High Heat (Hotshots 2)

“Exactly.” Rain exhaled hard but didn’t pull his hand away. “That’s what I’ve been wrestling with. Trying to figure out how to explain precisely that. Dreams change. Like, maybe at the start of the summer I did want to make a hotshot crew. I wasn’t lying about that or about wanting an adventure, wherever the universe wanted to send me. But then the weeks passed, and working out became less about a ticket away from this place and more about spending time with you. I thought less and less about the job potential and more about us.”

“I like spending time with you too. Hey, you even got me knitting.” He laughed, then sobered because this was an important point. “But I want you to have everything you want—adventure included.”

“That’s the thing. I always thought I’d have to go away to find the perfect adventure. Away from the cohousing community where I grew up. Away from Portland when the right situation didn’t materialize there. Away from here because I was bored at first with nothing to do. But the more I think about the future, the more it seems like maybe staying—like actually putting down roots somewhere—that might be its own sort of adventure.”

“I don’t disagree, but you’re twenty-three. I’m not saying you’re wrong or trying to say I know your heart better, but settling down...that’s a big decision. It’s taken me a lot of years to get to that point myself.”

“Maybe not all of us are on the same timeline.” Rain gave him an arch look, and okay, Garrick could be honest with himself now that maybe Lisa leaving had been more of mutual thing, neither of them truly ready for that kind of commitment. He’d had a lot of growing up and maturing left to do to get to this new place where he could handle the sort of relationship and feelings that came with caring for someone as deeply as he did Rain.

“Point taken. But even if you don’t need as many years as I did to figure out what you truly want, it’s okay to want to have fun and follow your whims and take different risks and gain unique experiences. There’s nothing wrong with your drive for adventure, even if that leads away from here.”

A group of birds flew up from beyond the basketball courts, heading out for parts unknown. Hard as it was to picture a life away from this place, what Garrick wanted most of all was for Rain to have the opportunity to truly grow and flourish, find his wings, whatever that ended up looking like for him.

“And if it doesn’t? If it leads me right back here? Maybe I had it wrong all along, and my dreams don’t have to all be about thrill seeking and adrenaline rushes.”

“You’d be passing up a great opportunity though. That’s not nothing.” The birds circled back around, playing now, dancing in the early morning air.

“It would be a risk, sure, but so is going.” Now Rain was the one to squeeze Garrick’s hand, holding on tight. “What if what I’ve been searching for has been right here all along? Do I really need to spend another year or five learning that before we both trust it? Waste all that time?”

Huh. This wasn’t the response Garrick had spent all week anticipating. He didn’t want to try to talk Rain out of conclusions he’d reached when he’d said he’d listen and trust Rain to know his own mind, but he also didn’t want to be too fast in taking Rain up on the staying option. Taking a breath, he pulled Rain a little closer.

“Trust me, I know better than most how life can change in an instant. And I don’t want to waste time either. And the worst thing for me wouldn’t be leaving this place. It would be missing out on my chance to have you. Yeah, there’s still that possibility that maybe someday you’ll go and not take me with you, but I want to at least be open to going, to compromising, to not simply letting you walk away and take my heart with you. Because that much is a given—you’ve got my whole heart now, no matter what.”

Nodding solemnly, Rain swallowed audibly, holding Garrick’s hand that much tighter. “And if I believe you care that much, can you believe me when I say that I don’t want to put you in that position? Not right now. Can you trust me enough to let me stay?”

“That’s really what you want? No hotshot crew?” The pair of joggers were back, circling the path, not quite so in sync, but laughing at each other, clearly having a great time. Maybe that mattered more than how in step they’d been earlier. Garrick spared them a smile as they passed.