Remembrance

At that Alida turned to face her, her eyes flashing brilliantly. “Talis!” she said with contempt. “You to marry Talis? Whatever made you think such a thing could be? You think you are so clever, yes, do not deny it, I know what you have been doing. You are no better than a greensleeves for the way you have thrown yourself at the feet of that dear, pure boy. But thank the Lord he has more sense than to throw himself away on the likes of you.”

Anger gave Alida energy. “How could you think yourself clever and not guess the truth? Everyone else has. Talis is not John Hadley’s son; he is Gilbert Rasher’s son. And you who think you are so important that you can disobey me, you are my daughter. You are merely the daughter of a lifetime peer, while Talis is related to the queen. Since Talis knows this, do you think he would go to bed with you and risk impregnating you? If he had to marry you, all he could hope for would be to become a knight. But as Gilbert Rasher’s son, he can go to court and marry according to his birthright. Do you not know how very proud Talis is? Do you not think he wants to marry into the royal family? His father wants to marry him to Arabella Stuart, and if he succeeds, Talis could become king.”

Alida lifted herself up on the bed. “Do you hear that? King! But what would he have if he was forced to marry you? And make no doubt of it that if he did go to bed with you, his sense of honor would force him to marry you. And what would he have then?”

Stretching, she moved closer to Callie, whose face by now was as white as parchment. “How can you be so selfish as to think only of yourself? Can you ask Talis to give up the possibility of being king in order to live with you in some farmer’s hut? For that is what he would have. His true father is coming here now to claim him and everyone knows Gilbert Rasher hasn’t two beans; his only wealth is in his son, Talis. If Talis refuses to go to court and claim what should be his, Rasher will cut young Talis off without a farthing. And my husband will be so angry he will give Talis nothing. All he will have left is that dirty farm he grew up on. How will you feel ten years from now to see your precious Talis bent and stooping over a plow, and knowing that only your lust and selfish motives kept him from the throne of England?”

Callie was too stunned to speak. Talis as king! It was how she had always thought of him, but was it what he truly wanted?

Taking advantage of Callie’s silence, Alida waved her hand. “Take her away to await the man’s maid.”

With her hand firmly on Callie’s arm, Penella pulled the girl into the little antechamber that adjoined Alida’s room. It was in here that Penella slept and spied on her mistress. Painstakingly, she had bored a hole through the wall so she could see and hear whatever her mistress did.

Penella could not bear to look at Callie’s face. Always pale, Callie now looked as though she were all eyes that stared out of hollow sockets, sightless, frightening eyes.

“Here, take this,” Penella said, not unkindly. She had found that with a full belly each night, her former fear and even her memory of those years in the kitchens were dulling and she could once again afford to give kindness.

Callie did not take the wine Penella offered, but turned beseeching eyes up to her. “If you have any mercy in your soul, help me get out of here. Help me to go to Talis. I must see him.”

“I cannot,” Penella said with finality. She was not going to lose all that meant so much to her just to save this chit of a girl. What did the girl mean to her?

“Please, I beg of you,” Callie said, clutching at Penella’s arm.

“No!” Penella said sharply, twisting away and meaning to put an end to the matter.

“You do not know what you are doing when you deny me this,” Callie whispered. “You do not know. Talis is my life. He is all to me. If I do not have him, I do not want life.”

Penella crossed herself at those words, then gave the girl a stern look, the look of an adult who knows everything. “You are just a child and you do not know what you say. You think you love this boy but love is based on years with a person. This man your mother has chosen for you is a good man; he will give you many children and—”

“If I cannot have Talis’s children, I do not want any.”

“You have no idea what you’re saying. Come, drink the wine. When you hold your first child in your arms you will be laughing over this.” Even as Penella said the words, she did not believe them. This was no child talking of losing a childhood sweetheart. There was indeed death in the girl’s eyes.

Callie collapsed on the small bed in the room, drew her knees into her chest and put her head down. “I wish I had burned up in that fire the day after I was born. I curse whoever saved me. I curse that person to the end of time.”

At t

hat epithet, Penella felt her body tremble. She did not know if she believed that a person could curse another throughout time, but if it were possible, she knew this girl was able.

Perhaps Penella was signing her own death warrant, but she could not stand by and let her selfish mistress have her way with other people’s lives. “Take this,” Penella said to Callie, handing her a silver candlestick, one that she had stolen from Lady Alida. “Take this and hit me with it, and when I am insensible, make your escape.”

Penella knew this was the coward’s way out, that being found unconscious and the girl gone put all the blame on Callie and none on her, but it was better than nothing. She had learned her lesson of protecting herself too well to risk everything now.

“Go on,” she urged Callie when she hesitated. “You must do it now while she sleeps. She will awaken soon and your chance will be gone.”

Callie hit Penella with the candlestick, but it was a blow that would not have hurt a kitten. But as the girl went running from the room, Penella took a small fruit knife and made a gash on the side of her head to give evidence that she could not have stopped the child.

“May the Lord watch over you,” Penella whispered as she looked out the window and saw the girl running toward the woods behind Hadley Hall. She dearly hoped that she never saw either Callie or Talis again; she prayed that they would escape.

39

Callie did not hesitate as she made her way to the shed that she and Dorothy had so cleverly prepared for the seduction of Talis. But that day Talis—damn him!—had been even more clever than they; he had found a way out of the shed. Had Callie thought it possible for him to go through the roof, she would have had bricks laid atop it.

But Callie had not thought of that means of escape, and as a result she was still a virgin, a marriageable woman. If he were given a great deal of money as well as the assurance that no man had touched her, that red-haired devil would accept her as his wife.

As Callie ran, she paused only long enough to remove Kipp from his hiding place under her skirt and pull him to her waist, where the little monkey hung on for dear life. Callie’s fear transmitted itself to him and he did not protest the bumpy ride.

When at last she reached the shed, she sat down in the midst of the clean straw she and Dorothy had had taken to the shed, the straw she had meant to use for her seduction of Talis, put her head on her knees and began to call Talis to her. Only once, as children, had they used it in earnest, and that was when Talis had been lost when he was a boy. Many times they had thought the same thing at the same time, arrived at the same place at the same time, but they had only laughed about the coincidence. And if either was hurt, the other always came right away.