“Don’t forget that he had no problem getting out of your bed of lust to go to another woman. If you accept him back, that will become a common feeling for you.”
“That’s just not true. You don’t know what you’re talking about!” I said, walking out of the room. “I’m finished with this conversation.”
“Get back in here, young lady! I ain’t raising no fool. Men like Jacob Turner always leave women like us alone, and then go and make a decent woman out of someone else,” Mama said following me into my room.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Mama.” I started to walk into my bathroom, but Mama rushed over and blocked me from closing the door.
“Baby, listen to me,” she said with tears building in the corners of her eyes. There was so much hurt in her eyes that I hugged her to console her.
“Mama, I hear you. I have no plan to call him, so as long as he stays away that will be my answer to everything.”
I had attempted to dial his number after I talked to Junior, but my pride wouldn’t let me dial the first digit. I didn’t have it in me to call Jacob. I felt he should be there for me without me reaching out for him.
“He’ll come back to hurt you again,” Mama said with certainty.
“Mama, please stop it.” I just wanted to drop the subject all together.
“You know why you never saw me with a man when you were younger?” she asked. “It’s because I didn’t want different men over my daughter. That doesn’t mean I was never in love.”
My mother never talked about her love life, so my interest was sparked by her admission. I let go of the bathroom door and went and sat on the side of the tub.
“A man cut from the same cloth of privilege as Jacob, stole my heart from my chest and I didn’t even know it was gone until it was too late. He put my heart in his pocket and carried it around everywhere he went. I didn’t even own it any longer. I was his without question. He was mine too.” She smiled, remembering pleasantries about this man she once loved. I’d never heard her talk about my father, so I only imagined she was talking about him.
“Out of nowhere, one day he came to me and said we couldn’t be together anymore. He’d gone and told his family about me and they weren’t too thrilled about their son picking up a woman from the other side of the tracks. His family had too much at stake for him to be dating an afro puff, plaid-suit wearing girl who lived on a dirt road. Even though my family scraped and scrubbed to get me into the same college as him, I was not good enough.
The day he came and told me that we couldn’t be together was the last I heard from him. After him, I didn’t date until I met your father. Besides giving me you, your father was the worst thing that could have happened to me. He was so bad to me that I gave up on love. From that day forward, I loved you.”
It was sad to hear that my mother was never in love with my father. “Mama, I’m so sorry that happened to you,” I said going to hug her.
“Don’t be sorry for me. Just cut Jacob completely off. He’s going to cause you so much heartache and pain. I just know it!” Mama said, grabbing her chest as if she felt the pain already.
“Are you okay, Mama?” I asked and she nodded. “I’m sorry I’m causing you to worry.”
“Don’t be sorry for me, Destiny. Just do what I ask, so you won’t be a sixty something year old woman still feeling sorry for yourself.”
“I’m trying to do what’s best for me, Mama,” I said honestly.
“Oh, God honey. You may be in love, but you are not stupid. You gave Montie hell because he wasn’t there for you and the kids. Yet, you give Jacob a pass for bringing you so much pain in such a short amount of time.”
Mama shook her head.
“I don’t think this conversation is going anywhere.”
“And neither is your relationship,” Mama said glaring at me.
“I’m done.” I waved my hand and signaled for Mama to leave out of my bathroom. She walked out and I closed the door behind her.
“One day, you will listen to this old woman. I’ve been in this world long enough and experienced more than I hope you’ll ever know,” Mama said on the other side of the door.
CHAPTER NINE
Jacob
Discrepancy
I was tired of looking at numbers on the computer screen. I buzzed my secretary as I thought about where I would rather be than dealing with this mess.
“Wanda?” I said pushing through my weariness.