Cotillion

‘Yes, yes, you like him better than any of your cousins!’ said Kitty. ‘He won’t call you out, I promise you!’

‘Mama says he won’t, but I don’t know. Mama says you won’t marry him. Says she knew it all along. Says if I do the thing right you’ll marry me. Says—’

‘She says that I shall like to be a Countess, and you have only to tell me of all the advantages which would be mine, if I married you, for me to accept your offer!’ interrupted Kitty. ‘But this is all nonsense, Dolph, and there is nothing to put you in this taking! You may tell your Mama that you did her bidding, and I refused to listen to you.’

He shook his head. ‘Don’t understand. Haven’t thought! I have. People may say I can’t think, but I can. Often think for hours and hours. Thought about this. See it all. You refuse me—can’t come here any more—shan’t see Hannah—put a period to my existence! Only thing is, able to swim! Shouldn’t like to put a pistol to my head. At least,’ he added, ‘don’t think I should. Got peppered in the leg by a careless fellow once. Didn’t like it above half.’

Considerably frightened, Kitty knelt beside his chair, and took his hand, and patted it. ‘No, no, Dolph! Pray do not talk in that wild fashion! I do understand!—I understand perfectly! It is all my fault for not having thought of a way to help you all this time! But I will get you out of this fix!’

‘You will?’ said his lordship anxiously.

‘I will!’ she declared. ‘Oh, dear, it seems as though everything has come upon me at the same time! First, Camille, and then Fish, and now—’ She broke off, as an idea occurred to her, and suddenly raised her eyes to his lordship’s face, staring fixedly at him.

‘You think you can get me out of it?’ he said, a glimmer of hope in his eye.

‘Wait!’ said Kitty. She sat back on her heels, her brows knitted, and her gaze intent upon the wall.

His lordship waited obediently, watching her with very much the air of an expectant dog. All at once, her face broke into smiles, and she turned to him, seizing both his hands, and saying impulsively: ‘I have it! How can I have been such a goose as not to have thought of it before? My poor, dear Fish! It is all her doing! You shall marry Miss Plymstock, and I can contrive it so that Freddy shall incur not the smallest blame for it! The only thing is—Dolph, should you object to deceiving your Mama?’

‘You think I could do that?’ he asked intently.

‘You could, if I showed you how it may be done, and told you several times what you must say to her.’

‘Yes, I could,’ agreed his lordship, pleased to find his powers recognized. ‘Like to do it!’

‘To be sure you would! Now, listen carefully, Dolph! I find myself obliged to go to Arnside, and you shall take me! You will tell your Mama that you did just as she bade you, and I said that I was willing to marry you, if Uncle Matthew would consent to it, only I must see him face to face, to explain the matter to him. Have you understood that, Dolph? Very well! You will tell her that you mean to take me to Arnside tomorrow—Oh, Dolph, will she let you take me in your own carriage? I believe the post charges are shockingly dear, and I daresay you would find it as hard to lay your hand upon a large sum of money as I should!’

‘Take you in my own carriage,’ he repeated, showing his comprehension, and keeping his eyes fixed on her face in a painful effort of concentration.

‘Yes, I think she will raise no demur,’ decided Kitty. ‘And there can be no fear of her coming with us, because Uncle Matthew has sworn he will not allow her to enter his house again, and she must know he meant it, because the last time she came he made Stobhill bolt all the doors, and shouted to her out of the window of his dressing-room that she was to go away. Poor Fish had one of her worst spasms, and I must own that it was shockingly uncivil of Uncle Matthew! Well, then, Dolph, you shall bring your carriage here tomorrow morning, quite early, remember, because I particularly wish to be gone out of town before noon! And I will arrange for Hannah to be here, as though she came with me to bear me company, you know, and we will drive away, all three of us! And we shall not go to Arnside, but to Garsfield Rectory!’

‘Go to Garsfield Rectory,’ agreed his lordship, puzzled but trusting.

She gave him a little shake. ‘To Hugh, Dolph! You know he is the Rector! He can marry you to Hannah, and then you will be safe, and Hannah will not permit your Mama to tease you ever again! And your Mama will not question the propriety of your taking a valise with you, because she will expect us to remain at Arnside for the night! It is the most famous scheme, and the best of it is that Freddy need have nothing to do with it! It will be all my fault, and no one will be able to blame him in the least degree!’

