Cotillion

‘Why, Hugh!’ exclaimed Kitty. ‘I do believe you are quite cross because it was Freddy who knocked him down, and not you!’

‘I would remind you, Kitty, that I am in Holy Orders,’ said the Rector austerely. ‘And let me tell you that if I had chosen to come to fisticuffs with Jack—However, we have said enough on this subject! The licence which Freddy has handed to me does indeed enable me to marry you to Miss Plymstock, Foster, but it in no way alters my reluctance to do so. Pray do not misunderstand me, ma’am! I do not wish to oppose the marriage. From what I have observed, I am inclined to think that Foster would derive considerable benefit from it.’

‘Well, for the lord’s sake, Hugh, stop prosing!’ recommended Freddy. ‘Dashed if you aren’t as bad as Kit’s French cousin!’

The Rector cast him a withering look. ‘Have the goodness not to interrupt me, Freddy! While I am prepared to support Foster in his determination to marry Miss Plymstock, I cannot approve of his clandestine way of going about the business.’

‘What you mean, old fellow,’ said the irrepressible Mr Standen, ‘is that you don’t want to be mixed up in it. Scared of Aunt Dolphinton.’

‘I am not in the least scared of Aunt Dolphinton!’

‘Well, if you ain’t scared of her, you’re scared of what the rest of ’em will say. Don’t blame you: told Kit I’d as lief have nothing to do with it myself. However, shouldn’t be surprised if the family thought you’d done the right thing. I can tell you one who will, and that’s m’mother. What’s more, there’s two of us in it. I won’t hedge off.’

The Rector hesitated. ‘That is all very well, but—’

‘I’ll tell you what it is, Hugh: no sense in refusing! Paltry thing to do, because if you won’t come up to scratch there’ll be nothing for it but for me to take ’em to the next parish first thing tomorrow morning, and hand ’em over to the parson there.’

Miss Plymstock was moved to grasp him by the hand, saying warmly: ‘You’ve got a great deal of common-sense, Mr Standen, and I like you for it!’

‘You like Freddy too?’ said Lord Dolphinton, pleased. ‘I like Freddy! I like him—’

‘Now you’ve set him off again!’ said Freddy reproachfully.

‘That will do, Foster!’ said the Rector. ‘If you are determined on this course, I will perform the ceremony.’

‘Then that’s settled all right and tight,’ said Freddy. ‘They’ll have to stay here till the knot’s tied, but you won’t mind that. Going to drive Kit to Arnside now, but we’ll come over in the morning, and take ’em to Church.’

Miss Charing, blinking at these competent plans, said: ‘Yes, but, Freddy, where are they to go when they are married? The thing is, you see, that it will take a little time for Hannah’s lawyer to settle everything with Dolph’s Mama, and until it is all quite safe she does not wish Lady Dolphinton to see Dolph, and also they will not have any money, which makes it particularly awkward for them.’

‘I shall be happy to offer you the hospitality of my house for as long as you wish to remain here, Miss Plymstock,’ said the Rector, untruthfully, but in a very Christian spirit.

‘No, that won’t do,’ said Freddy, considering

the matter. ‘Aunt Dolphinton’s bound to come after them. Don’t see how you could keep her out. They’ll have to go to Arnside.’

‘Arnside?’ repeated Kitty blankly. ‘Freddy, they could not!’

‘Yes, they could. I don’t say it’s where I’d choose to spend my honeymoon, but there’s nothing else for it. Thing is, it’s the one place my aunt dashed well can’t get into. Told me yourself the old gentleman had all the doors barred against her!’

‘Yes, he did, but you know how much he dislikes to have guests staying with him! He would never permit them to do so!’

‘Got a strong notion he will,’ said Freddy darkly. ‘Going to tell him it’ll make Aunt Dolphinton as mad as fire if he does. Lay you odds that card will take the trick! Shouldn’t wonder at it if it put him in high croak, what’s more.’

‘Freddy, you are perfectly right!’ said Miss Charing, awed. ‘Nothing ever puts him in such spirits as being disagreeable to Dolph’s Mama! I daresay he will be very much obliged to us for putting him in the way of serving her such a turn!’

‘Just what I was thinking,’ nodded Freddy. ‘Going to tell ’em to put the horses to now. No sense in dawdling here any longer: might put the old gentleman in a bad temper if we were late.’

The Rector begged them to dine with him, but they were resolute in declining the invitation. Kitty put on her bonnet and pelisse, the chaise was bought to the front-gate, and after faithfully promising to return in time to support the bride and groom through the wedding ceremony on the morrow, Mr Standen and his betrothed left the Rectory.

‘Oh, Freddy, what a day this has been!’ sighed Miss Charing, sinking back against the squabs of the chaise.

‘Devilish!’ he agreed. ‘Brushed through it pretty well, though. All we have to do now is to see ’em safely married, and then we can be comfortable. Mind, there may be a kick-up over the business, but we can’t help that.’

‘I know it, and I wanted so much not to drag you into it!’ said Kitty remorsefully. ‘I thought, if only you knew nothing about it, it would serve as a reason for you to put an end to our engagement!’

‘Yes, I know you did. Told me so, in that letter you wrote me. Dashed cork-brained notion! Stands to reason if you’re in it I must be too.’

‘No, Freddy, it does not,’ said Kitty, in a constricted tone. ‘You know it is all a hoax, our engagement. I am determined to end it. I ought never, never to have thought of such a thing!’