ere capable of giving to each other. But for how much time must we sacrifice fire-burning, passionate love?”
“Well, what more do you expect from me, John? I tried my best to love you.”
“You don’t have to try when it’s love, Tammy,” I said, feeling pained over her statement, and the time we both lost.
“It’s not like we had the ideal love story. You know how bad I wanted to move to New York, but my father wanted me to stay and marry you. I did what I thought was best. And I thought we had grown to love each other.”
“The bar was set so low for love that we both failed to realize we were not giving or receiving genuine love. What we have done is learned to tolerate each other. Our fathers gelled us together and we could have crafted anything we wanted from that gel. But with your desire to have money, power and status, and with my heart filled with another woman, there was no room for our love to develop.”
“I didn’t desire money, power, and status.”
“You’re using your money, power, and status to humiliate Destiny. That’s why it’s so easy for you to dismiss her and invite the woman who is wreaking havoc on his life into our home. Never mind that Justine extorted money from my company by seducing the best damn VP of Finance the company has ever had. She did it all to spite our son and your allegiance to her has brought spite to us all. The concept of genuine love doesn’t register well with you.”
Tammy began wringing her hands together. Her voice shook as she said, “I may have gotten that one wrong, Johnny, but Justine just needs some mental help and she’s going to get through this. You’ll see.”
“Is that why you put the judge in your pocket who gave her special treatment in that Atlanta courthouse? You didn’t think I knew that, did you?” I asked. “I know every damn thing that happens in this family, even about your hidden bank accounts.”
Tammy’s eyes doubled in surprise, when I mentioned her accounts. “Those are just savings accounts, just so I can easily access the money in case something happened to you.”
“Millions of dollars that you’re saving! Money you’ve siphoned from our joint accounts and stowed away as if it’s your own personal money, Tammy?”
“I can have it back in our account tomorrow, if it’s that serious, John” Tammy said.
“Keep it, along with the settlement my lawyer is preparing for you,” I said, walking over to pour a glass of scotch. I didn’t usually drink so early in the day, but my nerves were in a bundle.
“A lawyer! You can’t be fucking serious about this,” Tammy yelled as she stormed toward me. “Now, Johnny, you are going too far for these damn niggers.”
I turned just as she was about to raise her hand to touch me and pushed her away. Her hands fell to her sides as I glared at her. “You are a sad excuse for a human being,” I said just as she started to say something else. “Earlier you asked me what more could I possibly want. I’ll tell you what I want. I want someone who looks at me after forty years and slaps the taste out of my mouth with so much passion that I remember a time when I loved so deeply that it hurt. I want a woman who stops time when I’m with her, and that’s what Clara does for me. So call her whatever you want, they are just words, but from this day forward never call yourself my wife, again.”
“Oh, hogwash! This is all a bunch of puppy love foolishness, Johnny. We are well into our sixties. We’re too old for bullshit!”
“If that’s foolishness and bullshit, say one thing about us that tops what I just said about Clara?” I waited a few seconds for an answer. “Okay, I’ll make this easy for you. When was the last time you told me you loved me?”
Tammy looked away from me as if the thought of saying I love you and looking at me couldn’t exist in the same space. “I said it to you a thousand times since we’ve been married.”
“But when was the last time, Tammy?”
“Johnny, I’ve said it to you.”
“Here, I’ll make this even easier for you. When was the last time you kissed me? Not a peck on each cheek like you would give any notable person, but a soul-stirring, warm-blooded kiss. When was the last time we shared something like that, huh?”
“Johnny, stop it. You know I don’t have a problem kissing you.”
I stepped closer to her and took her hand into mine. I pulled her toward me and looked into her eyes, searching the windows of her soul looking for the woman I asked to marry me. The woman who my parents thought was my perfect helpmate. The woman who I’d talked to hours on end when I was purging lingering thoughts of Clara Baker from my mind and heart.
In our own time, Tammy and I shared ideas, dreams and laughter. We had a connection once. When I thought I found that connection by looking in her eyes, I pulled her toward me for a kiss. Her head turned slightly and that kiss landed on her cheek.
“You see, this really isn’t a hard choice to make, Tammy. Our bed, as well as our hearts, has been cold for a long time. Like I said, my lawyer will get your paperwork to you as soon as possible.” Tammy stood there looking at me with a blank expression, so I continued. “You can take anything you bought over the years with you and you will get a handsome settlement. And, I wish you well,” I said as I turned to walk out the room.
“John, I am not divorcing you. Our fortieth anniversary gala is this year and I’ve already told my friends about it.”
“Call them back,” I tossed over my shoulder as I went into my study and locked the door.
Chapter 3
John
Family Business