Up in Smoke (Hotshots 4)

“Everything good with you?” Brandt asked as they stopped in front of a display of chips. He tossed a bag into the basket Shane was holding.

“Yeah. It’s fine.” Shane wasn’t an idiot. Brandt was referring to the phone call earlier, but he wasn’t ready to talk about that, not now with Jewel sick and Brandt needing him and his own feelings a tangled-up mess.

“You could tell me if it wasn’t.” Brandt’s persistence was unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome. Maybe he cared more than Shane thought. They’d been the sort of friends who could unload after a long day for a bit, but Brandt voluntarily offering to hear Shane’s problems felt significant somehow. And even more reason to not burden him with this.

“Thanks.” He didn’t elaborate but he did give Brandt what he hoped was a grateful smile. If they were alone, he’d touch his arm, but a family of four was a few feet away, as was an elderly couple browsing painkillers.

“Okay.” Brandt nodded and headed for the cold case. He’d dropped the matter rather easily, and Shane trailed behind him.

“What are you doing?”

“You don’t want to talk, but you’re in a crap mood, and the doctor said we might have a late night.” Brandt opened one of the freezer doors. “Ice cream might not help any of that, but it sure can’t hurt.”

“True that.” They reached for the cherry chocolate chip at the same time, which earned him a lopsided grin from Brandt before the carton landed in the basket. Shane was officially not going to survive this man, who not only wasn’t pushing but who was still trying to make things better, even amid all the worries for Jewel and his own trying day.

Shane didn’t deserve him, that much was for sure. Words tumbled over each other in his brain as he tried to sort out what to say that wasn’t trite and wasn’t too much.

“Wilder? Your prescriptions are ready.” The pharmacy tech saved him from his indecision as she called Brandt’s name. Which was also Jewel’s and a nice reminder that the two of them were a unit, and Shane was the bonus helper who didn’t entirely belong but also wasn’t an outsider. It was a weird no-man’s land of both wanting more and not being sure he could handle more. And it wasn’t like he could name that want either, couldn’t quantify it even as it weighed him down, made his shoulders slump and his step slow.

And his muddled thoughts continued even once they were back at the house, trying to get the medicine into the baby and then get her to sleep in her crib. They patted. They walked. They bounced. Shane sang and sang. Brandt rocked. And right when Shane was about to give up and propose Brandt at least go sleep himself, she settled and let them creep from the room.

“Wow. I think she’s actually out,” Shane whispered once they were in the hallway.

“Shush. Don’t jinx it.” Brandt put a finger on Shane’s lips before heading down the hall and into the kitchen. “And we’ve absolutely earned that ice cream now. Your poor throat.”

“There are certainly more fun ways to strain it,” Shane agreed as he grabbed some spoons and bowls. God, he was so tired that even the thought of sex didn’t rouse him. There was a serious risk of him falling asleep mid ice cream, let alone trying for any mouth action of the more fun variety.

“I can think of a few.” Brandt’s leer was similarly strained and he let out a long yawn. “Later.”

“I feel you. So tired.” Leaning against the counter, Shane stretched his neck.

“Come on.” Not waiting for Shane, Brandt took the ice cream and headed back down the hall to his room.

“What are we doing?” Shane trailed behind him, stopping in the doorway as Brandt set the ice cream on the nightstand before pulling off his shirt.

“Ice cream in bed.” Brandt said this like it was the most normal occurrence in the world, something they did nightly.

“Kinky.” Barely managing a laugh, Shane followed Brandt’s lead and stripped down to his boxers before joining him under the covers.

“Hardly.” Brandt grabbed one of the spoons and offered Shane the other. “I bet we pass out before the pint is empty.”

“I’ll take that bet.” Apparently, they were going to eat right out of the carton, making this even more cozy and domestic and sweet. So sweet he almost couldn’t stand it. “And I’ll take the wakeups. You’ve got an early morning. You sure you don’t want me sleeping in there with her?”

“Nah. That bed in there is crap.” Brandt caught a drip of ice cream with his tongue and suddenly Shane’s dick wasn’t so sleepy after all.

“So you’re saving my back?” he pressed, that same urge from earlier driving him, wanting to matter to Brandt, wanting to be needed for more than a spare set of hands.