“Night. You have a nice time now with your family. And see you tomorrow. At work.” He chose his words carefully, reminding them both about the two big reasons they couldn’t do anything foolish.
“Just think about it,” Jacob urged.
“It’s cake time!” someone called from the house, saving Linc from answering. But he would. He’d think about it all right. He’d think about it tonight, alone in his bed. And probably tomorrow, in the shower. And he’d want it, just like he had for years now, every cell in his body aware of what he could have but wouldn’t allow himself. Lord, how he’d want it, especially now that Jacob had made this diabolical little offer. One night.
And it didn’t help that a small piece of himself kept whispering, It might work. Never know. It could work. That part was wrong, of course, but it spoke to his want, wormed its way into his thoughts until he wasn’t sure how long his willpower could hold out.
Chapter Seven
Jacob guessed he was supposed to regret his proposition to Linc, was maybe supposed to be embarrassed and contrite that Linc had turned him down. Again. But he wasn’t, not even when Monday morning rolled around and he had to face another week of training with the guy. No matter what Linc thought, fucking wasn’t a terrible idea at all. They had something hanging between them, had for years now, and if Linc wasn’t ever going to come down from his high horse and give things a real go, getting it out of their systems made the most sense. A sexual exorcism or something. Anything was better than all this pointless wanting and not having.
And Linc had kissed him, taken the initiative, twice now. He’d as much as told Jacob that he wanted him. That coupled with the fire in his eyes when he thought no one was looking made Jacob bolder than he’d otherwise be. And he’d persisted in large part because Linc’s reasons for not giving in to what they both wanted were so damn flimsy, especially now.
“You got a bed, Linc?” he’d asked when Linc had finally pulled back from the kiss, just enough to rest his head against Jacob’s. Calling that fireball a kiss was a disservice to all the sweet, gentle kisses out there, but damn if Jacob didn’t want more. They’d ground together, fitting together like gears finally sliding into place, and he’d been just this side of coming in his suit pants when Linc pulled back.
“A what?” Linc blinked, still looking every bit as grief-stricken as before the kiss.
“Bed. Let’s go to bed.” He rubbed Linc’s shoulder, the need to touch and soothe every bit as strong as the lust. “Let me make you forget...everything. At least for a little while.”
Maybe it was the tenderness that Linc didn’t want, the sympathy and understanding. Or maybe it was the need to be decisive, to actively choose to go to bed with Jacob as opposed to more or less falling into that kiss. But whatever it was, Linc stepped all the way back, shaking his head. “We can’t.”
“Sure we can. What’s the point of holding out anymore anyway? Wyatt’s gone and—”
“You need to leave.” Linc’s voice was low, a tone that brooked no further arguments and had him feeling small and ashamed. He hadn’t meant he was glad about Wyatt, not at all, but more that all this wanting-but-not-doing was stupid and pointless and had been for years.
And now it was months later, and the memory still made him the same mix of horny and guilty and frustrated. Linc needed to listen to reason, at least once in his life. But Jacob had said his piece at his mom’s party, made the offer. The ball was in Linc’s court now, and Jacob wasn’t going to keep pushing, especially not when they had work to do.
At least they had a busy week in front of them—more jumps, more team building, pack-out practice with hauling gear long distances, and some actual forest work too, the other less exciting but no less important part of their job as they worked to prevent the sort of large-scale fires that necessitated emergency operations. Controlled burns, tree removal, brush piling, construction and other maintenance jobs were a big part of what they did. Which meant he wasn’t surprised when a good chunk of their drizzly Monday was spent with chainsaws whirring, out on assignment, practicing some of their skills on an active forest management project.
“This is key because later this week we’re practicing cargo drops and some jumps with gear. We’ll do some tree removal in a remote drop site, then pack out to a rendezvous point, a light version of what we’ll do during the fire season,” Linc explained as they packed their equipment into forest service trucks before heading to the project.