“Good.” The LT nodded like all was settled, even as Ben’s gut churned. He couldn’t imagine a team without Maddox on it, couldn’t imagine a world where they didn’t head out together. It didn’t take much to call up the memory of their first conversation.
“You gonna ring out?” Ben had asked the rangy guy struggling to breathe on the beach, resisting the urge to flop down next to him. If he did, he was afraid he might never get back up again, that was how tired he was. Every report he’d heard about Hell Week of SEAL training had been right.
“Fuck no.” The guy’s name was Hover or Hoover or...Horvat. That was it, and so far Ben wasn’t impressed with what he’d seen. The guy excelled at chowing down meals and keeping his head down, but not much else, far as Ben was concerned.
“Good. Me neither.” Ben offered him a hand up.
“Thanks. I owe you one.” Horvat lurched to his feet. “And I’m not letting either of us ring out. Saw you out there on the swim, fighting hard. That was your buddy who rang out after, right?”
“Right,” Ben said dully. Will hadn’t even looked at him as he’d stumbled to the bell that signaled someone was tapping out of SEAL training.
“Yeah, my friend rang out yesterday too. But I’m not gonna be that guy and neither are you.” Horvat sounded awfully certain of this. Maybe the guy was struggling more than some, but he gave a hell of a pep talk and Ben could use that on his side. Ben had felt a little of his weariness drain away.
And for the past decade, Ben had counted on that rock-solid confidence to get him through even the hardest missions.
Nope. No way was Maddox processing out. Must be some sort of oversight on his part. Maddox had seemed awfully distracted lately. Ben would just have to sit on him until he got his paperwork in.
No, not sit on. That meant touching and that meant thoughts Ben couldn’t be having as they headed out on the mission.
Why can’t things stay the same? They’d been friends over a decade now, and it had always been a beautiful, uncomplicated thing. Solid as the cliffs of Torrey Pines and as reliable as the tides. They’d been little more than kids together. Every career milestone they’d reached together. Everything major in Ben’s life, including his disaster of a marriage, Maddox had been right there for.
And Ben had gone and ruined all that. All because he’d broken the one ironclad rule of friendship—don’t become attracted to your best friend. Hell, after Trey, Ben had made it a point to not even like his potential partners too much. And Maddox? Well, like wasn’t ever going to come close to summing up his feelings. Those feelings had become even more complicated since the time his once-rather-vague attraction to Maddox had suddenly burst onto the forefront of his brain...and his dick.
“I might have used all the hot water.” Maddox had leaned against the doorway to his guest room. A towel had been tied around his waist and his fuzzy chest was still damp. Ben could remember when that chest was way barer and Maddox far skinnier, but he didn’t remember ever noticing him quite like this.
“No problem.” Ben was still having a hard time thinking of this as his room. It still had Maddox’s computer desk and Maddox’s framed movie posters on the wall along with some belongings Maddox’s ex hadn’t bothered picking up. Man, they both knew how to pick them, right? Even the comforter on the bed was Maddox’s, because Trey had taken Ben’s bedding too. It was only temporary, him living at Maddox’s. Just until he figured his shit out. Fucking Trey, emptying all the accounts he could get his hands on.
Maddox stretched, pulling an arm over his head. Ben had seen him stretch out his triceps like this a thousand times, and never once had he thought the sight erotic.
Until now.
Maddox’s golden skin glistened in the hallway light, and the beard left over from the mission they’d just returned from gave him a rugged air. Not that Ben was into lumberjack porn, but there was something about the casual way Maddox stood, completely comfortable in his skin. Why had he never noticed that before?
Just like he’d never noticed how full Maddox’s lower lip was or how defined his shoulders were or how perfect the muscles around his hips—
No. Stop. He couldn’t notice things like that. Absolutely unacceptable. Macking on his friend could only lead to trouble.
And it had. And now after months of things being awkward, Ben was going to have go out there, worrying about why Maddox hadn’t done his reenlistment papers, wondering if they’d ever get their friendship back on track.
* * *
“Drop zone approaching.” The LT readied everyone. “Horvat, I’m counting on you to haul ass, get in position.”