He ran a finger across the side of my face, pushing any loose strands of hair behind my ear. He then inched his arms around my waist, while turning me to face him. “And I think you are wrong. Last night was not just some fluke. We are meant to be,” he added.
“I think it would be best for everyone involved, if we…” He tugged me closer.
“What about what I think?” he said, squeezing my back gently. “What if I want what happened last night to happen every night for the rest of my life?”
“Montie… It can’t…” I said when he leaned down and began scattering kisses over my neck. I grudgingly pulled away. “We can’t keep doing this to ourselves. We are divorced, and there are reasons for that.”
“Okay, let’s talk about the reasons.” He relinquished his grip on me and leaned up against the kitchen counter. “Did I ever cheat on you?”
“No,” I said, turning around to face his intense stare.
“Did I ever hit you?”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Have you ever needed something that I didn’t work my ass off to give you?”
“No, that has never happened,” I said becoming increasingly annoyed by his questions.
“Did I ever do anything that would lead to another woman standing over you with a pistol?”
“NO!” I said, furious that I allowed such turmoil into my life, including making love to Montie. “None of that matters! You had your pitfalls. You forgot about me. You didn’t cheat on me with a woman, but you married your business and you divorced me without putting up a fight. You forgot you had a family. You didn’t see Montana’s first steps and you were too busy to watch the video. You didn’t want to go to any of Junior’s T-ball games. You were too busy. You were always too busy, until you realized there was a man that would make time.”
“I had tunnel vision, so what? I still wanted the best for us. I didn’t know how to make you understand that then and I still don’t.” He looked defeated as he added, “You go out here and find a silver-spoon fed man who was been spoon fed money since he was old enough to eat solid food, and you talk about how much time he spends with you. I had to work long and hard hours for every penny I have.
I came from nothing, so I had to hustle for every dime. Those dimes got turned into dollars and dollars into hundreds of thousands. Sorry if I wasn’t home at night or cheering Montana’s first steps on, but,” he took a look around at the house, “I wanted to be able to build this house from the ground up. I wanted to be able to give you a car that wouldn’t clunk out on you at every stoplight. I wanted you to be able to look at me as a man and not as some charity case.”
“Montie, I never looked at you as a charity case. I loved your ambition, but money isn’t everything to me and you know that. I will live in a dirt hut as long as there is love and interaction there.”
“That’s easy to say when you’ve never been so broke that you couldn’t eat for days,” Montie said, remembering tougher times for him and his eight siblings. “You can say that, because you never had to look into the downtrodden eyes of the very people who are supposed to provide for you and know that they can’t work any harder than they’re working, and it’s still not enough.”
“Montie, I understand your story better than anyone else and you know that. It is part of what made me fall in love with you.” I gazed into his brown eyes. “It’s just that I can’t lead you on. I’m in love with Jacob.”
“Wow, after all that has been said and done that cuts deep,” Montie said on a deep sigh.
“The last thing I want to do is cut you, but we have to turn back the hands of time to before last night and forget it ever happened,” I said, as I stepped away from him.
“Is that really what you want?”
“Yes, I do, at least until I can figure things out.”
“I guess I can live with that. Until you can figure things out means there’s a chance you will realize I’m the man for you.”
I looked at Montie and gave him a reassuring nod. By God, I would have to be a blind woman not to see that he was slowly and meticulously breaking down the wall I’d built for him. I was starting to recognize the man I used to love again, and he had that same sexy look he had when we were dating. I had to look away before I got caught up all over again.
“Let’s make the kids some breakfast. They’ll be up soon,” I said, turning to pick up the pan I had pulled down before he came in.
“Sure,” he said, walking to the sink to wash his hands. “I’ll let it go for now, but this conversation is not over.”
“Deal,” I said as we began to prepare a breakfast with chocolate chip waffles, bacon, and hot grits. It felt like the good old times as we moved about the kitchen. I couldn’t help but wonder if that wouldn’t be so bad after all.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Destiny
I Am Not Yours
Another week passed and still not a word from Jacob. Montie didn’t go home at night, as we had planned. He stayed at my house, on guard, in case Justine had an inkling to finish what she started. I’d been informed by the courts that her parents were allowed to post bail a few days after she was released from the hospital. She apparently had pulled her crazy card and the courts fell for it.