“It’s okay. The last thing you need to hear about right now is some...tragedy. Ask me about my team or my friends. Group of us would love to have you come out for breakfast or a beer with us next weekend.”
Zack’s stomach flopped, bile stinging his throat. The lieutenant was wrong. Hard as it was to think about, this wasn’t the last thing he needed to hear. In fact, maybe he needed to hear this. In all his troubles with Cobb, he’d never once thought about how it could affect those around him. “Lieutenant—”
“Apollo, please. We’re not on duty.”
“Fair enough. What if...what if someone was...stepping out of line on the teams? Hassling and stuff? Making it...hard to be...out?” Zack’s heart beat faster, simply asking the question.
“Someone harassing you? Tell me about it.” Apollo’s voice was nothing short of a direct order as he leaned forward.
“Okay.” Zack needed a breath to steady himself. “There’s this guy. Known him since BUD/S and maybe it’s not a huge deal—”
“It is. Continue.” Apollo’s broad shoulders stiffened, and his scowl was truly impressive.
“Anyway, he kind of...bothers me,” Zack continued, careful not to name Cobb, but he told Apollo the gist of the stunts Cobb had pulled, and the more he talked and the more Apollo nodded and made encouraging noises, the more he shared about what had been happening—the jokes, the blackmail, the nasty comments, all of it.
“And you haven’t reported this?” Apollo’s voice was all business as Zack finished his story.
“No, sir.”
“You were afraid of outing yourself?” Apollo’s tone shifted to a bit more sympathetic. “I’ve been there, before DADT was repealed. Nothing sucks worse than not being able to talk about the best thing in your life.”
“Yes.” Fuck. That was exactly where Zack had been for months now. But what if Apollo was right and he was risking his life to stay in the closet? That was what it really boiled down to. Could he trust these guys to have his six when it counted when they were deployed? Could he trust himself to not be distracted by the harassment? He’d almost died once, ignoring the warning signs in his body because he’d been so distracted by Cobb and Harper. Did he really want to be responsible for making Pike’s eyes as haunted as Apollo’s?
“I can get the forms for you to do a complaint to your commanding officer, but I guess the real question here is whether you’re ready. I can tell you until I’m blue in the face that you won’t be alone, but you’ve got to be ready.”
Zack looked square at Apollo and asked the only thing that really mattered. “Were you happy?”
The sadness that crossed the lieutenant’s face said volumes. “Yeah. We were. Never doubted for a minute that I did the right thing coming out to my team—we were married three weeks after the DADT repeal. Best thing I ever did.”
Zack’s sinuses burned. So much pain and longing in the other man’s words. There was only one possible reply. “Then, yeah, I’m ready.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Now, that seems like a good friend for you,” Zack’s mother remarked on her way into his hospital room Sunday morning right as Apollo was leaving, Zack’s future tucked into his leather bag. His parents had decided to go to a San Diego church of their same denomination, which let Zack have time to work with Apollo, who’d kept his word and returned first thing with the forms for a formal harassment complaint.
“That your CO?” his dad asked, more adept than his mother at spotting military guys. Apollo had been in street clothes, but he carried himself with an officer’s bearing, even in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.
“Not mine. Just a...new friend.” Zack tiptoed around the truth.
“Speaking of friends, I’ve been thinking...” His mother’s voice was distracted as she sat down in the chair, searching through her large purse for the ever-present book of puzzles. Her thinking was never a good thing, and Zack’s spine stiffened up.
“Yeah?”
“It’s getting close to the holidays. I heard them say you’re likely to be on medical leave for a while. Why don’t you see if you can arrange to come home? Even if only for a day or two.”
Zack squished his eyes shut. He did not want to go home. There was only one person he wanted to spend the holidays with, and he wasn’t even sure Pike felt the same way. But no way did he want to deal with Danny and his family drama. “I probably can’t get leave. I’ll be ready for duty soon enough.”
“You could try. I’m thinking we could have Leslie and her parents over. I told you how upset she was to hear you were sick.”
“Mom. Leslie and I are never going to be a thing.” Zack managed to get that much of the truth out.