It took time and patience to instill his rôle into Lord Dolphinton’s slow mind, but once he had thoroughly grasped the ramifications of the plot he became so enthusiastic that he was with difficulty dissuaded from accompanying Kitty upon a visit to Keppel Street. She thought it wiser that he should not go with her, however, having little dependence on his discretion, and a lively apprehension that his presence would set Hannah’s sharp-eyed sister-in-law very much upon her guard. Having assured herself that he did indeed understand what he was expected to do, and promised to send him word if some accident should prevent Miss Plymstock from playing her part in the affair, she saw him off the premises, and at once sped forth to Keppel Street.

She had the good fortune to find Miss Plymstock alone, and had no difficulty in making her understand what was purposed for her benefit. Miss Plymstock heard her in calm, attentive silence, shook hands with her in a very painful way, and said gruffly: ‘Don’t know how to thank you, but I daresay you can guess what I should wish to say to you, Miss Charing. You may depend upon me! If her ladyship has taken to frightening Foster again, there ain’t a moment to be lost. I won’t have her driving him out of his wits, that’s certain! You don’t need to tease yourself, wondering what will happen when I’ve married him: I’ll take care of that! Only let me get his ring on my finger, and I shall know how to do! I ain’t afraid of her ladyship, nor of anyone, and I don’t mean to let her come

next or nigh poor Foster. I daresay there will be a great deal of botheration, not to say unpleasantness, over his money, and that, but I’m prepared for it, and I have a smart lawyer in my eye, who will very likely settle it all in a trice. And if she thinks to make that nasty doctor of hers say that Foster’s mad, we’ll see what my doctor, that’s an honest, sensible man, will say to that! He ain’t mad! And if he were, why, it’s the business of his lawful, wedded wife to take care of him, and so my lady will discover before she is much older!’ She nodded her head in a determined way, but after dwelling for a moment or two, in brooding silence, upon the prospect of utterly confounding her future mother-in-law, brought her thoughts back to the immediate present, and said briskly: ‘I shan’t breathe a word to my brother, Miss Charing. Time enough to tell him what’s become of me when I’m Lady Dolphinton! But it won’t do for me to be seen walking out of here tomorrow with a portmanteau, or some such thing. If I was to put up what I shall be needing at once, before Sister comes back, do you think, Miss Charing, you could be so obliging as to carry it away with you to Berkeley Square? You must know that commonly I go shopping for Sister in the mornings, so that any little thing I might be needing tonight I can pop into my basket tomorrow, and none the wiser.’

Kitty readily acquiesced in this scheme, and accompanied Miss Plymstock upstairs to her bedchamber to assist her with her packing. She soon found, however, that Miss Plymstock needed no assistance. Having unearthed from an attic at the top of the house a modest valise, she dumped this on the floor of her room, took a rapid survey of her wardrobe, and made an instant and practical selection of the garments to take with her. These were swiftly bestowed in the valise; Miss Plymstock carried it downstairs herself; and, having made sure the servants were not within sight, let herself and Kitty out of the house, saying briefly: ‘I’ll carry it till we find a hack, if you please!’

This was soon done; Miss Plymstock once more wrung Kitty’s hand, said fiercely: ‘Wish I knew how I could be of service to you!’ and walked off before Kitty could reply.

It was not to be expected that Meg would accept without question Kitty’s sudden decision to go to Arnside before Freddy’s return to town, nor did she do so. After listening with astonishment to Kitty’s manufactured explanation, she demanded to be told the truth, saying that she had never listened to such a bamboozling story in her life.

‘But, Meg, indeed I think that I should go to Fish at once! And Freddy will scarcely wish to leave town again so soon after his journey from Oxford!’

‘Kitty, I know this is a take-in! I warned Freddy that you would run off with Dolphinton, if he did not take care, but I didn’t really believe you would! But—’

Kitty laughed. ‘I should hope not indeed! How can you be so nonsensical? I promise you I will never do that! Now, Meg, you may be perfectly easy, because I have asked my friend, Miss Plymstock, if she will go with me—to lend me countenance, you know, and make everything quite proper!’

‘You don’t mean that odd-looking creature who came here one day, and took you out walking?’ gasped Meg. ‘Well! I’m sure I don’t wish to offend you, but I must say, Kitty, that you have the strangest friends! And as for needing her to make it proper, fiddlesticks! One would imagine you meant to go on a journey to Scotland, instead of to Arnside! I wish you will tell me what you are about! I have a strong notion I ought not to let you go. Freddy will say so, depend upon it, and I shall be quite in disgrace with him.’

‘No, that you will not, for he won’t be vexed,’ Kitty assured her. ‘He knows, in part, already, and I will write a letter, which you may give him when he comes to see you tomorrow, explaining the rest. I promise you, Meg, I don’t mean to do anything he would not like. I could not!’

‘If you think he will not object, why must you be so secret?’ asked Meg reasonably.