Cotillion

‘An unlikely contingency!’ said the Rector.

‘On the contrary, nothing could be more likely! My uncle is not in his dotage, as well we know; and if the Fish is much above forty, I have been strangely misinformed!’

Kitty could not repress a giggle. ‘Oh, dear, how ridiculous it would be! I must go to Arnside as soon as I may.’

‘Let that be immediately!’ said Mr Westruther.

‘It cannot be immediately, Jack! I told you that we were all in an uproar here! I have been so stupid, and if poor Dolph’s plans are overset through it I shall never, never forgive myself!’

‘That ain’t so,’ interrupted Miss Plymstock, who had been engaged in quietly explaining to Lord Dolphinton the meaning of a dialogue that was rather too swift for him to follow. ‘It’s my blame, Miss Charing, and don’t you think I shall be trying to lay it at your door, for that I shall never do!’

‘Oh, Jack!’ said Kitty distressfully. ‘Never mind about Uncle Matthew for a moment! I brought Dolph and Miss Plymstock here, so that Hugh might marry them, and I was such a goose that I forgot—at least, I never knew, and that is stupider than anything! Hugh says they must have a special licence, and they have not got one!’

‘In that case,’ said Mr Westruther, ‘you have wasted your time. May I suggest that you waste no more time, but that you turn your mind instead to—’

‘Jack, if they must have a licence, could not you get it for them? Are such things to be procured in London? Do they, perhaps, cost a great deal of money?’

‘Yes,’ said Mr Westruther, ‘they do, my dear Kitty! And if you are indulging your imagination with the notion that I mean to drive to London and back for no better purpose than to provide Dolphinton, in whose affairs I take not the smallest interest, with a marriage-licence, you very much mistake your man!’

She laid a hand on his sleeve. ‘No, no, Jack, you cannot be so disobliging!’ she said pleadingly. ‘It is vital to Dolph’s happiness!’

He looked down at her, a mocking smile in his eyes. ‘I am quite unmoved, Kitty. Show me that it is vital to my happiness, and I might oblige you!’

She stared up in this face with puckered brows. ‘To yours? What can you mean?’

He lifted her hand from his arm, and held it. ‘My dear Kitty, let us have done! Between us, we might, I fancy, induce my uncle to change his mind.’

An indignant flush rose to her cheeks; she pulled her hand away, saying hotly: ‘I don’t wish him to change his mind! I hope very much that he will marry Fish!’

His brows snapped together. ‘A sentiment that no doubt does credit to your heart, but very little to your head, believe me!’ He broke off, as Lord Dolphinton, uttering a strangled sound, almost leaped from his chair. ‘What the devil ails that lunatic?’ he demanded irritably.

‘Listen!’ gasped his lordship, fixing dilating eyes upon the window.

The rest of the company now became aware that some vehicle had drawn up outside the Rectory. Kitty ran to the window, and peered out. It was by this time too dark for her to be able to distinguish any object, but she could perceive the glow of carriage-lamps beyond the hedge, and could distinctly hear the fidgeting and blowing of horses. She said uneasily: ‘It sounds as though there are more than two horses. But it could not be your Mama, Dolph!’

Lord Dolphinton, feeling no such certainty, made a bolt for the cupboard, but was intercepted by the Rector, who took his arm in a firm grip, and said in a voice of authority: ‘Foster, I will not suffer you to behave in this nonsensical fashion! Now, calm yourself! In this house, you are perfectly safe, whoever may have come to visit me. For shame! Do you mean to leave Miss—er—Plymstock to face what you imagine to be a danger!’

‘Both go into the cupboard!’ suggested his lordship imploringly.

‘Certainly not! You will protect Miss Plymstock,’ said Hugh.

Rather to Kitty’s surprise, these stern words appeared to inspire Dolphinton with courage. He

gulped, but made no further attempt to reach his refuge. The sound of the knocker on the front-door did indeed make him jump, and shudder, but he said resolutely: ‘Protect Hannah!’ and stood his ground.

Mr Westruther drew his snuff-box from his pocket, and flicked it open. ‘If someone would have the goodness to inform me whether I am assisting at a tragedy or a farce I should be grateful,’ he said sardonically.

The housekeeper’s unmistakeable tread was heard, followed by the sound of a lifting latch. Lord Dolphinton acquired a firm hold on Miss Plymstock’s hand, and swallowed convulsively.

‘Affording protection, or seeking it?’ drawled Mr Westruther, taking a pinch of snuff from his box, and expertly shaking all but a grain or two from between his finger and thumb.

The door into the parlour was opened. ‘Mr Standen, sir,’ announced Mrs Armathwaite placidly.

Surprise held the company silent for perhaps thirty seconds. Mr Standen, not a hair out of place, walked into the room, found that five pairs of eyes were staring at him in astonishment, and said apologetically: ‘Thought you might be needing me! No wish to intrude!’

Kitty found her voice. ‘Freddy!’ she cried thankfully, hurrying towards him. ‘Oh, how glad I am to see you! We are in such a dreadful fix, and I don’t know what to do!’

‘Thought very likely you would be,’ said Freddy. ‘Not sure, mind you, but I’d a strong notion you’d forgot to buy the special licence.’