, did you?” Raucously, he winked at the crowd and they howled with laughter. Maybe Gilbert Rasher could have bee

n a handsome man, but he’d had a father who beat his nose flat and he’d been thrown from horses and hit with lances, and from the time he was ten, he’d fought every male and some females he came across. His face was now too distorted to know what he should have looked like.

“What are their names?” someone in the crowd called out.

“Yes, yes,” John answered, still annoyed at finding himself holding two children instead of the one he wanted.

“I will name him…” John looked up at the crowd and smiled. “I will name him after my father.” He smiled broader. “And myself, of course. I give you John Talis Hadley.” For a moment he was too overcome with emotion to speak but when he did, his voice trembled. “My son.”

The applause was thunderous as people were genuinely glad for him. Only one or two suspected the truth, but they were smart enough to keep their mouths shut.

“And, Gilbert,” someone yelled, “what of your daughter? What is her name?”

Since Gilbert had never in his life given a thought to something as mundane as naming his children, he was at a loss. For a moment he stood with his mouth opening and closing.

Greatly daring, Meg spoke up. “Callasandra,” she said loudly. “Do you not remember, my lord? You named the child Callasandra.” It was a name she had heard years before from some traveling players and she’d thought it was beautiful, almost as beautiful as the little girl.

The people around them toyed with this name for a while, then a woman said, “How very pretty,” and nodded her head in approval. Soon John was agreeing, as well as Gilbert, that this was the child’s name.

“Let me take them,” Meg said, slipping both the children from John. She could not bear to have them out of her arms for much longer.

While Meg sat in a corner and nursed the children, John announced that Gilbert was to marry John’s ten-year-old daughter and after a moment this news was greeted with great grumbling. Gilbert was not liked by anyone, but because of his connection to the court he was tolerated. But now that most of the people were drunk they had fewer inhibitions in showing their disgust at this man’s lechery of this innocent child.