“Is it so bad being back in Oregon?” Mami made a rustling noise. Chances were good that she too was cooking, something that brought him comfort, same as the way they effortlessly fell into their usual mix of Spanish and English conversation, her accent heavier as she peppered him with questions.
“Not sure,” he hedged as he stirred his skillet. “Seeing some old friends here and there hasn’t been terrible.”
“Old friends?” Her tone perked up, but Luis was having none of it.
“A few. Tucker says hi and that he misses your cooking.” He kept his tone deliberately casual.
“I always did like that boy.” She’d never known the full story of what happened to their friendship, and he sure as heck wasn’t going into it now.
“But it’s still the same rural area. Nothing much open after five other than chain stores and restaurants. Waiting on tractors on country roads. Lots of belt buckles and rodeo ads.”
“See, that I always liked. Give me all the cowboys.” She laughed, but he made an outraged noise.
“Mami!”
“What? I like to look. You don’t have to sound so scandalized. I always liked it there. So pretty. The mix of all that green and then the desert colors. The ability to go for hikes in the summer without roasting. Housing prices didn’t hurt either.”
Luis’s view of his past tilted, old assumptions wavering in the face of her surprising enthusiasm. “Didn’t you miss LA? Could have sworn I remembered you being excited about moving back.”
“Of course, I was. I’ve always liked new adventures, and I missed family. Our neighborhood. But missing people is different from hating a place.”
“Huh.” His tangled-up emotions were becoming more knotted by the moment. As the new kid, his longing for familiar people and things had been closely tied to how he felt about the area. And now as an adult, resentment over the assignment and mixed emotions about seeing Tucker again had initially clouded his return. But he could also admit Mami had a point. The cheaper cost of living and gorgeous scenery were nice bonuses. “I guess if we had to be somewhere new, there were far worse locales the bank could have sent us.”
“Exactly. I wasn’t miserable in Oregon by any means. It was a great opportunity for Papi. His parents didn’t work every day of their lives to send him to school to see him waste that sort of chance. And it was good for you boys too. Room to roam.”
“We certainly did that.” It had been a long time since he’d let himself dwell on the happy memories. Even after reconciling his friendship with Tucker, he’d kept his focus on the present. But there had been good memories. Long hikes with Mami and his brothers. The bigger house and yard, all the possibilities for hide-and-seek he and Tucker had maximized as kids. His first time river rafting. The fire explorers program. All the school plays, and the way the whole town had come out for them. He’d found his love for the outdoors in this area and his passion for firefighting had sprung from this place as well.
“But now your brothers have given me so many reasons to stay local, I don’t even have the time to travel that I always said I would.” She laughed lightly but Luis still felt the sting. Grandkids trumped everything else in her life, including apparently her urge to experience fresh adventures.
“How are the kids?” he asked, both dutifully and to get her away from pointless walks down memory lane that only left him more confused.
“Oh, the birthday party is going to be so fun!” She filled him in on all the particulars before adding, “We all hope you can make it. You’re their favorite!”
“Because I bring toys.” He went ahead and plated the food he’d probably only pick at.
“You spoil them, yes, but we want you there because we miss you. Maybe no more trips for a while?” Her voice was softer now, less upbeat.
“I don’t have much say in it, but that would be nice.” God knew he was going to be recovering from this one for a long, long time. He’d survive the hurt because he’d been here before, but damn, this part where the loss seemed to come in waves was the worst.
“Yes, I’m sure your apartment misses you too.”
“Not sure I miss it.” He laughed but it was true. It was still his rebound place, the place he’d found because he couldn’t stay in the old one with the memories of Mike closing in on him. He’d literally signed the first lease in his price range that he’d found because he’d been too stressed to manage a long hunt. Only later, coming out of his grief fog, had he noticed all the little things he disliked about the place. Seeing Heidi’s and Tucker’s houses had only underscored for him that he probably needed to move. He seriously doubted it would help him get over Tucker any faster though. A nicer kitchen was only going to make him wish he was cooking for someone special. Someone like Tucker.